You took me by surprise, now you're always on my mind

Having a cold bites. I went to work on Monday and realized I was sicker than I felt. I pretty much couldn't say more than two sentences (in a quiet voice) without busting up into a coughing fit. The other tutor was also sick, heh. I seem to be able to talk okay now, but I still can't laugh. All that comes out is this weird, whispery "Heh" sound.

Something strange: My kit that contains all the school supplies has this stopwatch/timer. Monday night at two, I hear this beeping and it's that timer. Huh? I turn off the alarm, and am just falling back asleep when it goes off again. Not cool. So I turn it off again, and take it all the way into the laundry room just so I won't be able to hear it. Ha, I won! Not really, because I brought it back in my room yesterday... and last night, there it goes at 2:15. Um, I didn't set this thing, and it hasn't left my house in a couple weeks... creepy. I should probably read the instruction manual. Meh.

Wait, manual? That doesn't look right... it's not manuel... Me + Tylenol Cold = can't spell.

So yeah, I didn't make it to class Monday night which is too bad, because the homework instructions seem confusing to me. I'll skip a dose of cold meds this evening and see if I'm clear enough to get it. I'd e-mail my teacher but he hasn't answered the last two I sent. The homework is all about adding/editing stuff in the stories we've already done though, so it shouldn't be that bad. I'd already changed "Accomplices" anyway so maybe I am actually ahead. Wouldn't that be neat.

I decided late last week to not continue with part two. It's pretty much unnecessary. I like having the open ending at the first one (but since I know what happens next that is probably unfair). Ah well.

Yesterday was spent in restful recovery time. I watched the last two episodes of "Sleeper Cell." Though the finale is strangely anticlimactic considering some of the earlier stuff, I enjoyed the series very much. I'll miss Alex Nesic and the French accent, whoo hoo.

I also spent awhile working on some cards for the kids in tutoring. I just put their name on the front, decorated with stickers and such and wrote a note to each of them inside. Sometime next week I'll stop by the scrapbook store and get little sheets of stickers to put inside. Though working with kids is always a challenge for me and they can be trying at times, they have all been great and are really sweet.

I need lunch but nothing sounds good. Last night for dinner I had a (Stouffers?) panini that was quite yum. My sense of taste and smell is a bit off, but not enough to put me off eating. When sick I try to eat better (or if not better, than at least more, heh heh)... got to keep my strength up, you know. Yesterday my mom did some shopping and I had her get a couple of the Odwalla Vitamin C Monster drinks. Get to work, vitamins, because I have to go to work tomorrow.

The way I feel now, it's like I don't know nothing

I have a cold, or maybe just a really annoying painful cough. This sucks!

Tutoring on Thursday was okay, very low pressure... we finished up testing with the kids and will resume regular lessons Monday. Er, tomorrow.

Improv Thursday night was lots of fun although I am obviously very out of practice. And we didn't do "Interrogation"... sob.

On Friday, I finally got paid! My first two tasks were to fill up my car and pay my Mervyn's bill (it was smallish though, like $40). Though I was tempted to go shopping I didn't, unless you count the powdered donettes (shut up) and black cherry lemonade (orgasmically delicious) at the gas station mart.

Yesterday: Ruled. LS's housesitting was off but we had a great time anyway, with dinner at the Elephant Bar and seeing Hal Sparks at this comedy club. HAL SPARKS! He's so funny... his references to creepy guy from "Silence of the Lambs" cracked me up. After that we stopped by Hooter's and I had some jalapeno cheese fries... they were pretty good but I wish they didn't have beans in them. Beans are weird. And after getting lost for hella days we went to one of LS's friend's apartment. His cat rules, unlike his car (an Acura Integra I think?) which we had a very squished ride in after the show back to our parking garage.

Good times... I got home around two and went straight to bed but I don't feel as if I slept all night. I'm so going right to sleep after "The Sopranos" and "Big Love" tonight. I love getting the HBO East channel so I can watch it earlier.

I know this is a brief entry but I feel wiped out. My bad.

