If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers, wars without tears

Almost a week without blogging... I shouldn't have and yet I did.

Work has been okay. This entire first project is pretty much non-stop typing. Hands equal ow. I should really try to not get carpal tunnel syndrome.

Incidentally, in this first project I inadvertently (I like big "I" words today) found out my teacher's* address. I was going to send a Christmas card to him care of his work but now I can send it straight to the source. Does anyone think this will creep him out too much? This feeling kind of reminds me of my good old high school semi-stalking days.

*Class is supposed to be starting in an hour, and I don't really see myself going. Ever again, possibly. It's a combination of my laziness, my already bad grade, and... actually, that's it. But yeah, definitely not going tonight.

There's supposed to be some "big" storm tonight and early tomorrow. I like the rain, but only when I can stay at home... boo commuting. It actually hasn't been that bad so far (knock on wood). Though, I have been reminded all too well of how people's asshole-ocities increase when they drive.

Work Christmas party next week at my boss' house. I wasn't going to go but decided that I should... not just because it will probably be fun but because I have been thinking a lot lately (about myself, as usual) and I decided I need to get out more. New things, new people, new places, all that.

There's supposed to be a gift exchange - we don't have to participate in it but I want to, but I'm worried about taking something not nice enough. Apparently last year someone contributed a George Foreman grill. WTF? Gift exchanges are only fun when it's cheap stuff! Ideas I'm tossing around:

- "Scene It", which is a really cool game; but I'm afraid of ending up with it myself when I already own it.

- A really good bottle of either rum or vodka... but that kind of infringes on DD's idea of bringing a bottle of wine.

- Some nice unisex spa/beauty stuff, likely from Bath and Body Works.

And those are my only ideas. Any suggestions very appreciated.

I'm so bummed about "Prison Break" going away until March! Damn that Jack Bauer! I want to know what happens... also, I may perish without Weekly Wentworth.

On Demand has started "The Sopranos" over from the beginning and I watched most of the first episode on Monday. It was amusing in that weird way that only HBO doing the mob could be amusing.

Okay, my last TV tidbit: this week's TV Guide has the schedule for HBO's shows next year. The lineup (as I remember it, which may be wrong):

March: "Deadwood"
June: "Entourage"
September: "The Wire"

It's not fair that "Six Feet Under" is no longer on. Sniff.

Good, big update on Friday, promise.

When it comes to the other way around you say you just want to use me

Happy (late) Thanksgiving!

I don't know what's up with me but I have been just plain tired for the last three days. I feel like I could sleep right now.

Wednesday, I went to work for just a few hours. My first project is entering all this stuff into a database for JC's wife's salon... swear, he brought in the list of the client info and the stack of paper is like two feet high. Seriously. But there are only four or five clients (at most) on each page. I got through all the A's and into the B's that day... I would've had more but I had some issues installing the program at first.

Wednesday night, I made three out of four of my contributions to the T-Day meal, yay that. The zucchini quiche, the cranberry sauce, and the bread pudding. My fourth thing, the orzo salad, was modified somewhat as I realized yesterday that I had neglected to buy any orzo. Duh. So it was just a veggie mix of broccoli, this neat yellow squash, and zucchini. In a moment of random genius I added some chopped up pineapple. Drool. Also there were almonds. I'm making this again tonight, but without the zucchini, and with cashews instead. Despite my drowning this all in olive oil and salt, I try to convince myself that this is a healthy meal.

Yesterday was pretty neat-o... lots of food and family and all. Pepé was a little bit bad... d'oh.

I was going to wake up early this morning to go shopping at Target, but was so tired when I went to bed last night that I decided to not set the alarm. I woke up around 7:30, and finally decided to go out around 10. Lots of people, but only one psychotic lady, who was screaming at this Target guy because she'd brought her ad with her and someone stole it (huh?) and now she didn't know what was on sale, and wouldn't know what to buy. People are irritating.

