February 2004
february 3
We're living back in Pittsburg. Rose and her mom come to stay for a weekend. They have an awful lot of clothes and games with them. There are a bunch of appetizers (mostly chicken) set up on the table. While Rose and her mom put their stuff away, I go in the other room where my dad and brother are watching some really stupid, funny horror movie. The phone rings and my dad talks to the person for a couple of a minutes and says "She'll call you back." When he hangs up he tells me that it was Maxine. The phone rings again, also for me, but he tells them I can't talk. This time it's Haley. I try using *69 since I don't know her number (either of their numbers actually) but it won't work. I'm talking to Rose and I say that we're going to be up all night going through the phone book because both of their last names are really common. There's this new computer virus going around, and my dad gets the password (5367) to create it. It's stored in this image file named artichoke. The picture is what looks like a pyramid made of lettuce and/or cabbage heads. There are three different bouquets of roses in the picture, and you click on them to access the virus. I want to know what it does but I'm scared it will mess everything up. I go with my mom while she has a meeting with someone at Gina's school. We're sitting on this patio outside. There are these strange yellow flowers and I'm pulling them out, and Gina tells on me.
february 5
Greg makes a bunch of appetizers. One of them is this tall sandwich with lettuce, ham, salami and cheese between several layers of bread. When I cut off a piece it all falls apart and I decide to eat it as a salad. Lupe is there and she and my brother are talking about school and getting in trouble. She tells him she's only been in trouble with little cops and he's been in trouble with big ones. I give her this look because I know she's lying. We're at the house in Pittsburg. My mom is all upset and crying and I ask her why, but she won't tell me anything. I ask what can I do and she asks me to go get her a cup with ice in it (for her Dr. Pepper). I do, and pour the soda into the cup, but then pour it back into the can, and then into a different cup. Gina is down in the converted room and looking at this calendar. She's angry because the calendar says it's the 13th, and that new neighbors are moving in and we have to give the calendar to them. She starts smoking a cigarette and won't put it out until I point out all of the good neighbors we have. My grandma is driving my mom and I to the store. They're talking about going to Save Mart and to some store where they can get boxes if they get there early enough. As we drive along we pass by Dana and these two girls that she's training for ? The two girls are wearing professional clothes, skirts and good shirts and jackets, and also ties. I go this big party at what looks kind of like Pitt. I'm sitting on this weird roll-out carpet with Rose and Maria. Dana's dad is there and he's handing out pieces of paper to different people. After Rose and Maria, he says it's a special honor to give it to me and so I take the paper, which I know is some kind of check, but I don't look at it yet. All of the papers are covered with weird golden charms and also beads, which spill everywhere. We have to give back the beads and charms, and I'm somehow put in charge of collecting them (there are a lot) and Rose won't help me pick them up. Rose and I are leaving and we look at the papers, which are like a check/money order. They are each for $566 and we both start worrying that if we don't leave fast enough he'll take them back, so we rush to her car. As she's pulling away he starts talking to us from the sidewalk, saying we should stay for the party. I say we have to run family errands so we leave. It's hard to get down the street because there are so many people crossing. Two of them are a woman who's selling strangely colored (green, purple) dogs, and a girl who is considering buying one. A crossing guard is there but she doesn't seem to be paying attention. Way down the street there's a nun. Rose and I are in a bathroom talking about the money. I wonder if we can just put it through in the ATM or if we have to go into the bank. She says she doesn't know, but that she had recently taken someone to the bank as a favor, and when she got there she found out she was overdrawn and they charged her $7. I take a careful look at the money order (it says International Money Order at the top) and it lists a bunch of different things for which you can be 'graded' - manners, mostly. There are several different color marks, orange being the best, then green, then yellow, and a bunch of others. I seem to have gotten pretty good marks. A couple of different categories listed have to do with if you've had a meal with the payee, and if the payee has ever been in the hospital.
