January 2005
january 5
I'm going to be getting married in three days (a Sunday?). I meet with these two wedding planners, and I'm talking about all of this different stuff I want. I'm wearing a red dress. It's the day of the wedding and now I'm in a normal white dress. We're living at the old house and setting up for the wedding in the backyard. There's a bunch of stuff on the lawn we have to move before putting in the benches for people to sit, and I think about helping but I'm wearing these black sandals and I don't want to get my feet wet so I don't. One of my aunts shows up really early and gives me a check for $199. She asks me if I've talked to Maria lately and I say that I have. I'm thinking about it and I realize that I haven't told either her or Dana about my getting married, and how they're probably not going to believe me even if they see my ring. On the picnic table outside are these two ears of corn wrapped up in foil. They are the normal width but they have to be between two and three feet long. I eat all of one by myself and though I know I shouldn't, I start nibbling at the other.
january 8
I'm sleeping over at my godmother's house, and the room I'm in looks almost exactly like my bedroom. Pepé is with me, and so is a little dog that belongs to my godmother. My sister is also staying over and it's as if we share a bedroom again. It's dark, the middle of the night, and she keeps getting up and walking around. Finally I ask her if she wants to switch beds and she says yes. I go over to her bed and it's really small. It's only about two feet wide, and not very long - it has these weird elastic cords around the edges so you have to slip in from the foot of the bed, and you have to kind of kneel on the ground. I know there's no way I'm going to get comfortable and I look over by the door, where the real bed is, so I go there. I can't fall asleep, though, because it's starting to get light outside and the TV is on (set to music videos). Later I'm telling my mom about it and she says my sister needs a new bed. I say she should just give her a sleeping bag, and if she puts some kind of cushion on the floor under it she'd be comfortable. I go to the mall in Concord with a group of people, Lynn and Debra among them. We have to walk up a flight of plain stairs, turn a corner, and then walk down to the main area of the mall. Some of the group takes the stairs, but Lynn and I go down the escalator. It's soaking wet and I almost slip. I wonder if it's possible to be electrocuted that way. When I get to the bottom (almost falling again), the whole group meets at the front desk and complains about the escalator. The woman there gives us some coupons and we don't think that's enough, so this guy comes and gives us each a few free CD's and things. I'm going to put mine away and I realize I don't have my purse. I start panicking but Debra says she has it. She has everyone's purse and hands them out. I almost take the wrong one (this cute pink one) because I don't recognize mine (a puffy black one). One of the CD's I got is by a group called The Gummi Bears, and the cover is a blue sky with some gummi bears on it. Debra says it doesn't look very good. We're in a store looking at DVD's and things, and I find one for a Canadian TV show similar to Degrassi:TNG. This one has the guy who plays JT on Degrassi as the main character. I'm at home after the mall trip, and looking through my things. I realize all of the CD's I was given are used, and one of them is actually a boxed set of records. I'm looking through the box and find some things, letters and papers and pictures, that belonged to the boy who owned these records before. I start reading the letters. Most of them are to and from this girl he had a crush on, but she wasn't supposed to be talking to him because he was a neo-Nazi and planning to do something bad at their school. In some of their letters they're talking about "American History X" and Edward Furlong. I find a bunch of pictures printed out from a computer. Most of them are really tiny and they're pictures of random people's faces, some celebrity stills, and there is some porn (mostly straight, but some gay). I find some naked pictures of a girl who looks really young and I get freaked out and don't know what to do, so I start looking through the letters again to find out who this guy is. It changes to I'm in their class, and this woman has come to take all of our fingerprints because of the bad thing that happened. I'm in and out of being the girl he likes. The fingerprinting is hard to do - we each have to dip our fingers on this weird sponge. The ink looks clear on your fingers, but when you press it on to something (we have to use paper plates), it's all different colors and really thick like paint. When I get to my right hand, the fingerprints finally start coming out good quality. When I go to print my right pinky, though, I can't get a print at all. I'm at home and it's Thanksgiving. It's pretty early and everyone is still there, but my grandma says she's already cleaned up a little so she's going to go home, and asks me to save her a turkey leg.
dreams menu