I actually screamed last night while watching the latest episode of "The Wire," and then sat in stunned shock for the rest of the episode. I'd ask "Who's next?" but I'm afraid to find out! I can't believe there are only two more episodes left of the Best Show Ever.





On Saturday, I got the stuff I ordered from that New Age-y book club. My new Tarot cards are gorgeous (pictures next post, maybe), and the Celtic Messages cards are neat-o and also gorgeous. So far, I've been having the most fun with the Karma Cards even though it is often way over my head. These cards can give you either an outcome/result answer, or an advice/action thing, and the latter is pretty awesome while the former is often unintelligible (at least to me, and I'm not stupid. Well, usually not).

At work, we're going to begin searching for my replacement now instead of waiting until April. Not because they're eager to get rid of me, you understand, but because my boss needs a person who's more like a personal assistant, and... that ain't me. It's nothing personal against him; I wouldn't want to be Johnny Depp's personal assistant if he moved into town (okay, maybe I would for Johnny Depp, but let's not go off into that tangent). I'm not going to be out the door as soon as we find the new person, anyway; I'm going to be doing most of their training, and as the boss says, there's always some project that I could dig into while searching for my own new thing.

Dorky story: Today, I got to arrange a conference call between my boss and a woman named... Yvonne! It's so bizarre to call someone else by my name. "Hi Yvonne, it's Yvonne from so-and-so's office!" I felt silly. I don't mind feeling silly as long as I don't feel stupid.

I was just leaving the office this morning to do the weekly grocery shopping when my mom called to tell me that Betsy the SuperJeep had been found and was, happily, still very driveable. I was so relieved that I didn't stop grinning for about twenty minutes.

The police found it parked on a corner near a grocery store, and no clue about who did it. They're some interesting thieves; they took out everything in the center console (fast-food napkins and a CD of Spanish music that would never play), my reuseable Target bag that I kept in the back, and everything in the glove compartment except for an old registration card and insurance card. Now I've got to get a replacement one from the DMV for... $17? I object. But that's nothing compared to the cost of getting, you know, another car.

Oh, and I have to get a new stereo. They didn't take the whole thing - only the faceplate (?) but it won't work without it. It wasn't a very good one, anyway; CD's were always getting stuck inside (the otherwise useless Spanish CD was good at prying them out).

Most outrageous, IMO: They smoked cigarettes in the car, and now Betsy smells like a musty ol' ashtray! How rude. My dad got the outside of the car washed already, but I'm taking it to get the inside cleaned tomorrow or Sunday.

All in all, a pretty damn good Friday. I got a few pizzas from Papa Murphy's for dinner, and while waiting (the place was seriously poppin' off) I walked down to Safeway for some snacks and drinks. I hate Safeway, mostly because of the way they try to make me get their club card. I shop at Safeway probably twice a year, and just don't want to deal with it. Today I had not only the cashier hassling me, but this old man in line behind me. "Once I saved thirty dollars with that card!" he said. Yeah, well, whatever.

Besides speaking too soon, I've also been putting my foot in my mouth way too often lately. One example from yesterday: My boss was in his office talking to someone on the phone, and pronounced my last name in a weird way. I said something about it to the secretary in what I thought was a quiet voice, but he heard me all right. At least he wasn't offended; it was actually all very hilarious, especially to the secretary. She was also very amused today when I called AT&T and talked to approximately five hundred different customer service reps and was disconnected twice. Life is too short to spend it on hold with phone companies.

I saw this ad in a local magazine that is full of nothing but advertisements, and it made me laugh. Do I have a dirty mind?





In less humorous news, I have officially given up on Betsy the SuperJeep (1993-2008) being found. Sniff. I guess if there's such a thing as an opportune time for my car to be stolen, this is it - I got both my state and federal tax refunds this week. I'm still going to have to borrow money from my parents, but I can probably find something used and not terrible without dying. I think.

Still, I'm pissed. I was going to spend that money on something fun, like a tattoo or makeover my bedroom or a vacation, mini or otherwise. Grr!