february 7
I'm driving on east Leland and I reach the stoplight at Gladstone. The two lanes on the left can both go left, and I'm in the second one (on the right). I need to make a u-turn. When we get our light we have to wait for what seems like forever for the people coming in the opposite direction to go. As I'm turning I see this red car in the first left lane that has been in some kind of accident. There is this girl in the drivers seat and she's crying (she changes into a guy after awhile). I pull over (my car has now turned into an electric tricycle) to see if I can help or at least let someone use my cell phone. There are already a bunch of people around, some of them cops, so I guess not but I stick around anyway. A fire truck with its sirens on comes this way on the wrong side of the street but doesn't stop here. I turn into Sara Sidle from CSI, and Gil Grissom and I are going to stay at the guy's house overnight for observation. I'm walking around and I see the guy's wife. I don't know if she knows about us staying over, and I want to ask her if it's okay but she's busy talking on a cell phone to someone, and crying, so I don't bother her. Later that day, I get to the people's house first and I'm just walking around, looking at things. Gil comes next and he has a lot of stuff. I go to his truck to help but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be taking inside. Out there, I turn into myself and I see Merv talking to someone on the phone. He says his brother called him the other day and was even more quiet and shy than usual so he was calling him to see why. I see Julian also. He looks shorter and also heavier (he has a huge stomach). We just say "Hi" and "How are you." I'm with Zach and we're transporint a U-haul for someone. He has to drive because it's a stick shift. Gina is there with us at first, to help me with the puppies, but later she's not and neither are the dogs. We go this store (Raley's?) with a bunch of other people to help a teacher do some shopping. It's not school items, just personal stuff for her. I've hurt one of my legs so I can't walk but I can get around on rollerskates. I can't really find anything so I'm just trying to look busy. I'm talking to one girl in our class who is nice. She gets into an argument with this girl who is being mean to me. The mean girl says to me that I let everyone down, but it wasn't any less than they expected. When it's time to leave, everyone is confused about who is going with who, and where to. It seems like Zach and I share my room. He says something about how he's going to go home and just go to sleep right away, and I'm hoping he won't mind if I stay up using the computer for awhile. I go outside in the morning and near our house is this fraternity house. Three guys come out. They are eating cake and Gina sees, and wants a piece. They bring one over for her, and also some of this (nonalcoholic) drink they're having. At first it's creamy and pretty good, but then it changes to this weird dark color and it's carbonated. I tell my mom that it has orange soda as a main ingredient, and that I can also taste some cough syrup. I've been half-asleep and I'm hearing someone talk about scary movies, and I wake up completely in the front room of a house that's mine and not mine at the same time. I can see into the way back of this hallway, and there's something or someone scary in front of one of the doors. I go into my room (everything looks kind of washed over in sepia tones but not completely) and get into bed.
february 9
My mom and I are talking with these two or three other woman about this lady who'd brought us some housewarming stuff. She brought us this weird mismatched tea set with a tray, a toy (it looks like a Loony Toons character) and half of a pie (maybe raspberry). The lady actually brought the entire pie to our house, cut it in half and took half of it with her when she left. The women are laughing about how cheap she is, and my mom says it's because people never want to be around her. I'm in this huge building with some guy who is my friend. Everyone else in the building seems to have a conspiracy against both of us but especially him. A bunch of people literally pick him up and carry him up to the roof, where they plan to throw him off. There is a cop there who makes everyone let go of him, except for one guy who still throws him down to the ground. I start screaming and crying but no one really cares. I'm lying down on the ground and I don't want to get up so the cop starts to get mad at me. Finally he takes me to this room to rest. It's supposed to be his bedroom. There are two beds, one that's all messed up, and one that is made up with sheets and pillowcases that are black and white and have little police logos. There are four pillows, two white and two black. I lie down and he gives me some DVD's and CD's and video games in case I want to use them. The puppies are there and one of them goes pee on his rug, but he doesn't see and so I don't say anything since I don't like him or even trust him. I also get this folder of his, with a bunch of old papers (mostly letters he wrote to friends) in it. I get to keep whatever papers mention my name. I find a few. One of the letters he wrote was about how he was walking to school one day, and he passed by Deer Valley High, and there was an opening in the fence, so he went in to play basketball until they made him leave. The building has turned into a house and I go out into the front. The porch is really big. There is this guy on a bike, a sniper who is supposed to kill me. I see him go by so I try to hide under the picnic table on the porch. Finally I feel like just giving up, so I walk out there with my hands up, asking him to wait so I can say just one thing. It turns out that guy isn't the real sniper, he has this fake gun that just makes exploding noises, so everyone laughs at me. Zach is there and I tell him and this other girl that I'm just going to kill myself and get it over with. I say, "Where can I get a gun? No, fuck that, I'll just get a knife from the kitchen!" Then I see there's a bunch of knives on the porch so I decide to use one of those. Most of them are too big or look pretty dull. Zach is still there but the girl has disappeared, and we see that this big white Bronco (or Blazer?) has pulled up in the driveway. The guys in the car got the girl into the backseat and were teasing her, but they let her out. They come over to me and start trying to cause trouble, but I tell them I'm going to kill myself and they can watch if they want to. One of the guys, with dark hair and a blue shirt or jacket is still trying to bother me, so I have to keep pushing him back. The knife I've chosen is pretty small, has a white handle and I think it looks sharp enough. When I start to cut myself (on the left wrist) it doesn't seem to work very well - the cuts are very little and shallow, and mostly it just leaves these weird little bumps. I'm starting to get scared. Someone brings out this weird needle that I can use but I say no and start crying, so everyone comforts me.
