April 2005
unknown
I'm driving on the Bay Bridge with my parents, but it looks more like the Caldecott tunnel. Something goes wrong and everyone has to get out of their cars and walk. There's this one older woman who has tripped and is lying on the ground, crying and carrying on. I help her up and tell her to stop making such a big deal out of it, that there are going to be people who need more help than she does.
unknown
I'm talking with Stephen King in his office, asking him all these questions about writing and other things. He's showing me something on his computer. Someone else comes in and is asking what I think are dumb questions, so I tell them to leave.
april 24
I'm in Pittsburg at night, driving around after work. I pick up some Chinese food for my dinner and then drive over to my grandmother's house. My parents are there, and so is Rose. My mom tells me it was rude to only pick up food for myself. I tell her I bought the food - some ribs and some rice - as appetizers for everyone. I'm somewhere trying to do something, and I get frustrated, and drive off, up to this toll booth. I have this little gun and load some bullets inside. The bullets look like the tips of black Crayola crayons. I tell the person behind the screen at the tollbooth that I have a gun and I'll shoot myself, and I'm hoping they don't have a gun and shoot me. They tell me I have to wait awhile and so I do. It changes to where I'm standing on the porch of this huge building that looks like a regular house in the front. It's a military school, and soon a bunch of students come marching along and singing. Most of them are not wearing uniforms. The guys all seem pretty interested in my being there even though there are other girls at the school. I eat a mint and put on more lipstick, trying to look cute. I'm finally let in and even though the metal detector goes off, no one says anything. The woman who's going to show me around comes up and I ask her politely if she wants me to give her my gun. I hold it up in the air, hoping to get everyone's attention. She says yes and takes it as if it's no big deal. She asks me if I have pictures of my family to look at while I stay there, and I say yes. She takes me to the library to meet my roommate. The roommate is really snobby-looking, as is another girl sitting across from her at the table. There's another girl sitting at the table who is bad, and everyone calls her "CC." The second snobby girl says something rude about me and I lunge over the table at her, but CC pulls me back and says she's going to carve her initials in me, since that's what she said she was going to do with the next person she got in a fight with. I manage to turn her around and I carve "CC" twice on her back through her shirt, the blood soaking through to show the letters. It's days later and I'm walking down the street, and I think I hear someone whispering to me. I stop near a tree and say, "If you're behind there, CC, you better just come out so we can get on with it." A boy walking by says she's not there. I continue walking, thinking about CC and how one of us is going to end up killing the other, and I don't care who. I find a book on the ground and pick it up, looking through. It is in pretty good condition except for a sticky spot on the back, from where the price tag was. It's much later again, and I have a different roommate. She's always wearing this like straw hat that has a fake flower pinned to it. We are more than friends, but not really like lovers because I don't really like her and I'm just using her. She's afraid of me. She's telling me that she has to leave that weekend to go visit her mother so she can get more money. I don't want her to go, but there's no other way to get the money so I say okay. I'm lying on our bed (it's big, with a canopy), trying to think of a way to get her slip and her bra away from her because she never washes them.
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