A weekend in Paris

I'm sitting here trying to think of a title for this entry, and I catch sight of my mostly unused and mostly empty address book. "A weekend in Paris... Arc de Triomphe", it says on the cover. Tri-Coastal Design has saved me again!

I need to do some serious spring cleaning, yet don't want to (who didn't see that coming). I suppose I got somewhat of a start on it yesterday, taking down some collages and things, moving a few around. My walls look nakey. What my room really needs is hardcore dusting and vacuuming... boo. The other day I was looking at my bro's computer desk and thinking, I should so switch with him... then maybe I'd stop bumping into my bookcase everytime I push my chair back.

His desk considerably smaller than mine, and he wants a bigger one, so it could have worked out - if not for my hogmungous monitor. I don't know how much it weighs - probably not that much, really - but it's overextending the talents of my little glass desk as it is. If I tried to put it on the other desk (also glass), it would probably crash right through the damn thing. Blah.

They apparently did a remake of "The Amityville Horror"... which I MUST see (as opposed to "The Ring Two", which I merely would like to see). The original movie was more funny than scary, except for maybe the part with the two red glowing eyes. I doubt the new one will be much better, but I don't think they could do any worse, either. The book - hella scary, even if it turned out to all be a hoax. Damn.

Onto sad news... I did not get the radio/office job. So it goes. There was someone else who had a bit of radio background, so I can't blame them for wanting to train someone who needs less training. Or whatever. The guy said he'll probably call next week, and may take me on part time for solely office stuff. I figure if he does, I can do that and have time left to look for a full-time dealy. Something else to add to my resume, in any case.

I think I might go to Mervyn's today or tomorrow. Strict rules must however be set: Only nicer-end stuff that I could wear to a job, and only stuff that fits me now, not this "When I lose ten pounds it'll be great" crap. I'll worry about that smaller clothes issue when I get to it, as I'm working hard on trying to do.

I had super many dreams last night, but couldn't remember them once I got up and had some apple juice and listened to this odd conversation about fast food breakfast sandwiches that was going on on the news. I haven't recalled a dream in at least a couple weeks, probably, though I know one night there was something deep having to do with the skeleton of a wolf that was being carried around. Note to self: refrain from hallucinogens before bedtime. (Hallucinogens for me being any over-the-counter pain reliever)

You better tell that girl to shut up

Except for updating my little "Currents" column, I had absolutely nothing new to add to the site this week. No recipes, that's for sure. Saturday night I tried to improve upon the formula for the Apricot Chicken wings. I replaced the apricot with peaches, and added some stuff, namely peanut butter, honey, and like a teaspoon of barbecue sauce. This sounded good in my head, but the recipe TOTALLY bombed.

They were not great at all. You know how your mouth and teeth feel after eating a big, gooey peanut butter sandwich? This is what it felt like to eat this chicken wings, only worse. Blech. There are some leftovers in the fridge, and I don't think anyone is going to eat them; I know I won't. At least there was also yummy cheesy rice at that meal... mmm... cheese and rice.

Early Sunday morning, I drove into good old P-town to sit on another radio show that's done at the place I might work at (please please please!). It was pretty neat... the system wasn't as evil and complicated as I thought it would be, which is also not to say I wouldn't need more instruction. I took a couple of calls and it was scary but I didn't do too badly. At least I won't have to actually talk on the radio... I would so die.

It was really nice driving when hardly anyone else was around. My only issues was this dumbass in a blue SUV following me close on Lone Tree when I was already going over the speed limit (hee hee), and some other dumbass in a little blue car going slow on Buchanan. That one I did not mind as much, because I was going to be embarrassingly early if I went at normal or higher speed. I drove past my old house and considered stopping by a church (the one I was baptized in, incidentally), but remembered that I have never gone to any church on a major holiday, and would probably unknowingly commit some major faux pas, and be sentenced to hell... more so. D'oh.

Got back home, got my Easter basket... yay for chocolates, a Lisa Frank notebook, a pair of "J'adore (purses)" socks, and a Strawberry Margarita lip balm. The packaging on said balm noted that "THIS PRODUCT DOES NOT CONTAIN ALCOHOL." Damn.

In the afternoon we went to my grandma's house... there was too much food, as usual, and all of it yummy. The menu:

SNACKS: Ribs, chips and dip, stuffed eggs
MAIN DISH: Ham
SIDES: Zucchini quiche, macaroni and cheese, macaroni salad, beans, potato salad, green salad, asparagus, rolls
DESSERTS: Chocolate pie, coconut pie, lemon meringue pie, fruit pizza, strawberry jello mold, jello eggs

We got most of this stuff sent home with us, somehow... boo for fatness.

Writing has been going quite slow lately, which is not really good... I had wanted to get as much done as possible in case I get the job (please please please!). I should go do that right now... but will I? I suppose we'll see.

Oh yeah, yesterday I kept amusing everyone with my Calamity Jane impression... she wasn't on "Deadwood" last night, boo.

The remorse of a sugar junkie

The other day I caught a bit of "Red Dragon." That was a pretty neat movie, but the book was so brilliant that the movie just makes me sad. I've also seen the first movie they did of that book, "Manhunter", with Will Petersen. What they need to do is figure out how to let WP and Edward Norton (playing the same part in "Red Dragon") have a baby, and then that baby would be TOTALLY perfect for that part, once he grew up. Or something.

Yes, I had a regular little crime marathon with that, the episode of "CSI" where the rollercoaster goes off the track (UGH), a "Law & Order SVU" with Anthony Rapp, and then the premiere of the new "Kojak." I'm such a pathetic TV bum... but I did take a break in there somewhere to do my patented clumsy step aerobics, which I have been making myself do nearly every night for about a week.

Having not seen the original "Kojak", I can't really compare it to that, but it was just OK as far as I know. Ving Rhames was pretty badass, but I don't think I'll be able to get into the show. A little too much jazz music, maybe?

Watching it hella made me miss "Touching Evil", though (also a remake... the original was British). Everything about that show was so great - every actor was so perfect for the character they portrayed, the stories were good and well-written, and to me it had a definite atmosphere, which is pretty rare in TV shows. "CSI", in its better moments, has it; the "Law & Order"s do not. In any case... "Touching Evil" plus "DVD" needs to happen.

This morning I kept getting nervous, thinking that "It's Sunday and I was supposed to go to the place this morning!" even though I know perfectly well it was Saturday; or thinking, "She actually said Saturday and I mistook it as Sunday!" even though I know for a fact it must be Sunday, because they're not doing their thing this morning. So take that, nervous brain!