I didn't stay long - twenty minutes, maybe. I found two things for my sister so now I just need maybe one more item for her Christmas present. For myself, I was good and bought only one thing... this big orange and purple jar of "warming sugar body polish." I can't resist exfoliat-y products.

I was excited about the "Roseanne" marathon on Oxygen today, but they're all episodes they've shown recently. That's not how you're supposed to do marathons, dude! I'll have to watch "Law and Order" all day instead... word. I love that show but it will do very nicely to put me to sleep. I don't know why I need a nap so badly; I didn't even stuff myself on leftovers. Yet. Hee.

As for being thankful for stuff, here is my list. You know I can never take things too seriously (except when I shouldn't), so excuse my irreverence in naming silly stuff.

- Family, for raising and nurturing and tolerating me
- The First Amendment, and hey, why not all those other ones, too
- Food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive
- LS's amusing call last night about her own yummy Thanksgiving, EC's call yesterday, and all of JH's calls to check on me
- Work and the paycheck earned from it
- Soft, cozy argyle socks
- Public libraries
- The abilities to read, think, reason, write, decide, etc.
- Pets, the only creatures on earth who love unconditionally
- Naked Chris Meloni*

*I looked through my stats this week and someone found my site by looking for that very thing. Dude, I wish I did have naked Chris Meloni (IRL instead of just on DVD). On that note, I must be excused.

Can I sleep in your shadow

Guess who is employed again!

Sort of.

My old boss called yesterday about some projects they need done so I went out there today to learn more. There's a few different ones that will take me pretty much through December, at least.

We discussed my staying on after that doing accounting stuff (after getting training). I'm pretty much okay with that but from what JC is saying he still needs someone doing more personal assistant stuff that I'm not into. So, I may or may not stay on depending on how I feel about it, or if he accepts my doing only accounting and not the "ugh" stuff (me doing accounting would leave him a few minutes to call his own doctor or dentist or whoever, wouldn't it?), and blah blah blah.

It's going to be kind of weird, being back at the office after having left. I felt weird just being there today. I had the weird urge to do stuff I used to do when I was there (general straightening up, etc).

One big plus to this entire situation: More money. As in per hour, and in general as well I suppose. Hey, I'll actually get to complete my Christmas shopping.

It was nice to see (almost) everyone again, though. RH dug my peach cobbler* even though he was feeling sickly. Note to self: do not get sick, Thanksgiving is in two days. Man, I'm so grabbing an Odwalla tomorrow on the way in to the office**.

* To my shame, it was not homemade; it was from the Banquet baking kit. But I added some brown sugar, spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice), vanilla and maple to make it more yum. I had a bite of it at the office to test it and it was actually quite good.

** Just to get acquainted with the computer program I'm using on my first project, involving JC's wife's business. I'm going to actually start working next Monday.

I am so dumb, LS called me this morning before I left and I didn't recognize her voice. I'm not a genius.

Right now my mom is making my brother do all these chores... ha ha! He's always bugging, "What can I do around here for extra money?", and she gave him a list, and gave him the money first... not good, mom. But now she's giving him the what-for. That rules.

Plus, he is going to do my most-hated Thanksgiving: dusting the dining room table chairs. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Let's see, what have I got to do for Turkey Day?

- Vacuum bedroom (tomorrow)
- Cranberry sauce (tomorrow)
- Zucchini quiche (probably tomorrow)
- Orzo salad (probably Thursday)
- Bread pudding (probably Thursday)
- Quick-clean bathroom (Thursday); I did the deep-clean on Sunday, swear.

And of course my mom will probably have more stuff to add. I like having lists, and then completing them. Unlike other things, which I never complete...

Right now I am angry at myself for not working on more short stories this month, as I was supposed to. Only the one, which I haven't looked at in probably a week. And the month is pretty much over. Would someone please tell me why I am the laziest, stupidest, worst writer ever?