february 10
I'm in Pittsburg and I'm meeting with this big group of people, including an old teacher of mine, to investigate this house that is supposed to be haunted. I call my dad on my cell phone because I want him to bring the Jeep out so I can drive back to Brentwood. Instead he wants to talk to the teacher to see what we're doing exactly, and he wants me to stay somewhere in Pittsburg overnight.
february 11
I run into Dana at Raley's and we talk about Valentines Day. I ask her if she's going to be home so I can take her some cookies or something, but she's not. She must have lost my phone number because she asks me for it, and she writes down her home and cell numbers for me. I'm at this grocery store looking for the bathroom. Finally this employee points me to it. When I'm walking into the hallway it turns into a movie theater, where a bunch of kids are watching some movie. I feel bad about walking in front of the kids in the back row, but this older girl is leading them all out anyway. I get to the bathroom and it's an individual one. There are these three weird, large metal lunchboxes sitting on the windowsill. They each belong to someone who does or used to work at Pitt. The last one, which is red and has a gold cross/plus sign on it belongs to Mr. Spelling (his name is on there, also in gold). I'm hanging out with Dana and some other people. She's telling me about a class she once took, and the teacher had this really cool computer with a bunch of games on it but never let people play it. A new girl came to the class and she just wanted to use it, not knowing the rules, and she did but the teacher let her. Everyone leaves, and my car is in the back of the parking lot. There are two guys there that I'm kind of friends with, and they ask if I can give them a ride. I say okay as long as I don't have to go on the freeway, because it freaks me out. The first place is Best Buy (or a store like it). It's dark in there and there's really loud music playing. They get a video camera because they're making a horror movie with their friends. It's being filmed in my old house in Pittsburg. I go with them and they ask me to run the camera while they do the scene, which is: It's a whole group of friends and one of the girls has disappeared. Everyone goes into the bathroom, which is empty except for a bunch of blood everywhere, so they know something has happened. While they are still in there talking I take the camera and look down in the converted room, where the girls body is. There is some evil spirit that looks like her that makes all of us wear a bracelet on each wrist, to control us. For some reason the spirit is afraid to put one on my left wrist, so instead she gives me this necklace with a red heart, on the condition that I give it back to her when she says to. I'm in the woods and something bad has happened - like a massacre, but not like a war. A lot of people have been turned into different kinds of monsters, especially vampires. I'm talking to this one vampire who has a girl's spirit trapped in this plastic bag. She's invisible in the bag, but she screams the whole time. To stop her from screaming, he has to empty the bag onto the ground, but then she changes into a gross, bloody pile of guts. I go walking with the vampire and another girl who seems pretty normal compared to everyone else. I have to drive us away. The normal girl sits in the passenger seat, and the vampire and two other monsters have to sit in the back seat so people won't see them from the outside. The ground is almost completely covered by clothes of all different colors. There are lots of people with shopping carts full of stuff that they've scavenged from dead people and/or their houses. It changes so I also have a shopping cart, and I'm at a store with my family. It's dark in there. People keep cutting in front of me in line, and this one couple has a cart that has pretty much only doughnuts inside. When I finally get in line, this blond girl in front of me tries to take this green glass bottle I have, and a Gladware container that she says belonged to her family. I take it back but feel bad and let her have it, because it's small and I also have another one that's larger. I get up to the cash register, and the cashier is this Indian girl around my age. Besides the Gladware and bottles, I don't have much else, except for a few huge Herschey's chocolate bars. In total, everything costs $6.50, and I have $8.
