I'm no good at resisting temptation. This past week, I have fallen off the caffeine wagon* and also bought three new notebooks at Target, despite my vast collection of journals that have yet to be written in. I couldn't help it, they were too cute! Bright colors with paisley and polka dots... I'm only human.

*I blame this one everyone but myself. I got to the office just before nine and nobody was there. Not having a key or an alarm code, I couldn't do anything but wait. I sat in my car (it's so cold in the mornings right now!) for about fifteen minutes and thought, "Hell, I'm getting Starbucks, and when I get back, somebody better be here." So I went, and got an iced chai, and drank it like I was dying of thirst. Oh man, was it good.

Of course, nobody was there when I got back to the office. I'd been waiting in the car again for about ten minutes when UPS came with a delivery. We (almost) always have the same guy who knows me, so I accepted the stuff and thought, "Hey, since I'm now in possession of (whatever), I'm on the clock, right?" Although I did finally call my boss on his cell and was all, "Yo, where you at?" Or something to that effect. He got to the office fifteen minutes later, we went in, and I was promptly bombarded with assignments that were either boring or annoying. Or both. Who invented this "job" concept anyway?

To rewind a bit: LT and I didn't have time on Monday to make a matinee of "Meet the Spartans," so instead we just had Uno's and then went to Target. Oh my god, I think it was one of the best cheeseburgers I've had in my life! Cooked perfectly and all juicy... mmm, meat. And Target was where I lusted after and immediately acquired the cute notebooks. Hey, at least they were cheap.

Man, it's like I blinked and January is over! It's definitely been a weird month, and year, but I intend to make it my bitch instead of the other way around. One thing I seriously need to do is just get out more often. I'm not as bad of a hermit as I used to be, and though I still need more "alone" time than what other people seem to need, I'm just not as satisfied with my own company as I once was.

I do have some social engagements on the horizon. A few people from my movie group and I are trying to get it together to see "The Eye" this weekend (creepy stuff? Jessica Alba? I'm down). Next week there's a poetry reading that DM and her sister and I are going to together. Sometime the week after that, I'm taking JH to sushi for her birthday present (nevermind the fact that her birthday was almost two months ago, heh). And so on.

I finally sent back the movies from Netflix that I had for like, three weeks ("Letters from Iwo Jima" and "Sicko") and got the next two on my queue: "Brotherhood" season one, disc one for my mom, and "First Snow" because I am still determined to see every movie that William Fichtner is in. In fact, he's probably the only reason I haven't cancelled Netflix - yet. I might do it after I watch "The Amateurs" which comes out in just a couple weeks now.

TV junk: Are the auditions for this season of "American Idol" ever going to be over? Because every time I watch it, I feel just a little bit worse about myself. Kinda like it's sucking out my soul and/or brain. Why is Paula Abdul always drunk? At least Simon is still there, and a jerk, and hot.

Which for some reason reminds me (and you will probably consider this TMI): Regarding those bags of all-green M&M's that they're putting out for Valentine's Day? Don't need 'em. In fact, keep them away from me; it's already bad enough being single.

So I went out shopping yesterday like I thought I would, with a definite budget in mind - and actually stuck to it! First, I went to Michael's and, in between dodging old women with carts full of Valentine's Day junk, found a couple simple-but-nice frames. One I used for the sketch I bought at the antique shop last week, and the other frame for a signed poster (a Projekt Revolution poster signed by Brian Molko!) LS gave me awhile back.

At Best Buy I got three CD's (a major purchase for finicky me) for barely thirty bucks (that's what I'm talking about!) The Smashing Pumpkins "Zeitgeist" (haven't listened to it yet), Placebo's "Meds" (ditto) and The Silversun Pickups "Carnavas" (currently listening to, and liking a lot).

With official business out of the way, after that I just picked up some odds and ends; lipstick, snacks to keep at my desk at work*, and various drinks to amuse my palate now that I no longer partake of soda and chai. Laugh at me if you must, but I get incredibly sad when I see a frosty can of Dr. Pepper and can't have one.

*Working short days, I don't usually like to bother taking or buying a real lunch. I've been doing pretty good at having healthy stuff; fruit cups (okay, maybe not so healthy, being packed in sugary syrup and all) and granola bars and yogurt (bleh).

I was a good little webmaster this morning and finally added some new downloads. Any of you ever check those out? Yeah, I thought not.