I miss "Good Girls." The binder is just sitting there in my closet, all lonely and un-looked at. Unread by the masses. Unfinished. Just eight more days and I can go crawling back...

I can hurt myself more than you ever could

I so don't get the policies behind editing movies for TV. Right now TNT is showing "The Craft" and they edited Fairuza Balk saying she was "getting her rag" into "getting her rat" (whatever that means - though, they left the original in the close captioning). But, they leave in Breckin Meyer calling Robin Tunney a "snail trail." Whatever.

My dentist appointment Thursday went well, I suppose. We're putting off my x-rays until next time since I haven't had any issues, and as my hygienist says, my teeth "always look so good." That's nice to hear.

After that I stopped at the mall and coveted everything in Bath and Body Works. Not fair... I so want the new Tutti Dolci lip glosses (they have like a holiday pack with Apple Torta, Tiramisu, and Amaretti). Also the cranberry lotion. And also everying else! Damn poor-ity.

Friday, we had our carpets cleaned and spent way too much outside with the confused puppies. Heh. I lost at air hockey to both my brother and my mom... bummer. We also played a game of Uno that went on for two hours... and it hadn't even finished yet. It would have gone on longer but I was starving for lunch. Potato chips are my god.

Ooh, that reminds me - yesterday I was looking through a catalogue of my mom's that has food-y stuff like the cheese logs, dips, sausages, and so on. It wasn't the Swiss Colony, but similar. To get to the point: they have chocolate-dipped potato chips. Finally, someone has comprehended the need for something salty-sweet.

Yesterday I didn't get up to much other than making greeting cards while watching old school Lifetime movies. I've pretty much used up the entire card kit I got at Michael's some months back... I want to get another when I'm employed again, or as a Christmas gift. I like putting the cards and little stickies together. Like collages you give away, basically. I might scan the ones I made yesterday and put them up here, I'm so proud. I'm a nerd.

Last night after "Cops", my mom and I watched "Mindhunters." God, wo knew you could make a movie with like half a dozen characters and have each and every one of them be so unlikeable? Also, I think the movie made me have a dream about being in the FBI. Subconscious, FYI, I'd rather dream about Christian Slater's ass. Whee.

I couldn't fake it to save my life

Just in case you were wondering, I am not still sitting here from last night... yay that. I went to bed around eleven after finishing writing a scene that I don't really like (both what happens in it and the way it's written). So I'm kind of obsessing over this story, and trying not to because this November is supposed to be about not ignoring every story except for one. Must walk away, must work on other stuff.

I probably wouldn't even have been up until eleven if I hadn't taken a big time-out in the middle of writing to clean up my gmail and send a note to EC. I know the idea of having so much space (over 2 gigabytes) is supposed to be so you don't have to delete anything, but I went through and did a major cleanup. I went from about 70 MB used to about 20. The bulk of it were those daily vocabulary things from Dictionary.com. I almost never read them, so I unsubscribed and then deleted all the ones I had.

My desk is cluttered right now with a stack of books I picked up from the library on Saturday. I don't know if I've ever been there during the weekend; it was neat to be able to actually find a parking space in that lot. I have this bad habit with library books of either: A, Taking several and reading them all within one week; or B, Taking several and not reading any of them. I could avoid that by only getting one or two books at a time, but it's just not my style. Only choosing five books on Saturday shows real restraint for me.

I'm listening to Lillix right now. According to their official website they're supposed to have a new album out this coming spring. It's about time, I've been waiting.

My horoscope said that today I would have the mad urge to get out of the house, and shop. So true... but unfortunately, no money to shop with. And window shopping depresses me; I only like to look at pretty things when I can actually buy them. It's a good thing that doesn't apply to hot guys (only being able to look when they're attainable), cause I'd spend a whole lot of time looking at nothin'.