My computer hates me. I was browsing this really neat site with a bunch of bread recipes (I so want to be a bread nerd), and there were a million popups because it was Tripod, and Tripod is owned by Satan, if my memory is correct. I got so annoyed and thought, "Screw it; I'm going to download Firefox", because it's supposedly really great and has the best popup-blocker ever, this side of a sledgehammer to your computer monitor. The download and installation went okay; the attempt to run Firefox, not so much.

I don't blame this at all on the lovely people at Mozilla; there is no doubt in my mind that Windows has some creepy little bug in it that's keeping it from working. Vaguely recalling an Internet Explorer repairer, I tried using it; not just to see if it would magically and illogically make FF work, but to see if it would fix the tendency IE has to combust when I mark a page as a favorite. Long story short - FF still won't work, and IE still tried to explode my hard drive into a hundred pieces. I have the feeling that if Internet Explorer was a person, it would be checked into the hospital on a 72-hour suicide watch at least once a week.

I am THIS close to giving up and becoming Amish. I've been trying to figure out substitutions for my modern antics:

- E-mail: Snail mail. Though I will probably be soon enough outraged by the cost of stamps, and will have to drive them to their recipient. Then, outraged by the price of gas to get me to wherever I'm mailing it to, I'll have to actually walk. Bummer.

- Online shopping: Shopping at real stores, meaning interaction with actual store workers, and other patrons. Ew.

- Writing my novel: Time to break out the typewriter! My grandma actually used to have one that I loved to use when I was a kid, but I think it got given away with all the leftover stuff from a yard sale we had before we moved here. Ah, well. You can't make a typo if you don't type. Looks like it's good old pen and paper (and carpal tunnel syndrome) for me.

- Porn: I'll have to resort to lurking creepily around newsstands, leering at cuties while trying before I buy, whatever that means. On a related note, why isn't there a Playgirl mansion, with me lounging around in a robe, surrounded by hot guys in bunny ears? Also, insert another carpal tunnel joke here.

- Balancing my checkbook: Goodbye, Excel; Hello, cheap, mass-produced booklets given to you by the bank when you buy a $2930843 box of checks.

- Blogging: I'll helpfully mail my handwritten diary to the New York Times to be published, where it will be mistaken for the ramblings of the Zodiac Killer. Postmarks will lead the police directly to my now-useless computer chair, guaranteeing (is that a word?) my prompt arrest, conviction, and incarceration. But at least in prison, I can use a computer.

Don't turn around, der kommissar's in town

So my interview went pretty well yesterday. I found the place without any issues, though I really don't like having to turn without a light. I suppose I'll have to get over that. Anyway... I wasn't too nervous. I know I have the tendency to not talk and look dumb during that kind of thing so I tried to talk more than usual, and look less dumb. The guy who makes the final decision won't be there till the end of this next week, so in the meantime I might do some general clerical work to see how it goes, and I'm going in Sunday morning (yesh, Easter morning) to see a little bit of how the radio stuff works.

It was really nice and warm yesterday. After my interview I stopped by the Salvation Army, because they always have a lot of stuff, and it's always really, unbelievably cheap. I got a few cards - like, greeting cards, though I'm using most of them for my collages, and I found one cute birthday one that has a quote by Nietzsche on the front. Cause god knows, when I think of Hallmark, I think of Friedrich Nietzsche. I also got this book titled "Our Sex Life." It was written by this doctor back in the late 30's, early 40's, and I bought it mostly because I felt dirty about reading it right there with these properly dressed old ladies next to me, looking at the purses.

As you might imagine, it's not the most enlightened book in the world. The author mentions at one point that "the common allegation of women that they have been raped should generally be dismissed, as it is nearly impossible to complete intercourse with a woman who is struggling" (I'm paraphrasing, but that is honestly what he said.) Asshole. Strangely enough, he has a modern view on homosexuality, noting that what "any two adults do in their bedrooms should be of no interest to others." I was somewhat surprised to find no mention of any sex act other than heterosexual intercourse (and mostly vague references to masturbation), which is not to say I was searching for them. Ahem.

When driving back yesterday, there a minute where this HUGE bee was hovering on the window right next to me. I don't even want to imagine what the expression on my face might have looked like, but I managed calmly enough to get into the right lane, so I could pull over - but it was gone already. Good riddance, stingy little bastard.

Last night while watching "The OC" (of course!), there was some soda commercial (Sierra Mist, I think?) that had Michael Ian Black in it. He is so cute... I'm still trying to figure out why they haven't given him his own TV show. ATTENTION STUDIO EXECUTIVES: I would watch it EVERY DAY, and purchase every product advertised by... er... advertisers.

I went to the library today, to return a bunch of huge books, and came home with a bunch of smaller books. I always have a few books on hold, and I always tell myself not to look through the racks because I won't be able to carry them all out, but I always choose some anyway. Luckily I had taken my cute "I Love Shopping" tote that held all but one of them. Leaving the parking lot, I so biffed it on this curb because I was trying to avoid these three cars (seriously) that were parked in the loading zone. None of them were loading anything! Jerks.

I'm getting kinda tired of the blog template... I wish I was smart(er) and knew how to design one, myself. I was thinking of changing it to the index being a regular main page like I always had before, and then having the blog just listed as a normal feature... but my stuff always looks so unprofessional. Bleh.

I'll give you nothing but trouble, my love does you no good

So I have an interview in a couple of hours. Wish me luck! I know he has at least a couple of other applicants but I really hope this works out for me... I am so bummed out from looking and finding nothing.

Yesterday I heard The Pixies' "Here Comes Your Man" and I can't get it out of my head. Also Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." Word.

I stopped in Mervyn's the other day to buy underwear, which I mention not because I want you to think about my underwear (nobody should?), but because even though they were on sale it was still expensive. And I didn't even buy really cute or clever ones, just plain good brand ones. It made me think of this article I read a week or two ago, about a Canadian politican who's introducing some bill where women and men would have to be charged similar amounts for the same products/services as opposed to now, when women pay significantly more (for shoes, haircuts, clothes, etc). Damn right, I say. I was talking about it with my mom and she said it will just mean they'd raise the prices on guy stuff instead of lowering it for women, which is true, but also kind of funny. Ha ha!

I also stopped by Jamba Juice, where I haven't been in months. The last time I can remember being there was sometime in the summer, when I met up with LS and JH and her then-man there. I got my favorite, the peach pleasure smoothie... mmm. The orange dream machine is my second favorite - it's just like a creamsicle (or if you're my mom, a "fifty-fifty" bar).

