June 2003
june 3
My mom is giving me a driving lesson, and instead of going off to a parking lot first, we decide to just start at our house. I'm in the driveway and trying to pull out, but I can't make it go out sideways. I try to stop the car because I am getting too close to one of our neighbors car, but I can't keep my foot on the brake. So I'm trying to figure out the parking brake but we're in the van and I have no idea how to do it.
june 4
I'm at school with Rose (I think we're on east campus at Pitt) and there is some video that we really want to see (a project made my someone at school?). There is this whole group of people and we're climbing up these flights of stairs because the video is at the top. It seems at each floor, we lose a bunch of people. Rose and I are trying to stay in the lead and for some reason it is very hard for me to climb the stairs but I do it. When we get near the top, I notice a couple of the people near us are John and someone who I think is his girlfriend. I think they get closed off behind this gate so only Rose and I are left. I'm at home and my dad comes in from outside, talking about some weird doll that our neighbor has. He and my mom call it a voodoo doll even though it isn't. My dad says he was out in the yard and saw the doll on the sidewalk, one foot forward, as if it were going to come towards our house. I start getting all creeped out about it. I go into the backyard and from the door, I can see the doll (red outfit, orange hair) lying on the side of the shed, so I run back inside. My brother and his twin (????) go to take out the garbage and they are worried the doll is going to be in the can. Rose is sleeping over and for some reason we are staying in the laundry room. I am really cold and all wrapped up in this blue sleeping bag. I am tired but can't fall asleep, but Rose does right away.
june 8
My parents haven't officially gotten the house yet and we still have to do the checking in thing, except you have to walk through all these hills to get there, and stop in at this room and tell some judge that you're still interested. I go along with Rose and her mom even though I know my parents were already there that day. When we're leaving, a lot of the people are jumping rope instead of walking. This older guy in front of Rose gives her a jump rope and we each hold an end of it. I can't jump sideways so I give up. There is this part near the end where you have to walk across this piece of narrow, flat wood, and if you fall off, you can't get the house. When I get to the piece of wood, it's all wobbly, but I manage to fix it so I can cross. When I get to the other side, it changes so I am in class. The room looks kind of the Little Theatre but has a lot of desks, real ones. The piece of wood is still there and I move it to the front of the room and sit down in almost the back row. This girl is passing out forms for everyone to fill out, on whether or not they have taken drivers ed yet. I'm sitting next to this girl who asks me for help because she keeps writing down the wrong words. The room turns into more like a pool, which each row of seats being like a tier with water coming down like a fountain. The girl drops something of mine, but gets it back and asks me not to be mad. Then she loses something of hers and when she can't find it, she blames me. The teacher tells me I have to find it so I start going through the entire pool, looking for it. I'm having trouble because I can't see very well unless I go underwater, but I don't want to. The teacher tells me I better start diving. It changes so the pool is outside and practically everyone in school is watching me. The girl changes into this little boy, and I finally get out of the pool and tell him I'll just give him money to replace the lost doll, and he wants almost $60 but I tell him I'll give him $40. He gets distracted by someone and I run off into the building, which turns into my grandma's house. I go into this back room so I can change into my clothes, and look through my bag, but there's not much. There is an unused pad in there that's had a big piece ripped off of it. There are also books in my bag and a bunch of books all over the room. I see one of them is Stephen King's "It." I can hear my mom and grandma talking about someone who left their kids in some cabin (a woman), and now the kids had a new stepfather or someone. They're also talking about how the woman who left their kids is always asking my mom to go on vacation with her and her family. I'm seeing something about these cartoon animals that can trade places. They have to put this weird lotion, Crisco looking stuff on themselves to do it. There are a few turtles, a lizard, and I think at least one bear, and maybe a goose or a duck. I have this tape recorder that I'm trying to get to work. It's this special one that is supposed to be really helpful if you're in a band, and finally I get these words to show up on a little screen.
