April 2007
april 6
It's New Years Eve and I'm hanging out with Maria at Chili's. It's empty except for two workers at the bar. It's time to leave, and she asks if I want to drive through Oakley to get home. I say okay and we walk outside. To get to the car, we have to walk through a tunnel or underpass. It's completely dark but we can see someone walking from the opposite direction, and we change our mind about leaving. we go back to the restaurant and sit at the bar. One of the bartenders brings me a banana daiquiri and says the two of us must be the girls from the group of four with reservations. Just then, that group comes in, and I apologize for having one of their drinks. One of the guys is someone Maria knows, and we ask him to walk us to the car. As we're going outside I take out a knife and say, "For extra insurance." Now we have a baby (2 or 3 years old) and we keep passing her back and forth between us. It's six A.M. and light outside, and there's a big crowd of people having a "Cutest Dog" competition. I'm holding the baby's hand while she walks around, and I'm trying to keep her interested by pointing to other babies and young kids in the crowd. Jennifer and Rose are visiting, and we're hanging out at the old house along with Dana, Maria and Beth. The porch is huge, and there's a TV we're watching. Everyone is wearing only bras and underwear. Beth's mom comes outside and says we shouldn't be dressed like that, but we say there's no one else outside anyway. Jennifer and Rose need to go to the hardware store, so we all get dressed. Everyone else's clothes are outside, but I have to go to my room. I say "I'll be right out" and run inside. I put on my magenta heart shirt, some sweat pants and shoes, but when I get outside they're already gone. I look at the time and it's 12:47. My dad says, "They've been at the casino since nine." I'm annoyed and say, "I know."
april 17
It's very early in the morning and I'm the only one awake. This creepy blond kid (18 or 19) gets in the house and is going to rape and kill me. He warns me not to scream, or he'll kill everyone. He puts on these green rubber/latex gloves. His plan is to rape me with a plastic bag over my head so I'll die from suffocation. My brother comes downstairs but we're not able to do anything. It's about 6:45 and I hear my dad in his shower upstairs, and I'm trying to stall for time. I ask the blond guy if I can type up a letter that can be read on the news later, apologizing to my parents for letting the guy in the house somehow, and he says okay. We get into a fight and I end up stabbing him in the heart after slashing his face several times. I'm hanging with Dana, Anne, Peter and George. Anne keeps flirting with George, which annoys but doesn't surprise me. We decide to go somewhere, and on our way to the car (we're parked in a field at the fairgrounds) we see some cut-up pieces of a horse. The car is a big, old fashioned one, maybe a Plymouth from the 30s or 40s. Peter gets in the driver's seat, Dana is behind the passenger seat and George is to her left, in the middle seat. I ask Anne if she wants to sit up front or in the back, but don't give her a chance to answer, and sit next to George myself. Anne ends up sitting on Dana's other side. We go to my house and read some Craigslist blogs while one of the "Star Wars" movies plays on TV.
april 20
I had a friend who was moving away, and Rose and I were supposed to be writing her letters to hide in her trunk, but kept getting distracted. We were hanging out in a shopping center that looked a lot like Century Plaza, and Rose says that Ed is working at a restaurant there, and do I want to go see him. I do, so we go in. He's practically right inside the door, and looks really cute. Rose is pretending that she'd applied to work there but wasn't hired because the managers thought she was crazy. And she starts acting crazy, hopping around like a bunny and saying weird things. Ed won't let her talk to the manager, and clearly doesn't recognize me, so I tell him I'll give Rose her medicine ("Happy Thorazine") and she and I leave the restaurant laughing.
april 21
Dana writes a MySpace blog about a girl she had a crush on ("fell hard for," in her words) in high school, and I post a comment telling her that I never knew that, and that I was glad she shared. It then inspired me to write a long, detailed post about my own sexual orientation.
april 24
It's Thursday evening and I'm driving the van around the neighborhood. I park a couple houses down when I see one of the women from my writer's club walking over from across the street. She asks if I can drive her to the meeting at Katie's (?) house and I say sure, then ask where Katie lives. She says Sacramento, so I change my mind and say I'll tag along with whoever she gets a ride from, if there's room. I'm a hostage of this weird family that has government agents working for them. The mother of the family is huge, at least 400 pounds, and she keeps picking on me. At one point she tries to crush me on the floor, then leaves me alone with the agents. I ask them to help me get away. One of the agents, a man, seems sympathetic, but his female partner won't hear of it.
april 25
I'm at a high school reunion, being held in a plain room that looks a lot like the Social Security office, especially because of the way chairs are set up in rows. I'm walking down the aisle with a blanket wrapped around me, and go over to a whiteboard where an old friend is writing stuff with a red marker. He's making a list for Michael, who I see sitting nearby but pretend not to. I'm on the list twice - once under "Impossible Infatuations" which meant people who liked each other but would never be able to make it work out, and once under a list of people he (Michael) really wanted to see. It's later and I'm at home, and Michael is there. We hug for a long time and talk for awhile. His dad, who has white hair and is wearing a gray business suit, is also there sitting on the couch. I go into my room and by the time I come back out they've already left. Michael calls me on the phone and we talk while I look at his website. At the same time, he faxes me three science fiction book catalogs, once of which includes a short story he wrote under a pen name. After a while we don't really talk, but neither of us want to hang up.
april 26
I wanted to go to the mall in Concord, and was trying to figure out how to get there by bus. I thought I'd have to take a "city bus" but was told by a bus driver that I could take the senior citizen bus that was going there anyway. The bus was a double-decker, but the decks were side-by-side instead of one on top of the other. One was slightly higher, and I go up there to sit. I find a group of high school girls that I sit with. I'm at home and I've found a really easy way to make jam. I stir some strawberry stuff in a small pot on the stove then pour it into a jar. I'm excited, and making a mental list of other fruits to try the recipe with, including blueberries and grapes. I'm driving on the bypass and I'm behind a yellow Hummer that is driving erratically, and ends up flipping over.
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