Damn... I had a big enough breakfast this morning but now my stomach is growling. I had some yum Honey Nut Chex with banana slices, and then an apple and an orange. I've been hearing these rumors that fresh fruit is good for you so I thought I'd give it a try, ha. But yeah... I couldn't even finish the apple, I got so full. I'm going to have to munch some crackers before I leave or my stomach will be all "GRR!" during the interview. Embarrassing body sounds are never beneficial when you're trying to get employed.

Easter is in just a few days and I'm still not sure whether we're going to my grandma's house or if "everyone" is coming over here. Not because I'll make too much of an extra effort to clean and all that, just because I like to be forewarned that people are coming into my territory... whatever that means.

I got an issue of "Interview" yesterday and it had some really gorgeous pictures... so now I'm trying to mentally rearrange all the posters and things in my room so I can put them up. I'm not really happy with the last collage I did (it's actually a two-poster one) so I will probably take that down and take it to pieces. There are also some smaller ones I've had almost as long as we've lived here, but I can't bear to take them down, I like them so much. Boo for limited wall space.

I love myself, I want you to love me

Earlier I was looking through my web stats and all that, and one of the search engine terms someone used that sent them to my site was "girl ass images." I thought it was pretty funny, if rude. Though, I guess there's no real polite way to phrase it.

It's rainy again... I blame this on that dumbass groundhog. Sun + me = niceness.

I went to Raley's this morning, and no doubt found out too much about me at the moment. My purchases? Pads and a chocolate bar. Word. Also Dr. Pepper... mmm, caffeine.

It really needs to be dinnertime, because there are some fabulous scalloped potatoes getting all gooey in the slow cooker. Drool. God, I want a burger from Chili's so bad... Note to self: Stop thinking about food you can't afford. D'oh.

I've not yet received a call back from that guy about the job. Grrr. Way to get my hopes up and all that. I'm not really sure why I was so sure that he would call, though, because it took him nearly a month to do so after getting my info. Whatever... other jobs in the classifieds and all that.

I read yesterday in the TV Guide that Lee Tergesen is going to be on "Rescue Me" when the second season starts this summer. I watched most of the first season, just because Denis Leary kicks ass... I'm still not sure why I stopped watching, . The only thing I could think of was, that if I knew any of the characters in real life, I wouldn't like any of them. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, though, because I watch "Oz" and that show has characters that make the abrasive firefighters of "Rescue Me" look like Boy Scouts. Wait, I don't like Boy Scouts either. Never mind.

So, the night before last, I had another dream about a Virgin Mary statue that came to life. This one scared me more than all of them except for the first one. I think I've had 3 or 4 of them since this last September, and the thing that bothers me most about them is the fact that they bother me. I'm nobody's idea of a good Catholic, but I've always had a fondness for Mary, and so I shouldn't be freaking out every time I dream about her, right?

In this last dream, she talked to me for the first time. She didn't say anything bad or ominous; it was like a normal conversation that any two people might have, which to me is almost worse than her prophesizing doom or something. When I try to remember what her voice sounded like, all I can hear is my voice, which almost makes sense because in the dream I was concerned that I was going crazy and pretending that she was talking when I was the one who was saying it.

Anyway... I just wish that these dreams would leave me with a good feeling, instead of feeling creeped out, as if something bad is going to happen. I'd really like to talk to someone - dream interpreter, priest, psychic - about this but I know I won't.

Damn, I miss my old shrinky-dink... I can so imagine the look on her face with me telling her about these dreams. I kind of miss professional help, but right now I can only afford friends who let me sit on their couch for free. And I mean that in a good way - one conversation with a good friend is more beneficial than a year's worth of therapy (plus real friends give you better pills, and for free - JUST KIDDING!)

"Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way!"

"The Wedding Singer" was on yesterday... that movie so rules.

I keep giving myself bruises. There's one right next to my left elbow that I have no idea how it got there... it's not that big, maybe dime-sized, but it's all dark and ugly. And then awhile ago, in my haste to leave the bathroom after cleaning it, I banged my hand really hard on a doorknob. (No, really.) Ugh...

Damn, I came here with stuff to blog and I forgot it.

I messed up more of my printed "Good Girls" yesterday... it's a Hewlett-Packard conspiracy, I think. You mess up on both-sided printing, you use more ink and paper printing it over again and have to go buy more... hey, even the paper I'm using right now is HP paper. I only bought it because I was in Best Buy at the time, and it was the only kind they had. That's probably a lie; they probably had something generic. What can I say, I'm a big believer in brand loyalty.

I'm really looking forward to a call back from that guy about the job in P-town. I was thinking this morning, "It would be really nice to go buy something." I don't really love money, I think, and I don't really love things (okay, sometimes I do), but I truly love to buy things. Material girl in a material world and all that, maybe?

I'm also half-expecting the call about the poster place job: "Thank you, but..." (The other half of my expectation is no call at all... optimism has no place in the job market)

Well, seeing as how I misplaced my brain somewhere between Yahoo and the Blogger main page, I'll close with this cute thing I saw on everyone else's blogs super months ago, where you go to your fave search engine and type in "Yvonne is" (with quotes, and with your name) and then list some of the results.

Yvonne is...
- back!
- the best!
- a ray of sunshine
- headed to the Cayman Islands
- a true-life success story
- beloved little princess of God
- the epitome of all pugs
- as good as dead
- a total space cadet
- the spokesperson and cheerleader for single women all over
- the sex expert everyone is after
- a powerful negotiator
- respected by heads of state in Africa
- obviously passionate and knowledgeable about what she does
- threatened by an old associate
- is usually always naive and nice
- a longtime licensed evangelist

No more words, you're telling me you love me while you're looking away

Terri Nunn has such a beautiful voice... I really need to get a Berlin CD.

Yesterday we went to my grandparents house for our traditional St. Patrick's corned beef and cabbage meal... which neither I nor my siblings consume. Oops. It's not my fault that I prefer my beef un-corned, and that cabbage is weird no matter what you do with it. There were some awesme boiled potatoes, though, and we took a couple of frozen pizzas with us. It was pretty amusing.

Unfortunately I have not yet had my St. Patty's drink... when we got back last night it was late (well not really), and I had super dishes to do... and tonight I had a bad headache that just finally went away after taking Sudafed and Excedrin. I figure that if I took both and it didn't work, I had something more serious to worry about than a headache. Hee.

This morning I woke up really early, which sucked... I was sleeping really good, too, and dreaming about something that I forgot. I've had odd/funny dreams this week. One night I had a really neat one about this library/video store, and there was this really cute guy there that I was friends with and we were flirting. And the night after, I had one of my random "end of the world" dreams, but in this one I had some friendly companions to move along in all the obstacle courses (???) with.