I think I mentioned how crappily I slept Friday night; last night was much better. I was originally going to bed early, but stayed up until 11:00 to watch Paige Davis' first episode back on "Trading Spaces." I'm not sure why; she's got to be my second least favorite brunette (first least favorite being Darya Folsom). Doug Wilson was also on this episode, but he's gotten way too skinny for my taste. What's up with the Ichabod Crane look, Doug? Have a sandwich or two! (His hair is very gray now, though; me-ow).

So yeah - stayed up late, went to sleep, had a dream about... Christmas trees. Again. I used to have this spreadsheet with a long list of objects that appeared in my dreams, and when, and I had about a million different entries for Christmas trees. Anyway, there was also something about PD and I trying to explain to some dude about why Veruca Salt was one of the best bands of the 90s. Yeah, I'm a fan, but I'm not sure that's a claim I would make while conscious.

Lately I've been feeling, but mostly ignoring, this urge to bake. I never did get around to baking a bunch of goodies for/around Christmas; maybe for Valentine's Day? Or St. Patrick's Day, or Easter, whichever is when I have the most free time and motivation to do so. My parents got this King Arthur Flour cookbook the other day that I've totally yoinked, and am lusting over various cookie cutters and the like. I still haven't even used the rice flour I bought to make homemade shortbread cookies.

LT and I are possibly going to see "Meet the Spartans" tomorrow. I have been examining my usual movie snobbery lately, and decided I need to get over it. Not all movies should be brainy (or at least, my attention span in watching brainy movies is not what it once was). In that same vein, I might go with my movie club to see "Fool's Gold" in a couple weeks. If nothing else, the presence of Matthew McConaughey generally ensures a sighting of, well, a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. And who could object to that?

I didn't sleep too well last night. I just could not get comfortable for the life of me, and woke up at least five different times. Not fun.

I've quit caffeine/soda again. No more Dr. Pepper (sob!) and no more delicious iced chais from Starbucks to get my morning started. Besides craving the caffeine, I am already (today is only day three, heh) going crazy not having anything to drink other than water. I'm not wild about juice like I once was, and most of them are loaded with sugar anyway; and I can't find raspberry-peach Crystal Light anywhere.

Yesterday I bought lunch from this healthy food restaraunt: some "pesto pasta" (chomp!) and a chicken-walnut salad sandwich. Definitely the yummiest chicken salad I've ever had, because it had walnuts (obviously) and not too much mayo. It also had some spicy lettuce/greens on top that I couldn't identify but was delicious.

So Super Tuesday is coming up, and I am totally torn about who to vote for. My parents' main concern in choosing a candidate was, I think, about healthcare. As someone with no health insurance*, that's definitely important to me, but there are so many issues I'm concerned about that I'm just totally baffled. Basically, I just want someone who will do what I'd do if I were president (hey, it could happen) but be much better at it.

*I finally watched "Sicko" the other night, as I've had it from Netflix for like three weeks. It pretty much confirmed all my worst suspicions about the U.S. healthcare system. How can we be the greatest country in the world and still be so completely ridiculous about this?

To end on a typically superficial note: I'm having the worst shopping urge right now. The huge Bath and Body Works sale that I went to back in late December is ending this weekend, and while there is certainly nothing I need, I'm very tempted to go. Or I could go clothes shopping, now that I can wear normal clothes to work again. Or (I'm never going to be able to not think of something I want to buy) I could go to Best Buy and update my music collection like a good little fan. Or maybe I'll just stay home and get caught up on season two of "Life on Mars." Why does BBC America rule so much?

Some places, you leave, and when you get back, it's like you never left at all. This is pretty much my feeling about returning to my old office for a few months, in both the good and bad ways.

One project that I hope I'm done with: Calling various phone companies to cancel blah blah blah. For them, I shall hold my own awards (or, un-awards):

T-Mobile: Best "On Hold" Music (Billy Idol!) and Most Obnoxious Customer Service Rep (Chick who sounded just like Fran Drescher)

Verizon: The coveted "I Don't Know, I Just Work Here" award (In attempting to have a phone line cancelled, I think I talked to every department except janitorial)

AT&T: Grand Prize for Shortest "On Hold" Time, Easiest to Do Anything, and Most Pleasant Customer Service People

Anyway... to go ahead and make this page nothing but obituaries:




Heath Ledger dead at 28


No disrespect to anyone involved, but how in the world was Heath Ledger outlived by the likes of Lindsay Lohan or Amy Winehouse? The word "tragic" gets thrown around a lot, but I think this particular death might actually be worthy of it.