In the meantime, I've been driving my parents' minivan, which is... interesting. I managed to successfully maneuver it through two drive-thrus today without killing anyone, though I did go over a curb yesterday (my bad). Driving on bumpy roads feels pretty smooth, but I swear every time I make a turn the seatbelt locks up. Did I mention I hate turning (also reversing) in it? So basically if I'm driving foward in a straight line that's okay, hee.

I meant to go to bed early tonight but that somehow never happened. I am exhausted, no exaggeration. (Okay, maybe a little.) Tomorrow at the office we're supposed to be cleaning up, which I'm actually looking forward to because it's going to get me away from the paperwork that is sucking the life out of me. Oh, and the fluorescent (sp?) light right above my cubicle went out yesterday, so I've been working in dim lighting for the last day and a half.

This song makes me cry every time I watch "Mulholland Drive," and I almost lost it last night when they played it at the end of the "Prison Break" season finale. I'm silly.

I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to do an update for the last few days. Unsuccessfully because I have nothing of interest to talk about - yes, even more than usual!

No reports yet on the whereabouts of my car. Sniff. I was fairly optimistic at first, but now I'm more resigned to the distinct possibility that Betsy may be gone forever. Not fair, but:

1. Cliche #3, "Life's not fair"
2. Cliche #17, "It's only a car." Really, losing a car, while not ideal, is certainly way far down on the list of bad things that can happen to people. I much prefer my car having been stolen in the middle of the night to getting carjacked or being in a big wreck.

Still - I'm kinda hoping Betsy pulls a Christine on whoever snatched her away.

With our "leader" being out of town, I led our writer's group on Thursday. And by "group" I mean me and the one other guy who showed up. D'oh? Just as well, as I had nothing new to share.

I had a choice on Friday: Be at work for only awhile, or be there all day. Guess which one I chose, and your first guess doesn't count. I was only there for about an hour and forty-five minutes, and brought home a stack of stuff to work on. But hey, who really gets any quality work done on the Friday before a three-day weekend anyway? ...oh, you do? Workaholic.

Yesterday, I gave in to my reluctance to drive my parent's minivan and went to the grocery store. Bummer: I felt like a total soccer mom. Un-bummer: The stereo on that thing is kickin! I wanted to buy every cheese in the store, but restrained myself to a wedge of garlic jack and some havarti. I'm planning for these to be a part of an asparagus quiche. I always thought I hated asparagus until trying it at the restaraunt, and while it will never be my favorite, when done right it's quite tasty. I also bought some veggies to saute and then mix with egg noodles. I'm going to be making this tonight to go with these chicken frieds steaks we have. Chomp.

I also left the house for just awhile today. I dropped my grandmother and cousins off at the dollar store, then rushed to Starbucks for a chai. After my short-lived attempt to quit caffeine, I have returned as an even worse junkie than before. Recidivism, what's that?

I've been feeling dissatisfied lately, not so much with my life but with myself. Everyone around me seems to be getting it together, and I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I was reading through my old high school diary a few days ago, and it scares me how little in my life has actually changed since then. I need shockabuku. Thankfully I am not depressed the way I used to get, but my dreams about the future are so grand as to make the here and now seem super boring. (You may interrupt me at any time with that kick to the head.)

Which for whatever reason reminds me: One day last week, I got like six invitations/catalogues from book clubs. You know, like, "Buy five books for forty cents each! Oh, and then buy however many books in however many years or we'll hunt you down and kill you." I got one from a mystery club, a paperback club, a sci-fi (ugh) club, one called "Black Expressions" or something along those lines (nothing wrong with that, of course, but I'm curious as to how it gets sent to someone with an obviously Hispanic last name), and a New Age-y one called "One Spirit" which I ended up joining. Heh.