The other afternoon I was going through my printed copy of "All the Good Girls" and I realized one of the sections (I print after every 10 pages) is hella messed up... there's one part that's printed twice, and some stuff that was left out entirely. Mental note: Print that again, and not stupidly. I always seem to mess it up, though, because I do front-and-back, and something always goes wrong with the printer not taking the pages right. Whatev.

My parents had this insurance guy over earlier so I was trapped in my room with crazy Pepsi, who was being extra-crazy. He was driving me nuts because I was listening to music and dusting my room... which only sounds really stupid and pathetic now that I type it in, but anyway. I was dusting my bookshelves and decided they looked really boring and dumb, so I stopped dusting halfway through my room, and reorganized all the shelves. So that's cool, but half of my room is less clean... like that's different from any other day, ha.

We missed "The OC" last night... I want to know what happened with Julie Cooper and her porno! Haha, today I turned on this movie that Tate Donovan (Jimmy Cooper) was in super days ago... he looked so young and dorky.

While watching "Judge Judy" today, I got a call from this guy about this job I applied for straight days ago... at least two weeks but maybe more. It was originally for this part-time clerical thing in P-town, but I guess one of the other workers left so now it would be full-time. I'm going to get a call back on Monday about an interview time and all that, so it's cool. The only thing that bugs me is I can not for the life of me seem to find the exact location of this business.

T-Bone is hiding under my bed right now... it's really cute. Pepé is on top of the bed (of course) and growled at T when he tried to go up there, so now he's under there, wedged between my step and the bag I keep my collage stuff in. What a dork. They were both so crazy when we got home from my grandparents last night... during which time we had left the garage door open. Oops. Luckily no one made off with anything... Odd, as crimes are becoming more common in these here parts. Every time I read the police notes in the paper(s) it seems as if there's more and more items each week about something in our neighborhood. Well, not really; I'm exaggerating. It's a very nice area, if you can deal with snobby neighbors and smartass kids who stick their tongue out at your dog when he barks at them for walking by.

I'm losing my favorite game

Pepé is sitting in my window right now and shivering... he and T-Bone got shaved when they went to get groomed the other day. Poor things... they are SO UGLY. Hee hee. They both look like oversized rats, and T-Bone has this like big black stripe on his back, so he kind of resembles a reverse skunk.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to the Irish and non-Irish like! I did know the origins/meaning behind this holiday, but I forgot them. Sorry about that, St. Pat. I do know that I'm wearing green... it's this cute green (duh) shirt with the fake white sleeve and bottom under it (you know, the ones where it's supposed to look as if you're wearing two shirts) and it says, "Saw it, Wanted it, Had a fit, Got it." I bought this super months ago at Mervyn's but I don't think I've worn it since then, mostly because of my gaining weight again, and it doesn't look as good on me. Wah. It's not skin tight so all of my grossness shows, but you know what I mean, or if you don't, lucky you.

I bought another one in the same style, and that one is black with pink writing that says "A wise man once said, 'I don't know, ask a girl.' " It's really cute... that one fits me better than the green even though they are the same style and size. That so bothers me with clothes - like these two pairs of sweatpants I bought from Target. One is black with pink, and the other gray with red... Same style, very same size, but the black ones fit perfectly and the gray is just not attractive to wear. Ha. And the black ones now have two tiny holesies in the left knee... Wah.

I'm feeling a lot better than I was a few days ago. Not 100%, but I figure enough to enjoy a St. Patty's drink tonight while watching "The OC." I'm so not a beer person; I'm thinking more along the lines of a pina colada dyed green. Whoo hoo. Hey, "CSI" isn't on tonight... damn sports and sports-related shows. Apparently HBO Zone is restarting "Oz" from the beginning, so in just four weeks I'll be enjoying the beginnings of various plotlines that I missed out on - the whole Beecher/Keller/Schillinger mess and Ryan O'Reily's breast cancer. AND HIS LONG HAIR. A man should not look so good with such a bad hairstyle, but...

The "Oz" season finale was on Tuesday night and I was bawling for days. It's odd... I used to be the kind of person that cried a lot. Like in high school, it seems as if I cried every day over something or another (usually the same things over and over), and I wasn't really embarrassed by it, or ashamed to do it in front of other people. Now I don't really cry that much anymore, and I just hate for other people to see me do it, or even know that I'm doing it. I get nervous when watching something with other people, wondering if there's going to be a tear-jerking moment and if I'll be able to stop myself. Damn girly hormones or whatever.

Oh my god this is eerie. For Christmas my parents got me this really cute keychain watch. It's a pink heart with purple flowers, and you have to open it up to see the time. I was looking at it a couple weeks ago, and noticed the time had somehow gotten changed - it was something like three hours ahead or behind. I couldn't find the little manual to fix it, and messing around with it only made it worse. Now the time is only five minutes ahead of what the time actually is, which is where I'd probably set it anyway - I have a thing about being early, so all my watches and clocks are set ahead. The date is still wrong, though - I do not believe it's December 1st.

Tuesday afternoon my parents were in a very minor car accident in which no one was injured... yay for that. But the front of the van looked hella tore up (I love that expression... tore up from the floor up... I never get to use it, though), and some issue with the radiator, so it's in the body shop. My parents were actually really close to their insurance office at the time, so they just drove there and had the guy call the tow truck for them. They would have let the State Farm guy drive them home, but they'd been shopping for a bunch of yard stuff (wood chips, bricks, what have you) so they called me to come get them in the Jeep. I was not a pretty picture that day; I was still really sick, and had no makeup, so I looked like a total hag standing around in the parking lot while my parents moved everything from the van into the Jeep. I would have liked to have driven home becaues I can't stand my dad's driving, but I was automatically demoted to the back seat. Boo.

Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to get a refill, and there were so more people there than I'd ever seen. I was just starting to feel better and was paranoid I was going to catch something from someone else. I also felt dumb, because they've changed the way lines work; there's one for people who just got something prescribed at a recent appointment, and another for phone and Internet refills. Of course I stood in the wrong one, behind a hundred people, when the other line was empty.

I came home just long enough to check my e-mail and other randomness, and I found a posting for this job at a sign company in Antioch. It had a phone number to call, which I hate to do, but I figured why not - so I just talked to this guy for a minute before I printed out my resume, jumped into a better outfit, and went down to fill out an application. The guy and I talked a little, but it wasn't like a real interview; or I hope not, because I sounded dumb.

I don't really think it's a job I actually want, though. The place isn't technically far away, but the drive on Lone Tree every morning and evening would soon discourage me. Hell, it's discouraging me now, thinking about it. The guy also said the job might involve driving around to other places, which I am really not fond of. Of course I'm ahead of myself here, not knowing anything. He said they're accepting applications and such all week; I figure I have a fair chance of at least getting a real interview, but if I don't, I won't cry into my pillow.