Yesterday I was messing around with my keychain camera and took some pics of myself, hoping to catch at least one cute one. The best one, unfortunately, cuts off the top of my head, and one of my eyes looks way bigger than the other (maybe it is and I never noticed). I also took a bunch of my various purses so I can actually add some content to the site this weekend.

Two unpleasant things coming up this week, the first being a dentist appointment tomorrow. What a drag. And I'm going to have my first x-rays in like two years... I just better not have a cavity, that's all I know. The second thing, which is going to be just annoying, is professional carpet cleaners coming on Friday morning. In case you are just tuning in, my dogs don't take well to visitors.

They had a grooming appointment on Monday, so now they look ugly. Hee. At least they smell nice. While they were at their thing, my mom and I stopped by this new bakery/deli to see if they were open yet. They weren't, but let us try a sample. Cheese bagels rule. They opened yesterday and I went by to get a bunch of bagels... cheese, jalapeno, plain, sesame, multi-grain (totally weird looking), and... who knows what else. I have a big, picky family.

I took them over by my grandprents' first, to see if they wanted any. My grandma took one just to try, because she's never had a bagel before. Huh? But then I thought, not only are there a lot of things I've never eaten, but also a million things I would never eat. But bagels rule. It reminded me of the "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Robert's and Amy's parents met, and Amy's dad insisted he had never eaten a muffin, which infuriated Robert's parents. Ha.

They've been showing the most kickass episodes of "The Simpsons" this week. Including the one where Bart gets a fake driver's license and he goes on a road trip with Milhouse, Nelson and Martin. "I spent our last ten dollars on this Al Gore doll!" Classic.

I have this issue with my bed in that there's some kind of metal rods sticking out right at the edge... um, that's not good. The dealer that sold it to us went out of business (of course), so we've been in touch with the actual mattress company and they sent us a camera to take pictures to send back to them. It was so neat using it... I so felt like a CSI.

I just hope our claim doesn't get rejected because my dad took a couple of pictures of the dogs. Heh. The way they look with no hair, the people are going to say, "Dude, why did they send us pictures of rats?"

Okay, I had this garlic pasta-roni for lunch and it was not exactly beneficial to my breath... must go eat toothpaste.

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

Dammit, I'm going to finish writing this lurid sex scene tonight if it kills me.

And just for the record, I do not appreciate this painful cramping thing my left big toe keeps doing.

Real entry tomorrow. Promise. I may even still be sitting here at my desk, hopeless, when the time comes.

You know how it feels to reach too high, too far, too soon

Wow, I didn't mean to let so many days go by (well, only four) before posting again. I have determined to become, if not a better blogger, a more prolific one. Quantity, not quality, a la NaNoWriMo philosophy.

First: A big thanks to my fellow Californians for rejecting not just Prop 73, but every ridiculous thing on the ballot. You had me worried, dudes, but you've proved (y)our awesomeness once again.

Second: Speaking of ridiculous people (such as the governor), what's up with that crazy-ass Margaret Perrin who was featured on the last two episodes of FOX's (of course) "Trading Spouses"? I think even Mike Tyson might be scared of her, if they met. For those of you fortunates who missed the show, she thinks astrology is evil (or "dark-sided", as she kept saying... no doubt she'd find my blog terribly dark-sided), and had a near-panic attack at meeting this psychic guy, who she later referred to as "a dweeb." Harsh, Mrs. Perrin.

Long story short: She rejected the $50,000 appropriated to her family by the dark-sided hypnotherapist who stayed with them... but then later decided to take it. Of course!

Yesterday, the family went out to Ruby Tuesday in Woodland. I was somewhat worried about my dad's driving, as usual, but it was not bad at all. Plus, we saw some sheep and a llama. They're so ugly, I want one. Lunch itself was pretty yum, though I think I still prefer Chili's. However, Ruby Tuesday wins on the fried cheese stick front... best ever. And the blackberry lemonade kind of ruled. I was nearly already full by the time main dish (I had a bacon cheddar burger) came around so I took half of it home for dinner... mmm, leftovers.