Why, you ask, does a lifelong non-practicing Catholic turned atheist and half-assed Unitarian Universalist become a member of a club whose books focus on spirituality and angels and psychics and (blurgh) self-help stuff? Excellent question indeed. You know me, always asking questions that don't have a clear, definitive answer. Atheist I may be, but I still think there are lots of mysteries in life that can't be solved with things that are concrete. I'm still interested in many paranormal subjects, and I figure this club will have some neat books.

Oh, and since my tarot cards are still missing, I figured, "Hey, I'll get some new ones for forty cents!" I'm not usually frugal about buying stuff, but when I am, it's a doozy.

So much for moving to a city with a better crime rate. Not very long after my family moved into this house in the fall of 2003, we had a set of solar lights stolen from our front yard. In early 2004, we had some drunk guy attempt to get into the house early in the morning (after this failed, he decided to hang out in one of the chairs on the front porch). And last night, while I lay sleeping not thirty feet away, someone stole my car.

This was actually hightly amusing at first. I mean, anyone who would a steal 15-year-old, not-aging-well, oxidized paint and differently-colored driver's door car has to have exceptionally bad taste. I laughed as my dad called the police to report it stolen, as my mom drove me to work, and as I recounted the story to the secretary. I'm not sure exactly when the tables turned, but I have gone from being tickled to being really effing pissed. Where does someone get off thinking that their (insert bullshit reason here) outweighs my need to get to work, or the grocery store, or wherever it is I go?

As I wrote in an e-mail to a friend earlier: I lost a job in January, and my car in February; I'm afraid of what's going to happen in March! Of course, I haven't yet given up hope of them finding Betsy the SuperJeep. Certainly, she couldn't be returned in much worse condition than she already is. Heh. Luckily, I keep nothing of value in the car unless you count the gasoline in the tank. I had three-quarters of a tank, too, goshdarnit.

Happy things:

Had sushi with JH last night at this place in Antioch I haven't been to in almost two years. In fact, the first time I was there, I didn't even eat sushi yet. Anyway, it's now gorgeous on the inside and the food was so good. The yummiest thing had eel and was sprinkled with sesame seeds... mmm.

Funny, kinda: There were these two guys (I thought) a couple tables down, and the "guy" with "his" back to me kept turning around and giving me these weird looks. Whatever, I didn't care too much, and then awhile later, that "guy" moved over to sit next to the other dude... and the "guy" who kept glaring at me was a girl! I didn't realize it until I saw the boobs. I mean, she wasn't exactly butch; just not feminine looking. And as a not super-feminine girl myself, I think I'm allowed to say that. I'm just curious as to why she hated me; I sure wasn't checking out her man. I'm just sayin'.

There's a morning writer's club meeting tomorrow that I'm going to head up, with the usual lady out of town. The weather has been so lovely that I think, with the meeting place so nearby, and being carless (if not also careless), I'll walk over. I still have to write something, though. Oops.

Unless you have been living under a rock (lucky you), you also know that tomorrow is Valentine's Day. My plans: I have "First Snow" on DVD that I still have to watch, a cache of Lindt chocolate truffles, and I'm not afraid to use either of em.

It's a three-day weekend coming up! I'm looking forward to the sleep. With my boss out of town for the week, I don't have to go into work as early as I do, but I prefer that to going in and staying later. Oh, I wonder if there's going to be a "Law and Order" marathon on Monday? (Who am I kidding, there always is.) It's the one thing you can count on in this crazy world.

I don't usually write posts just to link to weird stuff, but these are too bizarre to not pass on:

Today is the Day

"Get That Job" Voodoo Doll

Okay, I probably shouldn't make fun of the voodoo doll too much; I might be needing one myself come the end of April.

I painted my nails tonight and of course as soon as I finish, I mess them up somehow. I messed up my right thumb when zipping up my jeans, and all the fingertips on my left hand are dull because I was clutching a pillow while watching "Prison Break" (what? I was nervous!)

Also, my hands don't match. The left one I painted the nails black, and on the right hand, a pastel pink. Sometimes I do the same thing with socks, just to keep things interesting... and I guess that just proves how boring I am, d'oh....