This is day 4 or 5 of non-computer-stupidity... except for awhile ago, when I marked a page as a favorite, and it made this scary beeping sound that was NOT good. It was like the regular "boop" when it starts up, but it went on forever and ever and... yeah. So, mental note: Write down web addresses on paper. I hate when I have to revert to 20th century technology, hee.

A girl in trouble is a temporary thing

The puppies are out getting groomed right now so it's really quiet in the house, and weird. I keep thinking, "Where's Pepé?" because usually he's right next to me, or hanging out in my bedroom window. He was pouting last night because I sent him to sleep upstairs, so I could try to get a full nights sleep... it didn't really work. I went to bed around 9:30, and I woke up at about midnight, and I was so mad about it, it was kind of funny. I fell back asleep, and woke up for good at 6:30, which isn't that bad... I think I feel a bit better today, but my voice sounds worse.

My stomach is growling right now and I don't know why... I had breakfast this morning, just some frosted mini-wheats and a few crackers. Some Handisnack crackers, but without the cheese - I don't know if they changed the recipe or what, but the cheese just tastes gross to me now, so I can't eat it. Stupid recipe-changers. The only product I ever approved of changing was... what were they? "Toaster Buddies", I think. They're like toaster pastries, but with pizza filling inside. When they first came out they were so nasty... then they changed it and it was so good. They don't make them anymore, though. Bummer.

I don't like to jinx anything, but this is the third day in a row my computer has not given me a hard time. I only had one issue yesterday, when I marked something as a favorite page and it gave me a Fatal Exception Error. But it was just one, and it worked perfectly after that. It was odd because when I thought about it, that also happened a week or two ago... and there were other times when I marked a favorite and it didn't happen at all. Maybe my computer really does have its own personality and brain... that would be neat... you know, until it gets super-intelligent and decides to kill me.

I really want to eat but it's only ten... way too early for lunch. I could and should have an apple or something, but I won't. There are some yum chocolate muffins from Costco... mmm. I'm such a hypocrite, really, always complaining about Costco but then gorging myself on their muffins and their breads, which are just the best foods ever. They probably slip some brainwashing drugs into them, and in a few months I'll be sitting around mumbling about how great and totally non-fascist Costco is.

On the good news side of the world (?), a CA judge ruled that a ban on same-sex marriages is unconstitutional. Amen to that, sir. So, "we" haven't won yet, but I am really optimistic that we can change things, make things equal for any two people who are in love and committed to each other, not just a man and woman who are. In spite of my strong political and personal beliefs (for me there's not much of a difference) about a lot of issues, I have never really gotten involved before - protests, rallies, things like that - but for this I want to very much. I just think it's sad and wrong that there are people who are denied rights and opportunities that are given to others.

It's the year 2005 - I think it's about time all that changed. I've been trying really hard to understand the POV of the other side, and I just don't see how any of their arguments can be validated. Religious reasons - okay, then, don't have your church perform or support gay marriages, but why should that stop others? Procreation - come on, are heterosexuals going to stop having kids? It's true enough that you still need sperm and an egg to create a baby, but you can get the sperm without the man, the egg without the woman... surrogate mothers and all that. It's not as if we're not overpopulated, anyway.

I'll end my mini-rant with this: Love is a special, precious thing. Any two people who find it should be allowed to celebrate it, and to have it recognized, and to have the statutory benefits that come with marriage if that's what they decide to do.

I try so hard not to get upset, cause I know the trouble I'll get

I can barely believe it, but I didn't have to start my computer up 100 times today. This may just be some devious plan to get me all secure in thinking, "Hey, it works after all," and then the next day it dies, but I figure I should enjoy it while it lasts, anyway.

I was just checking on some updates I did, and all the images I'd put up were messed up... and I realized I forgot to change the FTP-dealy to "binary" when I uploaded them. I almost always forget that because I was so used to a program that did it automatically. Me = dumb.

Last night I had a "Deadwood" dream. It's actually pretty embarrassing. It was Deadwood and everyone on the show looked as they do, but I looked normal, and also we were in good old P-town. I worked for Al Swearangen, but I actually wasn't a hooker - I killed people for him, and I seemed to enjoy it, which kind of disturbs me. Anyway, I get caught by Sheriff Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) himself, and as he was arresting me I was flirting with him, I guess trying to get out of it or get in less trouble. Didn't work. Bummer.

I don't even really remember what I did yesterday... started my computer 100 times... watched "Mythbusters"... but there's a whole bunch of hours I can't account for. That's not good. Heh. My parents and I watched "Flight of the Phoenix" (the new one... apparently there's an original one, and my dad made fun of me for not knowing... whatev!), with an interruption in the middle to watch "Cops." I used to really hate that show for some reason but now I like watching it, even - no, especially - the reruns.

In my tradition of making pointless lists that interest no one else, some of my favorite "Cops" incidents:

- Kodiak City, Alaska. These two drunk women were fighting in a bar, left, went to another bar, and started fighting again. Each of them needs like three police officers to restrain them, and that's a bit of a stretch. When they get to the detention center, one of them has to be strapped down, and the other starts shouting: "It's hot in here! Get me a fucking fan! I'm fatter than the last time I was in here, you know!"

- I forget why they arrest this lady - drugs, I think. She's this blond woman wearing a hat, ugly pink lipstick, and too much mascara. The cop who arrests her is this big guy, and she calls him "Hogmongous." I've adapted that word into my own vocabulary.

- A police officer goes into a parking lot where there's an older man just hanging out in a car. The man is obviously drunk, and they have an amusing exchange:

Drunk man: "Can I ask you a question?"
Policeman: "Sure, what is it?"
Drunk man: (holding some cash out to the cop) "Here's twenty dollars. Beat me up."
Policeman: "Why would I beat you up for?"
Drunk man: "Because you want to. Now go on, just go ahead and beat me up."

- The one where the little boy locks his mother out of the house. Hilarious.

- Any episode where someone caught with drugs says, "But they're not mine. I'm just holding them for a friend." Wait, that's every episode.

I'm so hungry... need breakfast... oh yeah, I woke up at 5:45 this morning. Boo.

Postscript: Hey, I guess comments work now, for some reason. I sure didn't do a thing. Yay for the comment fairy or whatever.

I'm paralyzed by rage... and island rhythms

There's a "Mythbusters" marathon on right now, yay.