Oh: And on Thursday, I convinced my mom to make the genius macaroni and cheese... I didn't realize it was so complicated. Damn that (evil) genius Martha Stewart.

You know what bugs me? When you can trace something in your dream to a very obvious, real-life source. In yesterday's new episode of "Degrassi: The Next Generation", this kid was throwing around one of those baby dolls that you have to take care of, with the computer chip inside to tell your instructor how well you did. Anyway, last night I had this dream:

I'm in this art class, and waiting for it to start, and walking around the building which is super creepy. I'm off by myself and all of a sudden this baby doll falls out of the ceiling and thumps on the floor. I look up, and there's a trap door with this guy peeking out. He throws another baby doll that I manage to catch. He comes down just as the instructor is coming in, and they explain to me that since I'm the best student in the class (huh?), I have to continue the tradition of making a super-realistic baby doll. I suppose that tradition would include throwing said doll at the new best student, the next time the class is held.

I only have a few issues, right?

This was given to me when I stole it from my father

So last week I was on my cleaning/organizing binge, and now this week seems to be the opposite. I have things piling up on my desk and floor, and the layer of dust on the TV is looking positively unfriendly. Eek.

Today was good old Election Day... I am awaiting with trepidation the results of the vote on the reprehensible Prop. 73 (parental notification/waiting period for termination of a minor's pregnancy). Why do the governor and other people have to be so argh?

I don't know if they do this everywhere (doubtful), but when I voted today there was this weird gray machine that took the ballots, which were flat instead of all folded and irritating. I don't know if that machine actually counts the votes for various things (again, doubtful), but it counts at least the number of voters at that particular precinct and I was number 110... not bad at 11 in the morning.

Also, when I went back out into the parking lot, these three boys were leaning against my car. Note to you guys: Don't do that. They moved when I got in and started it up, but really. My Jeep, while admittedly not in the best of condition, is not your leaning post. Move your ass elsewhere, thanks!

I don't know what's up with my computer, but when visiting certain websites recently (always Snopes for some reason), it starts up this thing with wanting to install something from the MS Office 2000 SR-1 patch. Huh? Cut it out! If I "cancel" before letting it tell me it can't find the source disk, Internet Explorer has to close. I suppose I could solve this by putting in the SR-1 CD (which I do have somewhere), but it just bothers me not knowing why it's doing what it's doing.

One last amusing note: Today I printed out a job appliation that included one of those supplemental, optional Equal Opportunity Employment pages that asks for sex (which one you are, not whether you'll give), race, and so on. Besides the usual major categories, they have more options under Asian and Hispanic. Now check out the choices under Hispanic:

- Chicano
- Cuban
- Hispanic
- Mexican
- Mexican-American
- Other Spanish-Hispanic

From my indifferent understanding of the terms, 'Chicano', 'Hispanic', and 'Mexican-American' all mean basically the same thing. So... which one am I supposed to check off? All of them? Which one is the most hip? Which one is the most politically correct? Maybe I should call and complain them not listing 'Latino' (because isn't that also the same? I should have paid more attention in Raza Studies). I'll just write this at the bottom:

"My last name is Hernandez, you figure it out which one it is, I have better things to do!*"

*I probably don't have anything better to do, which is why I'm blogging about something so irrelevant, but hopefully they won't know that, and will hire me accordingly. Then again, they're not supposed to see this information before hiring anyway.

I've been dawdling all day on working on my new short story... I had really wanted to finish today so I could come on here and brag about finishing it in three days when I never finish anything at all. I probably won't get it completed tonight... but four days is still pretty good, right?

Had a few beers, getting high, sitting, watching the time go by

Things I don't appreciate:

- Sinus pain. Ugh... Sudafed doesn't do a damn thing.
- Pepé getting sick on my bed last night. Ew... poor little puppy.
- T-Bone's ear bothering him. Poor lovey.