Snapple used to have these great Element drinks, but I can't find them anywhere. My favorite was the "Rain" one which was agave (cactus) and.... well, that was basically it. The closest I've been able to find is the Snapple Antioxidant Water that's agave melon. This would be great if I didn't, you know, hate melon.

Speaking of melons (and you're about to realize why I used that particular fruit as a segue), I read an article earlier about Dolly Parton cancelling or postponing a tour because of back injuries. Well... yeah! She's carrying the equivalent of two not-that-small planets up front, of course her back hurts! I know that my spine starts to crumble when I merely look at her boobs. Um, not like I spend an inordinate amount of time doing that.

I didn't know until today that Kirsten Dunst was in rehab! I thought she was the wholesome type, like me. Ha.

I've been having the weirdest urges lately (get your mind out of the gutter) to organize stuff. At home, on my computer, at the office, on the office computer - what's up with that? Not just cleaning, which I've always been pretty good about, but getting rid of old stuff and finding the absolute perfect place for everything else. There is (no joke) a fair amount of OCD on my mom's side of the family. If I ever start hoarding TV Guides or wearing gloves to pump gas, shoot me.

...because I just burst out laughing when reading (wait for it) the obituaries, particuarly the one for a woman named... Candy Barr. Oh, that's so good!

I really shouldn't laugh, though. Because in yesterday's obituaries, there were two for women named Yvonne. Not exactly a common name, and you know what they say about things happening in threes.

In other "Scary Stuff" news, I just filed my taxes. That always makes me unreasonably nervous. I tried TurboTax's online service for the first time this year, and found it much more preferable to my usual H&R Block e-filing. The ease of entering W-2's (I had three of them for 2007, whew) is about the same for both, but entering my 1099 in TurboTax was way easier. My state filing wasn't free, but it was reasonable ($9.95 "plus applicable taxes" which they don't tell you until the last minute, of course) and it transferred all the information from my federal forms in like 2 seconds. /end commercial for Turbo Tax

Okay, now that I have my "homework" and my taxes done, I really am going to work on something arty. I think.

It's a gorgeous day, and I should probably really be outside. But... meh.

Thursday night, DM and I went to this poetry reading here in town. It had kind of a love/Valentine's theme but wasn't too mushy or anything. I had a mocha* that I sipped when it was way too hot, and had a numb tongue for the next 36 hours. No fun.

*I've been trying for years to make myself like coffee drinks, and it just ain't happening. I officially give up; from here on out I'm just going to stick with what I like, which is chai and some other teas. Such as...

...when MB and I went to a tea service yesterday, we had some creme brulee tea. Oh my god; total mouthgasm! I drank probably one whole pot of it by myself. I also had way too much sugar with it, just because I am fond of using the teeny little sugar tongs to grab the little sugar cubes. Squeal!

The food was also fantastic. A small green salad with candied walnuts and this brilliant vinaigrette (I wanna say apple-flavored), cucumber and mint finger sandwiches, crostini with bell pepper and other stuff on it that was good, lavender bread with clotted cream (I was wary of this, but it was delish and also gorgeously purple) and ambrosia. All of this food, the tea, and the hand scrub and 2-minute (no exaggeration) massage made me very cozy and sleepy.

That wasn't even the end of my caffeine adventures for the day. I went to Saxby's in the evening and met up with LP for cinnamon chais. So yummy, but I should've gotten it iced instead of hot; it got really warm yesterday, like up to 70. Global warming indeed.

Because I don't have enough unfinished projects, I'm now officially planning to take on redeocrating my bedroom. I'm considering on doing that thing where you only paint one wall - in my case, the wall with the door, because I'm only going to have to move a few small things out of my way. Yeah, I know I'm lazy. As for jazzing up the rest of it, I have a bunch of framed stuff still sitting in a box in the garage, and I bought all these scrapbooking pages from Target that I'm going to use in an art project. Fun! I just finished the work I brought home for the weekend, so I think it's time to get my creativity on.