Ugh, I was so ready to boot my computer out the window this morning, because it would not boot up correctly (like my little word play? Yeah, I don't blame you, it sucks). The variations on my problems are as follows:

- Starts up normally, freezes after 4 - 5 minutes regardless of activity or inactivity
- When 'reset' is pressed, nothing will show up (plain black screen)
- Freezes on Windows 98 loading or during ScanDisk (how I loathe that smarmy little program)

So I finally have it working now... I'm thinking I just may keep this thing on all the time, like on standby when I'm not using it at night or all that. I've never liked doing that, but I swear I can actually feel my blood pressure rising whenever I wrestle with this thing, trying to get it to, you know, work. Oh, well.

Last night Bravo was re-running their "100 Scariest Movie Moments" of all time... I watched the first hour and then decided I should stop before I rendered myself incapable of sleep. I'm such a wuss now. I can't remember what I watched instead, but I watched "The Simpsons" at 10, which turned out to be the one where Homer plays Mr. Burns' head like a bongo - awesome.

I almost sat on a tack earlier. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and after I came back in and sat down, I noticed my library books list had fallen off the wall, which meant the tack was also gone. D'oh. I got up very carefully, and discovered my bum was about 1" away from being stabbed... ow...

So I am resigned to the fact that I do have a cold. My throat isn't bothering me anymore but my nose is all stuffy and I just feel really tired and dumb (more than usual, ha).

The other day I was feeling nostalgic and was trying in vain to remember a bunch of books I'd read as a kid. There was one in particular that I could just not find, called "One Dark November" or "One Cold November", or something like that. It was about this girl in high school named Katie, who had a crush on her algebra teacher and also helped his wife with chores around their house, because they lived on the same street (their name was Herron or Herndon or Henderson, something like that).

Everything is cool until the wife's cousin Martin moves in with them, and he's all creepy and then suddenly just leaves one day. Or they all think they have, until Katie is alone at the house one day, and he's there and he chases her around with a knife, trying to kill her. She escapes, and her mom takes her to talk to the police. It turns out the cousin didn't really exist - it was the teacher she had a crush on pretending to be him, I forget exactly why, but it had to do with the wife inheriting money or something stupid.

It was actually a pretty creepy moment, where Katie was thinking of all the time she spent obsessing over him, and then he tries to kill her. Even though I was only 10 or 11 when I read that, I thought: "Wow, that girl is so going to need therapy."

My heart is beating 'don't say now', my head is saying 'take it slow'

You can say what you like about them, but the first Wilson Phillips album rules. I'm listening to it right now... I'm also having an orange soda, which is generally not advisable at ten in the morning, but I need something caffeinated, and my only other options are 7-Up and iced tea. Ew.

I fear I may be getting my sister's cold after all. There's kind of a dry feeling down in my throat, but it could either be a cold or just because of the weather changing from cold to warm, which always gives me one issue or another.

Last night I invented a new kind of cookie... kind of. They were peanut-butter chocolate-chip snickerdoodles. I just used my regular peanut butter cookie recipe, added chocolate chips, and then rolled them in cinnamon-sugar. They actually came out pretty good... my dad said they were just right, which means they could stand to be a little bit sweeter. Hee.

This morning, I tried to outsmart my computer by restarting it before it froze on it's own. Result? It froze. Computer - 1, me - 0.

Lee Tergesen was on last night's episode of "CSI." He's so cute. I'm glad he wasn't the bad guy, I think, though I didn't really appreciate who it actually was, either.

"The OC" was new last night, too. I felt really bad for Julie Cooper, even though I had to snicker at the title "The Porn Supremacy." It's odd, but a lot of times on TV shows, I end up liking characters who I just wouldn't be able to stand if they were real-life people. Examples:

- Julie Cooper (Melinda Clarke). She's bitchy, shallow, and a total OC snob even though she's from (gasp!) Riverside, but she's my favorite adult character on that show right after Sandy Cohen (Peter Gallagher).

- Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) on "Law & Order: SVU". Could she be more uptight? But you have to admire a girl who bagged Bobby Cassidy (Dean Winters), not to mention kicks more ass than any other SVU detective - yes, even more than Ice-T.

- Governor James Devlin (Zjelko Ivankek) on "Oz." An exceptionally slimy, condescending asshole, even for a politician. But - he rocks my world. LOL.

- Nate Fisher (Peter Krause) on "Six Feet Under." Such a wishy-washy, commitment-phobic, self-absorbed slut - wait, that describes just about everyone on that show. In spite of it all, he's just extremely likeable.

I could go on but I can tell you're bored, so I'll stop.

Self-destruction might be the answer

"Fight Club" was on FX last night... that is such a great movie. I was watching it on-and-off while also watching "Dr. Phil", whom I used to like, but actually can't stand now; it was a continuation of this show about these parents who suspected their 19-year-old-son was molesting their 4-year-old daughter. I saw the original show where good old Dr. P. talked to the parents and the son, and it ended where he (the son) was going to take a lie-detector test. I missed the next show where the actual test was, and so last night I was totally lost. Oh, well.

But I always wondered why he's called Dr. Phil... his last name is McGraw (I think? or MacGraw?). I don't go to the dentist and call him "Dr. Ron", or refer to my gynecologist as "Dr. James." Duh.

My blog is having issues with comments... and by issues I mean apparently no one can put comments. I have all the dealies enabled and tried messing around with the template and all that, but to no avail. I suppose I'll try working on it for a few more days before e-mailing tech support or whoever, because I just hate to bother people with dumb questions. I'm probably overlooking something really obvious, as I have been known to do.

Last night I watched "Mythbusters" and they did this experiment where they tried to determine if yawning is really contagious. Watching it, I must have yawned at least twenty times. I'm yawning right now as I think about it.

My sister has a cold again, as we just all barely got well a few weeks ago... if I catch it I will so hurt people, and by hurt people I mean complain to them. Not as if I have to worry about going off to work sick and all that. (I was going to insert a "stick out my tongue" thing here, but it seems I have no emoticons... bummer... and a :P just doesn't look right in the middle of a lot of text, the way it would look okay in an IM)

I need a new art-like hobby. I'm bored with making jewelry and also collages. I wish I could draw well, or paint. The only things I could ever paint were those coloring books where you dip the brush in plain water, and when you touch it to the page, the color comes out. I even messed those up, as I always had my brush too wet, and all the colors bled and leaked into each other.

The weather has been really nice these past few days... warm but with a nice breeze. I suppose I better enjoy it before the breeze goes away, and it gets all hot and ew.