june 15
I'm having a party at my house and first everyone is playing video games. When we stop we decide to play cards. A couple of my younger cousins are there. The cards all have pictures of wrestlers on the back. I'm sitting between one of my cousins and this guy, whose girlfriend is on his other side. The guy keeps trying to get me to play footsie with him and bothering me even though his girlfriend (her name is Sharon) is right there. Finally I tell him something and he blames it on me, and Sharon does too. We start this whole big argument, and the guy keeps making fun of me and all this stuff. We go out into the front yard and he throws this weird paper at me. I think it's something bad so I throw it back. It lands in the street and it bursts into flames. Then there is something cool going on at the party (I think maybe a clown is there?) and the guy wants to see, but I won't let him until he talks to me. I keep asking him why he's doing what he's doing. The party is over and I'm back in my house. My dad isn't talking to me and he won't tell me why even though I keep asking. Finally he gets up and tells me we have to go somewhere. I'm eating either a piece of chicken or a piece of pizza, and I put it on a napkin on the table so I can finish it later. I'm in my room getting ready to go out with Maria and one of her friends, and I look all cute and everything and realize I forgot to shave my underarms (I was wearing a shirt with no sleeves so I was all like "Ahh" and put on a jacket just as they get there even though it's really hot. We get into the car and I'm not sure who's driving, because her mom and her grandma are both sitting in the passenger seat. I don't notice this until I'm saying something to Maria like "I didn't know what the hell was going on," and she says, "Don't say that, my mom is right there," so I shut up. Sitting in the back, between Maria and I, is the other friend (?). Then I'm at school with Dana. She has some point she wants to make to me about something, so she drags me along to the junior high cafeteria. When we get there everyone is just finishing up the pledge of allegiance. Right away this one girl comes up to me, takes my arm, and asks me if I'll have lunch with her and her friends. Dana and I go along and sit with the girl and some of her guy friends. The girl says she has some weed in her purse that we can have later, and I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I leave the cafeteria and now the building looks like LMC. I'm walking around aimlessly and Dana comes out and we walk outside together. It is really hot so we take our shirts off and just walk around in our bras. This guy going into the building tells me something so I put my shirt back on. We get outside and I see that my mom is there to pick me up so I hurry and tlel Dana "Thanks for hanging out with me all the time, even though I'm stupid," and I say something about being stupid fifty percent of the time and she says "Oh, not that much." Dana's car is there, but something is wrong with it. It's this big white van with this cool silver writing on one side. My mom drives home and on the way, we pass this woman who keeps throwing this bowling ball at this pole because she wants to cause a power outage. I'm seeing something about this weird, hidden room and a guy and a girl live there. There is some evil camera that has a personality and when the guy leaves for something, it comes on and starts saying mean things to the girl. The guy comes back and talks to the camera, which is named Liza and also is represented by this big eye on a box in the ceiling.
june 16
I'm in the backyard and for some reason I'm completely naked. I'm afraid someone is going to come out, or that someone next door will see me, so I'm trying to put on my clothes as fast as I can but I'm having a really hard time. I'm at home alone because everyone else went somewhere for the week. I'm bored so I decide to go to this house (I think in Martinez) because they have all of these crafts for sale in the backyard. I see this sign on the back gate that says they also have stuff for sale in the house, so I decide to go in there. I'm carrying around this martini glass because I was drinking, and I hand it to the guy who lives there because he is on this weird platform and I can't get up there. Finally I get into the house and I'm looking around with a couple of other people. One is this Asian girl who's talking on her cell phone the whole time, and the other is this guy who's carrying around a bottle of white wine. Showing us around is this really snobby woman who's the wife of the house. The girl sits down on this couch and the woman starts yelling at her. The house is really dusty and it's flying everywhere. The guy and I are looking around in a bedroom and he spills his wine, so we hurry and clean it up. I'm about to leave and I want to annoy the woman so I tell her that I'm thinking of buying a house in that neighbordhood. The couple has two dogs, one of which is really cute and nice, but the other keeps coming up and barking at me (I can never see it because it's behind my back) and it won't go away till one of the people tells it to. I leave the house and I'm walking home. My grandpa drives past me and tells me he'll drive me home so I get in the car. For some reason we end up in some BART parking lot and it's all twisty so we're having a hard time getting out. I'm hanging out with one of my cousins, her husband, Maria and her boyfriend (he looks like the lead singer from Third Eye Blind). I'm messing around with my cell phone and I have two text messages from him. One is an old one, from 9/20, and the newest is 10/20 (the same 'day' as my dream). In the new one he wrote that I shouldn't be lonely, that I need a break from my family. I'm trying to text him back but having a hard time. I'm trying to write that I agree with him, and that I've been having fun, and talking about some concert that I went to.