I love reading library books and finding pages where people folded a corner over to mark their place. Whenever I find books with lots of these, I like to stop at the same places someone else stopped, then pick it up again, and stop where they stopped again. It's kind of romantic.

I know, I know; you should use actual bookmarks in a library book, but that's so sterile. You can tell a book that's been loved by its creased pages, a broken spine, the way the front and/or back cover is falling off. I prefer a book that's been around the block.

Right now I am just a little over halfway through Martha O'Connor's "The Bitch Posse." God, whan an intense book! Definitely not just "chick lit." Though I might have an issue or two, I'm mostly "together" and really enjoy reading about girls/women who have seriously screwed up lives. Maybe I'm weird.

This is the third new book I've read so far this year. The first one I tackled, Arthur Neresian's Suicide Casanova, I was definitely disappointed with. An "edgy" plot (lawyer whose paralegal-turned-dominatrix wife dies in an S&M threesome, so he starts stalking a porn star-turned-social worker he once had a relationship with) and a rare, clever Chuck Palahniuk-esque turn of phrase does not save this book from being boring. It was a chore for me to finish reading it, and for me reading is all (or at least mostly) about pleasure. (Random: I bought this at a library sale because I liked the cover.)

My second book was June Flaum Singer's "The President's Women." I read and loved two of Singer's other novels ("The Debutantes," "The Movie Set") that my grandmother gave me a couple years ago, and am to read the rest of her novels. Her books are about the lives of the rich, famous and decadent, but show a far more twisted bent than Jackie Collins or even Jacqueline Susann. Imagine Susann collaborating with VC Andrews and you're pretty close. I'm not as crazy about "The President's Women" as I am the others, maybe because this one is told from the third person POV. Still, it was a nice, fluffy (if long) read.

So, my new-old job starts next week (though I am going in tomorrow for some stuff). Mostly we're waiting on a computer monitor from Dell, because the computer at my desk for some reason doesn't have one. Though I'll admit to missing the crazy-busyness of the restaraunt a little bit, I'm looking forward to having my own desk and comfy chair again. That, and being able to listen to streaming KWOD or Live 105 all day.

One thing I noticed about KWOD after not having listened for months: Their darling, "let's play at least one song by them every hour" Fall Out Boy, has apparently been replaced by Paramore. Truthfully, except for the girl singer, I'm not entirely sure they're two different bands.

In the "I rule!" category: Yesterday I bought this CD/DVD shelving unit from Target, and put it together myself! And this isn't like the super-simple one I got this year; this thing had all kinds of different screws and pegs and doohickeys, and it rotates. My last little shelf was so full of CD's that I literally couldn't remove any, and I had to keep most of my DVD's on my bookshelf. This one holds everything nicely with a little extra room. Which means I need to get to work on updating my music and movie collection(s), right?

I was thinking recently: I used to be the kind of fan who would go out and buy new releases from my fave bands the very day they were released. Now... it's just "Oh, I'll get around to it," kinda thing. I haven't bought the Smashing Pumpkins' latest yet; actually, I don't even have Billy Corgan's solo album. The high school me would be appalled.

I'm totally bummed!




Brad Renfro dead at 25


Sigh. Insert a trite spiel here about how tragic it is that someone so young and talented wasted their life on blah, blah and blah.

In unbad news, I've got a new job! Okay, it's actually an old job, but I didn't have it for a long time and now I've got it again. I was offered it last week, and at first said no, but after lots of tortured deliberations, I changed my mind and said yes. Luckily for my sanity (it's not the most exciting or fulfilling stuff, office work) everyone involved has agreed this is "temporary" - through the end of April, at least.

So that was my day. How was yours? Nobody's commented in a few posts (HINT).

I was awake way too early this morning (6:30ish). Note that I didn't say I was up too early; to no avail, I kept trying to convince myself that I could fall back asleep. Then the sun came up and I had no choice but to follow. Sigh.

I thought I might sleep in, too, because I stayed up late (midnight) finishing season 2 of "Brotherhood" with my mom. Season finale cliffhangers drive me nuts! This one didn't have quite the, um, impact of the season one finale, but it's still a doozy.