Actually, those are the only things I don't appreciate right now... so for a Monday, I guess I'm doing pretty good.

Things I do appreciate:

- Yum chicken for dinner last night. There's a lot left, and this huge ass tub of organic lettuce my dad got from Costco, so tonight I think I'm going to do chinese chicken salad.
- The one-and-a-half Hurricanes I drank yesterday, courtesy of my dad... let me tell you, I thought I was tipsy after the two daiquiris I had on my birthday, but those Outback bartenders have got nothing on my dad.

Most of all, I appreciate actually writing yesterday! I started a new short* story and wrote for a very good part of the day. Started actually writing around 3 PM, took a break between 6 and 8 for dinner, dishes and telephone calls, and then wrote again until 10. In my excitement, I regrettably missed the Simpsons Halloween special (do they not realize it's already fucking November, BTW?), and only half-watched a two hour "Law & Order Criminal Intent" that actually looked really interesting. Well I'm an idiot.

*It's already longer than I'd anticipated, but I do tend to overdo things. Right now it's about 5,000 words and it's about half-done. At least I'm enjoying myself... you know what is still really strange to me about writing after all these years? Enjoying doing the actual writing even when it's about horrible stuff. (And, since it is me, enjoying it even when the writing turns out to be literally horrible)

Okay, so I kept hearing/seeing news items about Jennifer Aniston (whoop-de-doo), and they all kept referencing her new movie "Derailed", but I didn't realize until I saw the trailer like last week, that it was based on the book I read and semi-liked. Just because I can't imagine Jennifer Aniston competent enough to portray any role in it, especially the part she's in (I'd explain why but it'd be a major spoiler. In fact, even mentioning that it's a spoiler is almost a spoiler). Is it wrong that I'm still disliking JA just because of her part in "Friends", one of the most irritating and overrated TV shows of all time?

I don't know if Dr. Pepper does anything to help relieve sinus pain, but I'm about to find out.

It's a silence that you own, it's not commonly shown

The walls of my room are becoming even more covered with various stuff... yay? Yesterday I spent lots of time, yet not enough effort, in putting up:

- Masks I got at thrift stores last week
- My 'Fashion' collage that's been hanging out on my floor
- These three neat Virgin Mary plaques I got at this awesome 99-cent store this week

Also, I put up a little pic of Gavin Newsom I clipped from a 'Vote no on 75' dealy that came in the mail yesterday. I've always wanted to have a little space on my wall dedicated to all the hot guys in the world, but I never get around to it; mostly because I'm always out of color ink (why is that?) and any I'd print out would look hella dumb. So I guess I'm going to have to settle for things clipped from reputable (or not) publications. This past week's TV Guide has a few different ones of Wentworth Miller... yay that.

But yeah, the 99 cent store? It rocks my world. Besides the VM plaques, I also got some lip balm (as if you didn't see that coming... it was a 2-pack of 'Bahama Berry' and coconut... delish) and a couple Totally Juicy/Freeman things. I rule.

My mom and I also stopped by at Big Lots, formerly MacFrugall's, where I walked out with... nothing. Sob. They had the new Love's perfumes pack I mentioned (Baby Soft, Vanilla, Berry Blue, something else) for only $6.99, but in a moment of rare lucidity I decided against buying stuff that may smell like crap (not literally, you know what I mean).

In order to fulfill my WDA (weekly daily allowance) of junk food, today I went by Raley's to pick up appetizer-y stuff to have a huge, junk food-y dinner. Mmm. On the menu: potato skins, potato & cheese pierogies, Cruncheros, um... other stuff to stuff my face. Word. I love having appetizers as a meal, because it's like being at a party.