It hurts to watch you burn cause you won't keep me warm

Last night I made myself sit down and write so I could have something to take to the morning writers club today. It's a haunted house story. I have wanted for a really long time to write a horror piece but have never been able to come up with a good idea. I don't know if this one is either, but I have enjoyed working on it. And everyone at writer's club seemed to be into it also, so I shall continue.

Heh, I totally got busted on doing 1.5 line spacing instead of true double. Boy was my face red. It's just such a bummer being limited on what you're able to take in (four pages double spaced, which is around 1,000 words... and for someone who carries on like I do it's hard to get much said in that kind of space).

I had a sinus headache all morning and we're unfortunately out of the good Sudafed. Being too cheap to go buy some, instead I just took some Excedrin Migraine which seems to be working. That and Dr. Pepper makes my brain feel all happy. But ugh, my stomach is way too full from this great sandwich I had for lunch. I had grilled cheese and salami on slices of this Romano bread my dad bought.

Since I didn't mention any TV at all last time (I think?) I'll make some random comments:

"The Sopranos" season 6 is already going fabulously at two episodes. I just hope the writers are smart enough to not keep this coma thing going for too long. Tony's dream where he isn't himself is fascinating. Being a dreamophile myself, I've always appreciated this show's willingness to go dive into the subconscious. They ought to teach a class about this. Hell, if someone buys me the DVD of every season I'll teach it myself. But yeah, the episode Sunday was great, especially the closeted Vito's remark about this guy who killed himself possibly being gay. It's pretty clear that Vito's sexuality is going to be revealed this season and I can't wait to see what happens. I also look forward to Dr. Melfi's return.

"Big Love" deserves kudos if for no other reason than already multiple showings of Bill Paxton's ass. With "Six Feet Under" gone it's nice to know we can still count on Sunday night for male nudity (though I will be glad to never have to see a dead guy boner again). The complex relationships between him and his wives, and between all the wives themselves, is interesting so far but we'll have to see if it becomes tiresome.

"Black/White" last night was both interesting, and cracked me up. The black mom really ripped her kid a new one for buying a $150 watch. Bruno (the white dad) was still in denial about racism when he and his wife went into the Chatsworth country-ish bar and were glared at by nearly every white person there, but was clearly affected by the reactions to him (in black makeup) and his wife (as herself) in Leimert Park.

I'm waiting impatiently for April, when "Epitafios" will return to HBO Latino and supposedly show up OnDemand. I'm so going to tape it for what will be the long wait for season two and/or the first season on DVD.

I'm going to go rest the old brain and eyes for awhile before leaving for work.

You're staring at something you're never gonna see

Do you ever have that thing where there are so many things to do, that you can't get any of them done? Right now, that's me! On my plate, in no particular order:

- Creative Writing homework
- Job hunt
- Accomplices pt. 2
- Dust and vacuum bedroom
- Catch up on "Sleeper Cell"
- Work on new story, or old one, for writers club tomorrow
- Laundry
- Take dogs for walks
- Re-paint nails

I realize this is all pretty low-pressure stuff but it's driving me nuts that I can't pick! Okay, I'll prioritize. Homework I'll do tomorrow morning since I already have my lesson plan for tutoring done. I'll dust and vacuum right after blogging, because having a cleaner room will make me feel better. I'll have lunch, then put in a load of laundry before taking out the dogs. That only leaves... hella stuff! Bah!

Amusant: When I was at the 99-cent store last week (I may have already mentioned this) I bought some cherry-scented (I almost said flavored, but you wouldn't wanna eat these) nail polish remover wipes. Well, I discovered why they were at such a low price: They don't work! Seriously! So I after I used my regular stuff I painted my nails with this old purple sparkly Hot Topic polish I have... and it already looks really bad. Le sigh.

At tutoring on Monday, we had to spend some time doing standardized tests (yay bubbling) with the kids. This took out a big chunk of time out of my lesson* so I'll continue that on Thursday.

*I was actually glad for that, as I was PMS-ing at the time and in the one game we did play I felt completely out of control of everything. Tomorrow I'll be back in top form... as much as I ever am with kids, anyway.

