April 2006
april 3
I'm driving somewhere at night out on these country-looking roads, and I end up behind this car that doesn't have its headlights on. Finally I flash my high beams at it. I can see the driver in her rearview mirror, this blond girl about my age. She gives me a thumbs up sign. The both of us end up stopping in this neighborhood and talking, and she asks if I want to go to her house and I say okay. She leads me to it - it's yellow and white and small, and I realize that I know the people who used to live there. I'm talking to the blond girl about it and she says she was related to them. We go inside all quiet and realize they are still living there. The girl's cousin is freaking out and is screaming and hitting at me, and the blond girl and I figure out that the cousin is upset because she was assaulted by one of her teachers who was later fired.
april 6
It's night and I'm getting ready to go to writer's club. My mom and brother are gone. I go outside to put something in the car, and a cop who lives across the street comes over to talk to me. He is older, blond and very handsome. He says that I need to get my (green) driver's door painted the same color as the rest of the car or he's going to write me a ticket. He also says that my radio isn't "regulation sized" and shows me a diagram of what it should look like. He tells me I can't drive anywhere until I fix the paint and the radio, and I say, "That doesn't even make any sense. Am I supposed to paint it myself?" I go back inside, planning to drive away when he isn't looking but he's hanging around the street. My mom and brother get back and I tell them about what the cop said.
april 7
I've been out and I come back to my house in the late afternoon. Dana calls my cell phone and is talking to me about going somewhere, but she has to hang up and tells me to call her back in exactly five minutes. I look at the clock and it's 4:50 so I think "Okay, I'll call her right back at 4:55." I'm getting ready to go out again, though, and so decide to let ten minutes go by. Dana and another friend of hers come by my house, annoyed that I didn't call her back when I was supposed to. They're completely ready to go and I say "I just have to put on lipstick and my shoes." I realize I am already wearing shoes so I run to put on lipstick, but my mirror is missing so I have to use the tiny one on the lipstick itself. I'm going through my purse because it's so heavy, and take out lotion and other stuff to leave behind. Dana is practically screaming about me taking so long, and we leave. We go to some kind of show in this huge, crowded auditorium. Now I'm wearing this pink sequinned dress with spaghetti straps. There's a trapdoor in the very back row where we're sitting, and I decide to leave the auditorium that way instead of fighting the crowd at the door. I barely squeeze out through the trapdoor, and some guys sitting nearby and some guy from the Army are staring at me because I am pretty much falling out of my dress. I stand up, fix my dress and go on into this back room which is a little cafe. There is only one available seat in the corner, next to this cute and kinda geeky guy. I climb on top of the table to get to the seat. I start rubbing my leg against the guy's leg and realize I need to shave, so I leave the cafe and go into the guy's house which is attached to the place and ask his maid if they have a new, unused razor I can use. We go upstairs into the parents bathroom and the only ones available are these freaky, half-moon shaped razors. I'm going to be marrying the cute guy so someone gives me his razor to use.
april 9
It's my birthday and I've been out all day. I go home and I'm trying to check the messages on my cell phone - I have 11 - but the reception keeps going out and messing up.
april 10
I'm shopping in downtown Antioch, and there's only one store open. It's kind of a warehouse looking place with a lot of junk. Someone asks the owner, a woman, where she's keeping her cardboard cutout of Paula Abdul and the woman says she's put it away for her (Paula Abdul's) birthday. In the store, there's access to the back entrances of a bunch of different stores. On each door in red chalk is written the name of the store and the things they sell, so I'm reading them all and making a list of which I want to go to later. Looking at the stuff in the store, I find a red purse I like. I find a rosary that has a little mask at the end instead of a cross. There's a store I want to go later and I can't remember the name - I keep thinking Modiste but I know that isn't right - so I start looking through the phone book to find it that way, and finally remember that the store is named Enlitened.
april 11
We're living at the old house and I'm getting out of the shower. I look into the backyard from the window, and all the grass is dried up and yellow. There's an old man and woman walking there in black funeral-type clothes. I wonder why the dogs aren't barking, and look into my parents room to see the puppies hiding under the blankets. There's a woman at the front door asking for help, and she holds up a bloody cat that looks as if it's been run over. I don't know if it's hers or one she ran over. She's asking to be let in and I tell her I can't do that (I'm wearing only a towel, still) and offer to bring her the phone and whatever else she needs. Pepe gets out onto the porch and I warn the woman that he's not friendly, but she pets him and he only growls a little bit. I go into my bedroom to get my cell phone, and there are two of them on top of the dresser. They are black, have lots of buttons and look like Blackberry's. I figure out which one is mine by looking at the text messages, and take that to the woman along with a notebook, three pens and the phone book. My sister wants one of the pen so I give them to her. I pass the stuff to the woman through the mailbox slot. She asks me if I want to see what her cell phone looks like, I say "Sure" and she passes me a paper bowl. There are red and silver sparkles there in the perfect outline of a cell phone. I get dressed and look into the backyard, and see there's even more people having a party. A young boy comes to the window and I ask him who he is, and I figure out that his dad is either my uncle or great uncle. I go out with my mom and grandma, and we stop somewhere (at a yard sale?) and get out of the car. When it's time to get back in, only the two of them do, go to the corner and make a U-turn to park on the other side of the street. My dad is there and asks me why they did that, and I say I don't know. If I want to go with them I have to run across the street but I'm having a hard time moving my legs. There are two guys running towards us so we jump into the car and lock the doors just as they reach us, and pound on the windows.