june 17
I belong to this big group of people who get together and dance. We're meeting in this cafeteria and the leader announces to everyone that my family and I are moving to Chicago. We are all wearing this pretty white outfits and start dancing around. I am really bad and looking at the people next to me to see how to do it. Someone is asking me what I'm going to do for a job when I live there. I've been out all day with my mom, Rose, and her mom. We come back to my house and we're really tired and hot. I'd forgotten to make a dessert but we still have a half-eaten pan of that toffee dessert. I go into my room to put my stuff away and change into something cooler. Then I'm looking at my cell phone and see that I have two new text messages from Maria. I'm trying to look at them but the battery starts to die and it won't work. To try to work better, it deletes the messages and I'm annoyed. I start cleaning up and I find this camera case (for a video camera?) on the side of my bed, and a cell phone like mine but it belongs to my dad, so I take it to him. When I get back out to the living room, Rose is just leaving and her mom said it's because I took so long. Just as Rose is going down the steps, a bunch of guys come up. Among them are Mark and Andrew. Andrew and Rose hug. When Mark comes in, I see that he has braces or a retainer or something. We hug. All of the guys go into the backyard and have this big pool party that I watch from my bedroom window. My mom and Rose's mom are going to go to Brentwood to see the house.
june 23
I'm at school and something bad has happened. I am with this group of people and our job is to take all of these messages and notes off of one of those big bulletin boards. A couple of people from my drama class are there. I'm having dinner with Dana and some other people, a big fancy dinner. There is this butler serving everyone red wine. He asks me if I'm really 21 and I say "Would I be sitting here drinking red wine if I weren't?" and I don't think he believes me but gives it to me anyway. I'm at home and making food for all of these people who are around. This guy who used to be a chef comes up and tells me I have to fill out a form because I'm about to make some chicken for this one dude. I'm having issues filling out the form because you have to write down how much the chicken weighs and I really can't tell. When I try to write on the paper my handwriting comes out really bad and big, like that of a kid who is just learning to write. I'm in a class at the college and really bored so I run out of the room, dancing and jogging along. I end up behind these two girls who I think are dumb so I start making fun of them. A few guys who are inside a classroom are watching me. i wave at them and then sneak back into my class, and I am unnoticed because there is some movie on a projector. My teacher is this old, gray-haired guy with glasses. We've moved into the new house and Maria comes to visit. She's confused on how to find my room. It's in the area where the garage would be, and instead of an actual wall, in some places it just has that lattice stuff.
june 25
I'm talking to Maria on the phone and she's asking me something about Mr. Bailey, if I remembered that he always wore red and about something that happened when he had to switch classrooms. I'm at home and I've made all of these cookies and I won't let anyone else have any. My dad keeps pestering me about it but I say I don't want to share. I am the character Phoebe from "Friends" and I am dating a dwarf. It's Christmas and as gifts we've given each other rings. They are in this small, cardboard ring-shaped containers that have these little tabs on them, and if you don't take the tabs off right, an alarm will go off. One of the rings has a blue stone in it.
june 28
I'm on what seem to be two different dates, on the same night. I'm at this restaurant and first I'm with this mime at the bar. I leave him and I go to this table in the back where my date and this other couple are (it's like a double date). Both the guy and I really dislike the other couple so we say we have to run up to the bar and get a drink he likes that can only be found there. The bar is big and I am trying to hide behind my date so the mime doesn't see me. I'm having dinner at someone else's house and the dad or whoever is hot so I start kissing him. I'm walking around some house, or maybe an apartment, with some guy who is maybe my boyfriend. We are arguing but not about anything serious, and then we start playfighting and he is dragging me around the house and starts to spank me.
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