As I predicted, my Thursday was very nice. I impressed the employment agency people with my typing score - 102 net WPM. Every test I take there, they always have one word that trips me up: this time, it was meeting, which I kept typing as "metting" and having to backspace. Grr! After that I went by Starbucks to get my first caffeine jolt of the day, and then to writer's club. I finished reading what is probably the shortest short story I've ever written, at 4,098 words. As you probably know if you're a regular reader of the blog, I do tend to ramble on.

After the meeting, I went with two of the ladies to Burger King for lunch. I can't remember the last time I went to a BK, mostly because those commercials with "The King" freak me out. What can I say, he's scary! I had a combo meal with the spicy tendercrisp chicken sandwich, and my second caffeine of the day, a Dr. Pepper. Yummo.

I was home for a little while before going out again to meet up with DM at Barnes & Noble. I got another oversized caffeine product and we read several magazines, and in general had a hilarious time. MB stopped by for, like, ten minutes because she'd forgotten she had school that afternoon. What a bummer!

Yesterday, most popularly known as Saturday, was also mostly awesome. I went with my mom and sis to the library, and got so many lovely books to read. Including: Martha O'Connor's "The Bitch Posse" (recommended by JH), Donna Tartt's "The Little Friend" (I vaguely remember reading "The Secret History" and liking it, so I'll give this newer one a shot), John Fowles' "The Collector" (sounds creepy, I'm in), and "She's a Rebel: The History of Women in Rock & Roll" (hell yeah!).

For a real blast to the past, I also picked up the young adult novel "Are You in the House Alone?" by Richard Peck. This book, which I first read in elementary school, is about a high school girl who gets raped by her best friend's boyfriend. Naturally, he's from the most prominent family in their quaint New England town and also deeply disturbed. I was always reading age-inappropriate books for some reason, heh. That explains so much. But yeah, I like YA novels once in awhile as a kind of literary midnight snack; short, but satisfying.

Today... oh, who knows what I'll get up to today? The shopping addict in me is thinking of going to Mervyn's, mainly because that's the only store I have a credit card for. In more intellectual pursuits, I may try to actually work on this new idea for a novel that I have been wrestling with for a couple days. I know my track record in completing writing projects isn't the best, but I do believe anything is possible... if I just learn how to get rid of (or at least temporarily forget about)all the B.S. I let get in my way.

I'm sitting here thinking that I must have done something interesting in the first few days of my non-employment, yet I can't think of anything. Meh.

I haven't been a total hermit. I went to Raley's and Target yesterday, but didn't buy a whole lot. Today, I was back in the old office for... well, pretty much the same project I thought I had completed last week (boring story), and I'm going back in on Friday.

I'm going to have a pretty nice tomorrow, I think; I'm going in for a typing speed test in the morning, then writer's club, then I've got a nice break in which to job hunt before meeting up with DM for coffee. Or in my case, chai; I've been trying hard to give up caffeine in the new year, with little to no success. Can I help it that Dr. Pepper makes the world taste better? I think not. And after coffee, I'm going to get my eyebrows done for the first time in way-too-many months. They really don't look that bad, considering, but I'd like to look my absolute best if I'm going to be interviewing soon. Hopefully very soon.

Yesterday, I also stopped by the restaraunt to pick up my last check and a letter of recommendation they wrote for me, which was nice. It's not very long, but what it lacks in wordiness it makes up for in flattery. I think I've finally come to the "acceptance" stage of getting fired (first stage being humiliation, second being incredibly pissed, third being weirdly amused).

One thing I'm still incredibly pissed about: When coming home this afternoon, I stopped by the 7-Eleven for my guilty pleasures of jalapeno-cream cheese tacquitos, and rosemary/garlic/olive oil Terra Chips. I purchased said items and rushed home to devour them. After zapping the tacquitos in the microwave, I went to pour some chips on the plate and realized... the bag was already open! As in, not by me! Not completely open, because I would have noticed that, but enough for me to throw the bag away untouched. Sob! I guess I could have gone back, but that would have involved a 20-minute (at least) drive back to the store. And another 20-minute (at least) drive back home. Grr.