april 12
I go to see some band, and it's a really small venue. The audience is a group of probably 30 or 40 people and I'm up front. The band is heavy metal sounding, and the lead singer is bald with a French accent. During the song they keep making these motions like slitting someone's throat, and everyone in the audience (except me) is dancing along and doing the same. I think the band is stupid and I know they're filming a video right now so I go find a place to sit down. When the show is over everyone is sitting around asking the band questions. There are two girls in the audience who have been arguing all night and they decide to have it out. They get up to go outside, as well as one of the girl's friends. I follow them outside to this big field of dry grass. I catch one of the girls, who is taking out a gun, and ask her if it's worth it to get in trouble. She hands me the gun to make me shoot the other girl and I say I won't. She points the gun at me and I say if she's going to shoot me she might as well go ahead. She shoots at me but misses purposely and everyone laughs while I run away. I end up in this kind of obstacle course, and the first part is running around the edge of this huge oval swimming pool. After that I have to jump over or crawl under a bunch of tables that different people are working at. When I get to the end, I'm talking to this older woman who is mean at first but then starts asking me for advice about random things (she's pregnant?). We sit on these dusty black chairs covered in animal hair. I'm in high school and I go to math class. It's the first day of class after a break. These two guys who come in the same time as I do make a big deal about sitting with each other instead of me because they're "buddies." Our first assignment is this color-by-numbers thing, with very hard math questions. I'm searching through my backpack because I don't think I have anything to color with. All I have are a green pen and a red pen. The teacher comes by and praises me for doing a good job. One of the boys in a desk near me is coloring using a blue market and he says he wants it to look smooth. The color-by-numbers is a picture of someone who is supposed to be the principal, and it lists the category as "People you don't want to see."
april 13
It's morning and I have writer's club, but first I have to drive out to Pittsburg so some guy can pick up these plants my dad wants. I run into Amanda and Henrietta and they come with us. All the guy gets are four small leaves, similar to mint leaves, and I don't think that's right but I just shrug since I'm running late. Amanda and Henrietta are coming back to my house with me, and we stop off at a little gas station mart to get some drinks. We're back at my house and Amanda is napping, and Henrietta is under the bed. I realize I'm late for the writer's club meeting and decide I probably won't go.
april 15
One of my great-grandparents is in the hospital and my mom has taken charge of everything. I'm at the hospital with my brother, and Michelle and Maria are there. Michelle has received a voicemail message from my mom and repeats it for the rest of us, which is just that my mom is "pulling rank" and everyone has to do whatever she says. I repeat this to my brother because I think he won't listen. It's later and I've been at work. I can't park in front of the house because there are a bunch of news vans and media people in front of it. I park down the street in front of someone else's house. It's raining outside. When I first get out of the car, I leave it running with all the doors open so I can go onto the sidewalk and check that all the news people are leaving. When they have, I reach into the car to turn it off, close it up, and go to my house. My grandparents are in the kitchen telling my brother to do something and he tells them to "get off his back" and I yell at him, and he goes upstairs. I'm at the airport, having arrived back from a trip with Michelle, Maria, and possibly Rose. We have to go down several sets of stairs and escalators to get to the main floor. We'd all just had carry-on luggage, but it still has to come through on the conveyor belt. By the time I get there, there are three black backpacks left and I'm not sure which is mine, so I have to look through each of them until I figure it out. We have to do some checkout security procedure, and get in this line that's taking forever. I fall asleep and have a dream that I'm sitting there in the airport, and Jesus and a group of people come up to me. Everyone with him is dressed in normal (modern) clothes. Jesus is wearing a red hockey jersey. He tells me that he'll be my friend, and hugs me. The hug makes me feel very warm inside. He starts telling me "Wake up" over and over, and I wake up back into the regular airport. It's later and I'm writing down my dream for my mom to read, and keep taking the paper back from her so I can write down the details (such as, Jesus wearing a hockey jersey).
april 17
It's night and I'm walking in either San Francisco or Berkeley with Maria and Dana. We're passing by a bus stop (it's just a blue bench) and Rose is there. We run up to each other and hug. The four of us are walking and I'm talking about what I want to do for my birthday dinner, and I say that I want to invite Henrietta. Maria gets upset and starts talking about how much she hates Henrietta. Dana tells her that she can't decide who's there on my birthday. I tell Maria, "I didn't know you didn't like her" and change the subject because it's embarrassing. Rose is suddenly sick and keeps throwing up on the street as we're walking.
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