May 2001
may 8
I'm out with Maria and some other people, preparing to go for a walk out in the hills. There are tons of people who are doing the same thing. A lot of them have these pickup trucks, and in the bag they have hundreds of loaves of white Wonder bread, and they're all eating some of it. Some kid is having a birthday party and I'm looking at the invitation. It costs $26 to get in (some of the money goes to buy pizza) and it will cost someone $1 to look at the party or to pick someone up. All of my friends are at my grandma's house, and Michael and Dana are sitting together in the living room because they're dating. Some other girls and I are all getting ready for some kind of dance, and my bathroom is bigger with room for everyone. I'm sharing the shower with this one girl and she wants some of my mother's light blue hair dye that she says belongs to my mom. I'm arguing with Greg and he keeps telling me "Shut the fuck up" over and over again. When we're talking to my parents I tell them but they don't believe me. I'm in the living room and I'm watching "Grosse Pointe Blank" but other than the fact that John Cusack plays a hitman, everything in the movie is totally different. Dana and Dylan are in my living room. I'm trying to watch TV but there are these weird radio-music sounds and I can't figure out where they're coming from. I finally figure out that they're coming from Dylan. The music is coming from him and these weird blue lights keep on passing over him. I finally figure out how to "turn him off" but he gets turned back on again when I try to use the remote on the TV. I'm watching the news and Katrina is on. She is a teacher in Danville and she's reading some speech about how they should get more money. There are these two Soprano-esque guys in my backyard, in some orange-and-yellow striped tent, playing with these two vicious dogs. The dogs will attack you as soon as they see you, unless you can shield yourself behind something. I put up this little fence that's supposed to grow smaller to surround you but it doesn't work and the dogs go after me.
may 13
I'm with my mom and some psychologist dude. He has this organizer that's kind of like mine, and I'm looking
through the files to see if I know anyone. They have this profile for one of the psycho guys form Columbine
and it was saying how he was interested in real estate or something and I'm like "Oh, great, I'm interested
in the same stuff as some crazy person." Maria and I are hanging out in what looks to be my grandma's house.
She (Maria) is dancing around naked and she's talking on the phone to Mark. Maria comes over to me (I'm
laying down on the bed) and we start kissing and stuff and she's telling Mark that he should come over and
we could have a threesome. I'm like "Ahhh no" and so we're talking, and she doesn't really want to do it either.
But she's like, "I told him I would, so I might as well" and I'm trying to convince her that she doesn't have to.
Mark drives over in this weird car and he has some older woman and her little girl with him. They hang around
while he comes inside and he wants to see Maria, but I tell her to hide while I try to talk to him out of the
whole thing. He gets angry at me but he finally leaves.
may 26
I'm back in high school, and it's around graduation time. School has just ended and everyone is hanging around
on the sidewalks in small groups. We are all waving and yelling to the people driving in their cars. A lot of
them pause to take pictures of us. I'm watching a Child's Play movie and in the movie the Chucky doll is
huge (about 10 or so feet tall). I am driving Rose and Trevor home from school, and we go to Rose's house
first. We go inside and start talking to our moms. I remember that Trevor is still in the car so I run outside.
The front yard of Rose's house looks like the front of mine, and Trevor is sitting over by the flowers. I say,
"Why didn't you come inside?" And he was like "I didn't want to bother anyone." I sit down in this one
chair and it's so small that when I try to make myself comfortable I topple over. Trevor is worried but I just
laugh. I am petting this really cute, white fluffy dog named Maxie. We are having a yard sale and there is
a long line of people stretching down the street, waiting for it to start. In the front of the line is this guy
with long blond hair. Maria and I are in a store looking at a lava-lamp keychain like the one I have, only
it's bigger. We're messing around with it, and I mess it up so that there's all this white gunky stuff floating
around in it. I hand it to Maria and she messes around with it so that all these tiny colored beads appear.
I'm shopping with Dana and Zach and he is stealing things. I'm walking around with Dana and Mark and
while they go to get food I run for the line to the bathroom. Mark tells me that I'm late to everything, and I
say that he only thinks that because he never knew me before the first grade. I go into my bedroom and
Gina is messing around with all of my stuff on the bookshelf.
may 30
I'm in the backyard at night, and I'm sitting in the hammock listening to music. I fall asleep and when I
wake up, everything is bathed in this bright blue light even though it's very late. I go inside to see if I can
find my camera and I see everyone sleeping, but my music is still playing really loud. The song "Far Behind" by Candlebox is on. For some reason I think the phone is ringing but it isn't. I'm back in high school and I'm in a PE/computer/math class
with Steve. We are wearing the PE outfits and we sit down at these computers, and the one I choose isn't
the same as the others (the wallpaper refuses to show up). I guess that Mr. Spelling is the teacher because
he comes in and starts talking about something or other. Norman walks in late and kind of hides and I'm
like, "Oh, he must be Mr. Spelling's IWE again." Then Mr. Spelling starts yelling because there is this girl
sitting over by a chalkboard and she starts erasing what had been written on there. They are both angry
and she keeps swishing over the board while he tries to pull her away and push her out of the classroom.
I'm with this guy while he's filming a documentary. We're on one side of a huge ditch-type thing and on the
other side, some people are walking across all this dirt and mud. It's muddy because there are all these
waterfalls, but instead of clear water going through them it's sewage and other gross stuff. I see two little
shapes like this:
dancing to Nina Gordon's "Tonight and the Rest of My Life."
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