Weird dreams from last night: Suffocating an evil doll (I should probably really interpret that), and something about being back in junior high and using various sodas to dye Easter eggs. I don't even want to know what that means.

I do want to know why Easter gets to move around the calendar like it does. Imagine the anarchy that would occur if all holidays could just, you know, change when they happen. I mean, what if New Year's Eve, Mardi Gras (if you consider that a holiday), St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo decided to team up for a drunken four-day weekend? That would be very, very bad.

Tonight is the last night of "American Idol" auditions, meaning that I may soon earn my soul back, whoo! I have to admit I almost died laughing last night at the one boy who told Ryan that Simon called his tryout a "bedroom audition" because he "wouldn't let Simon spoon with him." This was much more hilarious than his attempts at humor in the audition room. Also: I am considering the risk of being humiliated on television for the chance of getting in there and giving Simon a hug like all these girls have been doing. I would just die of happiness! Also embarrassment.

Elsewhere in TV land:

"Prison Break" - OMG, can they break out already so that Michael can kill Susan/Gretchen? And will Sofia ever hook up with Lincoln, and break up with Whistler, so that I can have a shot with the hot Aussie? Just kidding. Kinda. I do wish that Michael and Mahone could somehow work it out that T-Bag gets locked up again - preferably in an American prison - without anyone else getting into trouble. (Speaking of pervs: this thing is sick and wrong. If the Hell that Jack Chick believes in exists, there's undoubtedly a special hot seat reserved for his demented ass.)

"The Wire" - Prop Joe? No effing way! The list of people whose death Omar (yay!) needs to avenge grows ever longer. Also, while the show has given us a surprising number of hilarious moments over the years, I can't remember laughing as hard as I did this last week when Templeton asked McNulty in amazement, "[The serial killer] called you too?" I won't explain that to anyone who doesn't watch the show, because you should really be watching it for yourself. Sunday nights just aren't going to be as good when this series is over in just a matter of weeks.

Two things I neglected to mention earlier:

1. Apparently they (Hollywood They) have done a "not really remake" remake of "Prom Night*" which of course looks absolutely stupid; but I have to go see it because Idris Elba has a role. Dreamy sigh!

*Bad old horror movie with Jamie Lee Curtis, disco music, and my least favorite decapitation scene in a movie ever. And believe me, there's plenty of them.

2. Bath and Body Works has this new scent called Chocolate Amber. I was already in love with Sensual Amber, and am now carrying on an affair with this stuff. Anyway, I just realized why I love it so: It smells almost exactly like the Avon/Mark "Hollywood Pink" stuff that's so hard to find!

Why the church I occasionally go to kicks ass:

(During announcements) "[Church member] will be starring in 'The Vagina Monologues' at [wherever]. And yes, I did just say vagina."

I thought I'd be clever today and go shopping while everyone else is doing something Superbowl-related. Turns out a lot of other people had the same idea as me, though I certainly wouldn't describe the stores I went to as crowded. There were plenty of people at the mall, but only a few of them were at Torrid and at Bath and Body Works.

I also went by Cost Plus World Market, and decided that I seriously need to redecorate my room. There are lots of reasons why I fantasize about being rich, but the main one is just so I can have a huge house full of rooms that have only one purpose each. A room for writing, a room for sleeping, a room for relaxing in, and so on. Until that comes along, I'm going to have to be super-creative and figure out how to work with what I have.

Last night, I got together with another gal from the movie club and her friend to see "The Eye." I was pleased to find it not stupid, and at least slightly creepy. Also: it was nice and short. There should be a law against movies running longer than two hours.

Another thing about the movie: It was PG-13 and therefore full of high school kids. Loud, obnoxious, high school kids, but it made me kinda nostalgic for the days when I was young and annoying (as opposed to now, when I'm old and annoying). I really, really don't want to be old. I was going to write a blog to that effect last night, but decided it was too depressing and also ultimately dumb; I'm only 25, nowhere near old. For a few more years, anyway.