february 14
I've been out and when I get home everyone is sitting in the living room and acting kind of weird. My mom tells me that there's someone on the second floor, and I can hear them moving around all right. I get panicked and I'm trying to think of somewhere to hide when they come down - it's Rose and her mom. Rose and I go upstairs to where my room is. It's a lot more narrow, and the walls are lavender.I tell her that I've just moved everything around. We're walking around the house, and it's connected with a bunch of other houses (like apartments). There is a common stairway and she sees a janitor, and gets freaked out. I'm with this guy in an elevator, and the elevator leaves the building and is going around the street. We're talking about what might happen if the elevator crashes into a car, and if the elevator manufacturer will be in trouble since it's obviously malfunctioning. We are part of this group that has to investigate what happened at some farm on the side of Lone Tree. I tell him I'm okay with driving, but he takes me all the way out to Pittsburg where Rose used to live. She's there and she's also part of the group. I'm waiting to see who I'm going with and I'm sitting on this horse that is really tall and hard to get down from. When I do the guy has me sit in the passenger seat of Rose's car, so I think I'm going with her. Instead they both go with other people and I have to somehow drive her car from the passenger seat. I seem to do okay at first but get progressively worse, especially when I try to make turns. Finally I pull over and get the guy to also. I'm with these two girls and we're near the weird farm. The grass is really tall, as tall as us or maybe more. The farm itself looks all burnt out. The grass is squishy and we kind of have to swim through it. We're all afraid to look too closely, that we might see a body or something weird. We're going through the grass to get to some soda machines. Rose and I go to this weird dance/reunion. I don't like the outfit I'm wearing, which is this black shirt. I rubbed some shimmer powder on my neck, but it got onto the collar of the shirt and dried into this weird fuschia glitter. We go to this store where she had taken some of my shirts to get dry cleaned. I get this one pretty one that is red with flower designs on it. While we're in line I start changing into that shirt even though there are people all around. I tell them that I'm changing "gym class style", trying to put on one item of clothing even though I haven't taken off the other. I say that if I was really clever I'd put the new one on top and take the old one out from under it. Rose and I are getting ready in this bathroom, putting on makeup and jewelry. I have a box for each, these huge clear cases. In the makeup case I'm looking for a certain pink lipstick that I can't find, and a clear gloss that had fallen down to the floor. Rose hears someone in the stalls and says that they've been there for a long time and they're awfully rude to just stay there. The girl comes out acting all crazy and says "Well excuse me for not having manners" and she's all splashing her hands in the toilet. I have a lot of jewelry that matches my outfit - black and red bracelets, a choker, and two rings for each finger. Two of the rings has this weird white stone that looks like a cross between a pearl and an opal, and the other rings have red stones. When we're ready we have to go to this really boring meeting. Rose just walks out the door while the guy in charge yells at her, and I sit in the front row, waiting to sneak out when no one is looking. I'm talking to this guy who has a map of the area, but it's not a regular map. It's all these boxes that signify feet/miles or whatever, and little red circles that indicate property boundaries. He says there's something on the map not even a mile away that he wants to go check out. I'm at the reunion still and they're showing a video of when we went there. They talk about how there was only one main room for everything, and they showed this huge board they put down for when it was time for lunch. They also show a video of everyone at typewriters, supposedly working on the school newspaper.