Oh: I had a really odd, slept-on-my-left-side dream last night, that I actually vaguely remember. A big group of us - me, EC, LS, JH, PD, and a few other people - were going to a U2 concert. Some girl we were hanging out with had gotten like eight tickets from her dad and so we started the drive, which was really long. We stopped once in the middle and got all switched around in our seats, and the girl (whose SUV we were taking) decided to drive this little matching scooter she kept in the very back. Long story short, she crashes and has to go to the hospital, and the rest of us decide to not go to the concert even though it means her dad is out all that money. Harsh.

This week I sat down and attempted a shot at an outline for NaNoWriMo, and... couldn't get out a single word. It was super frustrating, as have all my writing attempts been lately... though I think I may know why. In my organizing-craze this week, I went through my writing binder and looked through snippets I have of several (unfinished) short stories and realized I haven't worked on any of them since starting "All the Good Girls" last November (actually October, because that whole month was about outlining).

To me, it feels like having a bunch of friends that I just love and want to hang out with, but instead I've been spending a year ignoring them and chasing one certain friend who is minimally and infrequently interested in playing with me. Well, I guess we all known obsession is nothing new to me.

So I have, right this very minute, decided this: I will not work on "Good Girls" the rest of this month. Not one word until December 1. Neither will anything be done about my doomed NaNo2005 project. November is going to be all about the little friends I ignored in the name of one mammoth pricktease. Or whatever the literary equivalent of a pricktease is.

There's an army on the dance floor

That organic mango lip balm I bought is actually ginger mango... and this stuff is the worst-smelling lip balm ever. I haven't even put any on, it's so gross. So unless I can find someone who could actually tolerate it, this stuff is going into the garbage. God am I dumb.

On Halloween, I finally settled down some after crying all day (damn girly hormones) and watched "Halloween"... I love that movie, I know it by heart. I wish I was in it. I would so have Jamie Lee Curtis' role, as I'm way too plain to be killed in a horror movie. Sigh.

We had a lot of trick-or-treaters this year; in fact so many that there was no leftover candy. All I got were a few of the little Herschey bars (drool) and one cherry Starburst sucker (not so great). Bummer.

I heard back about the other job I had interviewed for; didn't get it. I'm annoyed, by various things:

- I called and left her a voicemail; she told me I didn't get it in an e-mail. Harsh. Did she not think I could take hearing it?
- Before this job and the other that was across the street, I'd never interviewed for a job and didn't get.
- I did want some time off between jobs, I don't know if I wanted this much. It's been a month, yo.

I saw my old bosses on the news this morning, talking to the contemptible Darya Folsom. She's such a dork; later on in the newscast, she and the other anchors were discussing Charles and Camilla's visit to the Bay area (BFD, could they make me yawn any louder?) and it got into a thing about different British foods. Such as the infamous Spotted Dick, which they showed a picture of but didn't say the name. They continued blathering on and someone asked Darya if she knew what it was. "I thought it was a disease," she said, not seriously, but as if she thought she'd put something really clever over on everyone. Shut up Darya!

The right side of my neck was hurting some this week, so I decided to give it a break and sleep on my left side, with a somewhat interesting result (at least to me, I doubt you give a crap). I have extra-weird dreams, but can't remember them when I wake up. There must be a science to this, don't you think? And I've tried sleeping on my back to see what that does, but all I ever get is that falling and-jumping thing. I hate that feeling.

Wednesday night I stayed home from class... I believe I may drop it. I really don't want this to turn into July 2004 or April 2003 or (you get the idea) all over again, but school's not doing much for me right now. Let's face it, nothing much does, because I can't make myself care enough about anything...

Please excuse the (extra) whining that has plagued my blog for awhile, and may continue for awhile more. I haven't been a very big fan of myself and the things I've done and do and will do, lately. I'm not into anything you could stage an intervention for, but there are quite a few things I need to change in my life. There's just this huge gap between who I am and who I want to be, not to mention who I'm supposed to be, that I can't deal with any longer. So I have to change who at least one of those people are, if not all three of them.

Or maybe this is just the holiday blues.