Blogger was being all psycho when I was trying to write this, but luckily I did not lose my post. Here's what I added on when it worked again:

I read on IMDB that Julia Stiles is suing whoever, for "plotting" to keep her out of the film they're going to do of Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar"... I can't be bothered with the details of exactly how the conspiracy went, but if I'd been there, I would have been in on it too. Julia Stiles is possibly the worst actress ever... I would probably faint if she actually ever made a facial expression. When she smiles, she still never looks happy, and when she cries, I don't really believe she's sad. The only movie that features her that I can tolerate is "10 Things I Hate About You", and even then she can't manage to pull off a reasonable portrayal of a pissed-off teenage girl. If Plath had ever imagined JS in the starring role of her fictional self, she probably would have killed herself MORE SO, if that's possible.

Speaking of suicidal stuff (?), my computer still seems hell-bent on destructing. Today I had to start it up four times before it was sane, and then when I was looking at job postings, it made this scary-crazy-evil beeping sound... I almost jumped out of my chair, I was so startled. When I got it all back again, I finally installed McAfee and did a virus scan. All 27,838 files were clean. I almost wish I'd had something, as long as it could be fixed, of course. I am way too poor right now to take it to someone who could figure out what the problem is.

Her next of kin who lived in sin was asking god to let her in

I just decided to use that title because a few nights ago I had this dream that I was talking to someone about all this deep stuff, like god and whether he loves us and all this other stuff. It was weird because I didn't realize it wasn't real until I tried to remember who I had the conversation with, and when I couldn't, remembered it must have been a dream. I've been doing that a lot lately... d'oh.

There's something wrong with the keyboard tray of my computer desk. It keep shifting back and forth between being lower and higher, and it's really annoying. I've tried peering under it (best I can, because it's such a small space) to figure out what exactly is wrong, but hell if I can tell what's what. I'm pretty distrustful of this desk, anyway, because it's pretty much all glass and my monitor is so heavy that I'm always worried it's going to break. It's the only desk we have that will fit in the space I have, though. Oh well.

So I just did some writing, yay... the part I meant to finish last Friday. Oopsy. I am proud of myself for having hit the 70,000 words mark... and also scared because what happens next in the story is going to really make it or break it, and I don't know which.

Here's what a personality test had to say about me:

"Like a peach, you enjoy the juice of life it all its lush ripeness! You are the friendly sort, and are quite frank and outspoken, which adds to your charm. You are quick to forgive and forget; and value your friendships highly. You have an independent and ambitious streak in you, that makes you a real go-getter. You are the ideal lover, fiery and passionate but sincere and faithful in love. You don't however like to display all that passion in public."

I suppose some of that is true enough, but I think I may be more like a pear:

"If you put your mind to something you can do it successfully, but by and large you tend to be fickle and have trouble completing a task with the enthusiasm you started it with. You need to know the results of your efforts almost immediately. You enjoy mental stimulation and love to get into a good discussion!"

I really don't like pears, though. They're one of my most hated fruits... the texture of them is just weird to me. Bleh.

Last night I made dinner again. This time it was a tomato and zucchini bake. It actually came out really good, better than I expected - though next time I probably won't put in whole tomato slices (another texture thing). Anything drowned in cheese is generally good, though.

Can't tell if this is fantasy or culture shock

Including the second-season premiere that starts in ten minutes, I will have watched five hours of "Deadwood" today. Ow, my brain.

So I fixed up some things around the blog - I put the "navbar" at the top back on because I really do like to flip through it, and it's irritating having to go to someone else's blog to get to it. I also messed around some with the syndication/site feed thing... I'm not sure if that's how it's supposed to look, but whatever.

Last night there were some fireworks in town at the opening of a new park. It was pretty neat because we could see them from the front yard. The puppies weren't pleased, with Pepé going psycho, and T-Bone hiding as far back as he could under my parent's bed. Ha ha. It was dumb... the fireworks stopped with some dumb little ones, so we went back inside, and fifteen minutes later the finale goes on. I don't know a lot about explosives (hee hee), but was that much of a gap really necessary? Blah.

I actually made dinner last night. I made these apricot chicken wings that I really liked the flavor of (I'm going to mess with it more next time, though), and heated up this yum quiche from Costco. I so need to get a cookbook that's only quiches. Easy ones, of course.

The power went out last night, which isn't really big news, except that it prevented me from seeing the brownie I was eating (I can't stand eating in the dark, for some reason, even at the movies), and prevented my mom from finding out who won "Wickedly Perfect", a wickedly annoying show where lifestyle-guru-wannabes make crafts and throw parties while trying to impress Bobby Flay, Candace Bushnell, and some irritating bald guy. Yugh.

I'm not really afraid of the dark, but I don't like it when it's complete like that either. I don't know what was up, but all the streetlights were out, too, and you couldn't see a thing all around. I was probably freaked out because earlier in the day I was reading ghost stories online... such a bad habit. It did partly inspire this dumb dream I had:

I was at home, and walking up and down the staircase, but the stairs were different: spiral, and really narrow, so only one person could be on at a time. Eventually I wind up in the mall, and wander into a pet store. I get into a conversation with the guy who runs it about my fish, and about what I should clean the bowl with. There's another woman who works at the store, and she goes into this back room and never comes out. I go back there to see what happens, and all of the lights out are back there, and I know there is a ghost just behind this door, so I start throwing ice cubes at it.

The only thing that bothered me about this dream - how did I find ice cubes in a pet store, anyway?

Walks around in her boyfriend's clothes, nobody knows

This has to be a quick post, because "Judge Judy" starts in 24 minutes! Wait, I think it's a rerun. Well, the one at 4:30 definitely is.

I don't think too many of my posts have really been long long, but it always seems to take me a long time (no less than half an hour, and usually more like 45 minutes) to write them, even though they're about nothing in particular.

I think I must need new glasses because my eyes are troubling me so much more lately, especially at the computer. I could of course use it less often, but I don't really see that happening, especially because I want to start really writing again. This last month or two I have been really naughty and only working on stuff one or two days a week, and not very much at that. I got an important (and when I say "important" in reference to writing, I mean "difficult") section of ATGG done yesterday, and I just need to add a bit more tonight before I'll e-mail it over to JH.

It was raining this morning when I woke up, which was kind of a bummer after the past few nice days we've had. It stopped soon enough but it's still really cool out. I probably could have gone for a walk, but I used the Gazelle instead. I'm determined to start exercising more, because being fat just sucks, and it's totally all my fault for gaining back what I lost last year. Boo.

This afternoon I read the little local newspaper, and it has a section called "Siren Sounds" or something like that, listing police complaints and all that. There was one that was kind of funny, though it probably wasn't if you were one of the people invovled: Someone received minor injuries after being struck by a school bus. There were no more details other than that it was "under investigation." They could have at least told us, for instance, what minor injuries there were (struck by a bus!), and whether any students were on the bus at the time. Those are just the kinds of questions I have, when I read something like that.