february 19
I'm going on a trip with my parents, sister and grandparents to Florida. I'm not sure if we're going to Disneyworld or Universal Studios but it's one of those. We're going on one of those charter buses and it is absolutely huge - it must hold at least 100 people but maybe even more. The line to get on the bus seems really long, but we're some of the first people to get on so we have our pick of seats. The seats are all 4 in a row, and they're nice seats, like on an airplane but bigger. Some of them can be reclined back all the way, and moved up or down. I manage to get one of these chairs (which is next to a window). I'm kind of nervous about that because I know we'll be going fast and I'd rather not see, so I decide I'll pull the shade down when we get going. All of the seats have a small TV in front of them, and I wish that I'd brought earphones so I could hear mine clearly without hearing everyone else's. I know there's going to be some program with Chris Rock on it and I'm planning on watching that. The bus is all full and this guy (a steward I suppose) tells us that we'll be able to move around all we want on the trip and if we watch TV to keep them as quiet as we can. Quite some time goes by and my mom and I for some reason are no longer interested in going. We're arguing with my grandma about it, who is sayinig there's no way we can leave. My mom and I disagree, saying that the driver must stop at least once every six hours to use the bathroom, and we'll leave then. We make this official announcement and my grandma gets angry and calls a meeting with a lot of other passengers to talk about. I'm in Pittsburg, walking around in the older part of town. Dana shows up in her car and asks if I want a ride (to my old house) and I say yes. I ask her how she is and what she's been up to, and she doesn't say much. She's making me nervous because she's driving really fast. She asks me how I get to Pittsburg from Brentwood, and seems disappointed when I say Lone Tree. We're getting closer to the house and she almost knocks over this girl crossing the street. At the house on the corner of my street, there are a bunch of horses lying down in the front yard. When we get to my house there are these two puppies (they're very big but obviously puppies, I'm not sure what breed they are) tied up to the fence and they can move pretty close to the curb. I have to tell Dana because I'm not sure if she can see them. I get out of her car and I have to pass the puppies to go up to the house. I'm kind of nervous, wondering if they'll bite. They just sniff and so I go inside. It's all dark and quiet and I wonder if anyone is home. My parents are in their room and tell me that there's some Chinese food in the kitchen. I go to my room, and my sister is there listening to music and dancing, which apparently she has been doing all day and is showing no signs of stopping even though it's pretty late now.
feburary 22
I'm at the grocery store and its my turn. Even though the cashier is there, I have to run everything I'm buying over the sensor myself. It's difficult because the belt is moving, and a lot of stuff isn't scanning right. I'm buying an awful lot of cheese. I'm worried about having enough money on my card, and I think that if I use it as a credit card, it won't go through for a few days, and I'll have that time to put some money in my account. I'm working at this company, but as a spy, not as a real employee. Someone finds out so I'm having this meeting with the boss (old guy) and another employee (younger guy). The boss has some plastic case that belonged to another spy who can't be found, and he can't get the case open. I manage to open it up and there are a bunch of papers inside. I close it back up and tell the boss that if they give me some information I'll show them how to open that case. My dad comes back from the store and he's bought my mom this really cool 3-pack of lip glosses. One of them is raspberry. I decide that I want some for myself so I'm getting ready to go to the store but the doorbell rings. The dogs don't start barking, luckily, so I sneak to the door and look out. My grandparents are just pulling up in the driveway in a big white van. They come in to visit and we all end up sitting outside, right next to the entrance of this nearby neighborhood. My brother comes out of the house and he's barefoot, and he goes into the neighborhood for a walk. There are these two women in sunglasses, also going for a walk, fairly close behind him. My brother turns around and yells at my dad and the women get all freaked out. I'm back in high school and in gym class. We're playing volleyball. There seems to be some rule that if you make the ball hit someone else, then everyone on both teams has to drop to the floor. Everyone obviously knows this except for me and this girl who accidentally hits someone else. The class ends and Dana says to me that she's sad about nobody calling her for her birthday. I remind her that her birthday isn't for several months and we both start laughing like crazy and I say, "You are so dumb!" I'm back in elementary school, in the fifth grade. Our class is sitting on these bleachers in a gym, way at the top. We have to actually stand on the highest row, with our backs against the wall. I'm with Dana and Beth, and Beth and I are seriously freaked out, so we decide we want to leave. We tell the teacher that we are about to be sick and run off to the bathroom. She comes in a few minutes later to see how we are and we tell her that Beth has thrown up. The teacher leaves. The three of us are trying to figure out a way to go home even though we can't. Dana suggests that instead of waiting at the usual place for our parents to pick us up, then we should go to the other side of the school, over by the kindergarten building. We've accidentally left our backpacks out in the grass right behind our classroom, and we have to either crawl on our hands and knees on the cement or slide over the grass to get it. Our backpacks have turned into a small football, a small soccerball, and the third one is something else. We end up getting caught.
unknown
I'm back in junior high but I'm my regular age, and so is everyone else there. There is one girl that pretty much everyone (or at least the popular people) hate and they have some kind of conspiracy against her. They don't like me either but don't try to do anything. The girl is freaked out about this picture she has. It's a square, smallish (maybe 10" by 10") version of some painting. At regular times, it's this painting of the Virgin Mary, done mostly in blue colors. Sometimes it changes to this really scary picture of Bloody Mary, done mostly in reds. The girl and I are the only ones who can see it.
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