I'm so impatient for "Prison Break" to start again on Monday! I need something vaguely trashy to balance out my brainy Sunday night ("The Wire"). I hate to admit it, but I'm partly glad that McNulty (Dominic West) is drinking again, because a drunk McNulty is a Slutty McNutty (best nickname ever), and a Slutty McNutty is a naked McNulty. Am I right?

To further opine on attractive cast members on "The Wire," today's HBO "Buzz" blog has a picture of Sonja Sohn with her daughters. Good lord, she looks nowhere near old enough to have tweens! Who knew Detective Greggs was a MILF? Ha!

Songs I downloaded from Amazon tonight:

The Living End "Prisoner of Society"
Blue October "Into the Ocean"
Buckcherry "Lit Up" and "Crazy Bitch"
Stereo MC's "Connected"
Tracy Bonham "Mother Mother"
The Toadies "Possum Kingdom"
Ben Harper "Diamonds on the Inside"
Jill Sobule "I Kissed a Girl" and "Supermodel"

In other news, I have already begun the job-hunting process in earnest. I sent out my first cover letter and resume since August... feels like a lot longer than that, but happily I think my letter-writing skills are not a bit rusty. Ah, if only I could say the same for my neglected (not for long!) fiction.

This isn't quite the "first post of the year" I was intending to write... long story short*, I was fired from my job today. No fun for anybody involved, but especially me. Though my employment history isn't as complete as it should be, before today I could at least say that I'd never been fired from a job. Well, I can't say that anymore.

*I keep saying that, yet the story somehow gets longer each time I talk/write about it. Go figure.

But enough moping (I'll have plenty of time for that later apparently), I had a very enjoyable New Year's Eve. JH and her man had a party at his place, and after some misadventures in trying to find it (you know what I need to buy for myself? A GPS), I... well, found it, and had a great time! There was yummy food, amusing people, and so much great music that I haven't heard in forever.

On New Year's Day, I had a nice and cozy day with the fam. It was super-cold and we stayed in (duh) and watched some of "The Job," which my parents got me in Christmas 2006 and I hadn't watched yet... oops. I forgot how funny that show was, but in a much more light-hearted way than "Rescue Me." Funny: The chicks who played Hilary and the original mom/aunt on "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" are both on "The Job." So, it was kind of like a hilarious crossover of Fresh Prince and Rescue Me, if you can imagine such a thing.

That evening, LT and I went and had snacks at Uno's. Well, it was going to be snacks or dessert originally, but we were both hungry and ordered actual meals. I had this chicken breast topped with gorgonzola cheese and tomatoes... so good! For some reason, I have been all about meals that are "some kind of meat" plus "some kind of cheese." Yum. I also had this Malibu Breeze cocktail that was all pink and pretty, and I couldn't even taste the alcohol (coconut rum) in it; dangerous and delicious stuff, mmm.

Wednesday, I went into the old office to do a dull but easy database project. They have some stuff for me to do at least one day next week, too, which I'm sure my wallet** will appreciate.

**I almost said pocketbook, even though I'm not sure whether the word means purse or wallet. Judge Judy says it all the time, but she uses it for "purse" where I think it must mean wallet. I mean, you can't fit a purse in your pocket! Or can you?

Yesterday, I went out in the early afternoon to fill up my car before the big storm*** and to get some groceries. I was very good and bought nothing frozen, only fresh food to make a couple meals/snacks. Stuff for bruschetta, which I'm going to make tonight (chomp!) and stuff for this warm spinach salad I do. I guess I must have had a premonition that I'll only be cooking at home from now on...

In the evening, I went to writer's club (where I have again started something new without finishing the previous story; my bad) and came back for appetizers and to watch "Live Free or Die Hard" with my parents. That movie is so good! (And by good, I mean in the ridiculous, almost-unbelieveable way that "Prison Break" is good.) And Timothy Olyphant is so hot. Anyway.

***I was skeptical, but it has been quite ugly outside. No thunder or lightning that I know of, but I don't think the rain has stopped once since it started last night, and it ain't just sprinkling either. I went for an hour-long drive to clear my head after my rather abrupt morning - maybe not the wisest idea, gas prices being what they are - and Betsy the Superjeep got nice and dirty. Surprisingly, the majority of other drivers on the road were behaving themselves... with the exception of this one creep who I guess was late on his way to the Indy 500 or whatever.

Tomorrow is my first free Saturday since early October, and I'm going to... well, probably not do a damn thing. I figure that'll be pretty sweet.