Though, for crime, I apparently have to look no further than our own front yard. Two seemingly unrelated incidents were actually related, indeed:

1. Early in the morning (well, 8 AM or thereabouts), my mom points out that a car across the street has no tires. Odd, but insignificant to me, as it's not my car.

2. After returning from Lowe's my parents notice that some of the bricks my dad put around a little fruit tree he planted are missing.

The relation? Someone stole all four brand new tires and rims from the car across the street, but thoughtfully propped the car up (or whatever they did) with our bricks. An opportunist or a Good Samaritan? Decide for yourself.

Ah, crap. I just realized I forgot to watch last nights premiere episode of "Law and Order: Trial By Jury." Wait, is that what it's called? I'm really not making an obscure joke about how many L&O's there are, I honestly can't remember. Well, whatever the name is, I forgot to watch. And it has Briscoe! I'm sure NBC will run it again. Damn, I was still awake and vaguely functioning at 10:00, too.

Hey, here's a cheer to my local library, who mailed my card to me after I forgot it there earlier this week. Though I love books, I don't really like the library, just because the parking lot is small and it's not possible to park facing outwards the way I like to. But yes, it was for some reason busy the day I was there (Tuesday?), and there was this teacher or student-teacher (he looked youngish but was in charge of a bunch of kids) who was obviously itching to talk to the guy behind the counter, who was struggling to figure out exactly how many books I had on the holdshelf (four, and then I picked up two off the racks). So, I forgot my card, but never knew that I forgot, so wasn't I surprised to open a letter yesterday and find it there.

It was funny and dumb, but when I first looked at the envelope, I thought it was from psycho-stalker because my name and address was written in this marker, and all sloppy, like either a kindergartner (kindergartener? big words suck) or a stalker (in the movies they all have bad handwriting, anyway). Then I looked at the return address, and said "OH, I get it." I'm always imagining something silly like that.

"Judge Judy" in five minutes! I think she should take over Miss Manners' newspaper column, just because I like JJ, and hate MM. (Whoa, double initials... weird) Someone who tells you the proper utensils to use at a formal party - boring. Someone who calls your nine-year-old an idiot for throwing eggs at a car - awesome.

I don't know much but other singers know less

My eyes feel irritated right now, which is not really helped by staring at the computer screen, but I can't very well update using a pencil and piece of paper, can I? Oh well.

Monday evening LS came over and I made the yummy mini-cheesecakes... mmm. She amused me with talk about her teachers and other randomness.

Tuesday... what the hell did I do Tuesday? Nothing, I think, other than have a really terrible headache. I had to take some Excedrin and hide my face in a blanket so I could try to nap. I didn't, but eventually felt better.

Yesterday was kind of odd. I went to Costco with my parents and brother... it seemed like a good idea at the time, but as soon as I walk in, I immediately recall why I don't like shopping there. There's too many people, and all of them are pushing these super-sized carts overloaded with who knows what, and a lot of them try to run you over as you walk, and then give you a dirty look, as if you're purposely trying to block their path to the 100-roll pack of toilet paper.

After that, we stopped at Food Max (I can't decide if I love or hate their jingle... "Take it to the max! Maximize your shopping power, Food Max!") to get randomness. I can't remember the last time I was in that store... It was pretty much all good until we got to the checkout, and we had to bag our own groceries. Guh? I've so been spoiled, shopping at Raley's all the time. I would make a really terrible bag-girl... I was getting everything all discombobulated. Hey, just like in real life!

Tuesday night I'd gone through some cookbooks, looking for yum recipes, and last night I made one of them, a potato-and-onion casserole. It's pretty much just scalloped potatoes in a pan, with big chunks of onion in it. It came out fine, but I didn't care for it as much as I thought I would.

I've been more interested in cooking new things recently, or cooking regular things differently. It made me think of this thing I read in a book my mom bought - it's called "Be What You Are", or maybe "Do What You Are" - some kind of New Age-y title like that. It's about the different personality types (I'm an INTP) and about what kind of jobs they'd be good in, skills they need to refine, all that high school counselor jazz.

Anyway, in the book it also talks about some of the things people do when they start developing other traits that aren't really strong to their type, and it mentioned that those who are becoming more interested in things like cooking or listening to music are developing their "sensing", as opposed to either intuition or thinking, I forget which. So, yay me?

Then after we had dinner last night, one of my dad's friends and his wife came by to visit, and I got stuck in my room with Pepé for almost two hours, and he was barking the ENTIRE time. I wouldn't have minded it so much if I wasn't trying to catch up with the first season of "Deadwood." Grr. I also watched an episode of "Lost". It was neat, but I don't know if I'll watch it again, just because I can't stand to come into something in the middle. If I'd known Harold Perrineau was in it I would have watched the first episode, I think. Oh well. I'm not really down with the getting stuck on an island concept, anyway.

I don't know if it was just being annoyed about the dog or what, but last night I was in a really bad mood. It's generally like that for me - if I get upset about one, tiny dumb thing, I'll just be really pissed off about all the bigger things I didn't get mad about at the time they happened.

I either read an article or saw a news story about people controlling their high blood pressure through meditating, so I tried meditating, but it failed because I have no control over my brain, and whenever I tell myself to not think, I end up thinking more than I normally would. Grr.

That experiment having failed, I decided I should develop some romantic, not-so-secret drinking problem, a la Marissa on "The OC." I was too impatient to have anything that needed to be shaken or done in the blender, so I had a rum-and-coke, only it was actually a cherry-rum-and-vanilla-creme-soda. It was quite good, but it got warm really fast, and I couldn't be bothered to get any ice, so I drank only about 1/4 of it. So much for becoming a lush. I had to sit myself down and give a serious lecture to myself about that's why I don't drink much in the first place, because I know how I am... an addictive personality, if you believe in that kind of thing. A lot of people don't, which is understandable, because it kind of gives an excuse for people behaving badly. So, I now vow to never drink again!*

* Until EC comes back, hopefully soon, and makes me a pina colada, cause hers just rule.

But oui, I'm feeling fairly cheerful today, as much as I ever do. Tee hee. Even though Pepé slept upstairs, I woke up a few times during the night. I had this one neat dream, though, where it was my birthday and EC was here and we were hanging out. She had this old but nice-looking blue convertible we were driving around in. We were waiting to go somewhere, and Domenick Lombardozzi (from HBO's "The Wire") showed up and he thought the car was really cool, and we got into this big conversation with him and his girlfriend (?). I all of a sudden felt really self-conscious, so I went into the bathroom, and my teeth really needed to be brushed so I did, and also changed my outfit because I was in sweatpants and an old top. Man, even in my dreams I can't be cool.