Creative Writing was pretty good. We read through "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been" and read some more stuff written by other students. Yay that. Teach mentioned that he and some other English dept. chick are trying to put together a thing in May for us to read some of our stuff. This will be like the "Word Fest" thing I was in a couple years ago... man that was good times. Maybe I should write something more family-friendly this time...? Nah.

Last night I watched "Prison Break" that I set to record Monday night... Wentworth Miller is not just a man, he's a god. A really sexy god that I want to do blasphemous things to. Um... let's move on.

In my most recent attempts to print stuff, my printer still hates me. And I'm already running low on black ink which I just replaced last month. My dad bought the cartidges so there may be another one hidden somewhere in the house... if not, I will be SOL as I don't have the money to buy one myself. That's right people, as of an hour ago I still have not been paid! Excuse me while I fly over to HQ in Chicago and start kicking some ass.

I'm off to labor upon my list.

EDIT: UGH I JUST STUBBED MY TOE HELLA HARD AND I WANT TO DIE.

Another illustration of diverted desperation

Yay for the first official day of spring... even if it is raining outside right now. And yay for my 200th entry! Blah. Forgive my totally fake enthusiasm this morning, I'm tired and kinda bored.

The work meeting at Starbucks on Wednesday was thankfully brief. I had one of those bottled frappucino things, but it was a coffee-free strawberries and cream. It was tasty and very pink... just like the shoes and purse I had that day, which meant my boss wanted to steal them. Hee hee...

Session on Thursday was OK. The other tutor didn't prep before hand - big fucking surprise there, sweetie - supposedly because her boyfriend had food poisoning. To her words, they went out to dinner Wednesday night but he wasn't sick until early Thursday morning. You didn't have ten minutes between then to do it? She got lucky and the lesson had almost no prep. Naturally the one I'm doing for today's session needs lots of work.

I felt bad... this one boy in the class came back in around 4:35 (we'd ended a bit early, about 4:25) and used my cell phone to call his mom. I guess she didn't answer so he called his aunt, who did get the mom, who called me back with this distressed story about how she's getting a divorce and was on the phone with the lawyer, which is why she forgot to pick up her son. She drove right over and was there in ten minutes and tried to give me ten bucks for staying in front with her kid. Aw. I had to reassure her about a hundred times that was okay, that I appreciated her at least getting in touch with me to let me know her ETA and that I could not accept the money.

Heh, funny kid story: Last monday another girl's ride was late* and when she showed up, the girl told me all dramatically: "I am a very depressed woman... I'm going to go home, watch "White Chicks" and eat ice cream!" She really is a drama queen.

*I think it's the dad's girlfriend. The other tutor once referred to the lady as the girl's mom, and the girl was all "SHE'S NOT MY MOM." Later I asked the girl, "Is that a family friend of yours?" and she said, "She lives with me" - in her tone being very clear that I should get my nose of out of her business immediately. I got told. By a ten year old, no less.

So Thursday night instead of going to improv I went to this writer's club here in Brentwood. It was three other people, two writers and then the guy's wife. They're all older people and I felt kinda guilty using the word "motherfucker" in front of them. I guess if I didn't want to say it I shouldn't have written it but there you go... going over my second draft of "Accomplices" I found a bunch of little mistakes and things to fix. How... annoying.

But yeah, the meeting was really cool and I'm going to try to get to the day group this week. I got home pretty early, and just in time to talk to EC on the phone, yay! I miss that girl hella bad... it's not as if I never talk or do stuff with my other friends but EC & I were always hanging out together and are so much alike. She should be living back here in CA with normal people... sniff.

Friday... St. Patrick's Day... we usually get together at my grandma's for her birthday, but it's been pushed to this coming weekend since not everyone could get together. My parents still made corned beef and cabbage... ugh. But I heart boiled potatoes drowned in butter. I had some of the Smirnoff Appletini stuff I bought: Way too strong. I had to struggle to get through one and then gave up. I am not a very good Irishwoman.

I didn't do much this weekend other than read, watch TV and write... Accomplices Part 2 is getting entirely unwieldy at 13,000+ words. I'm almost at the end now though, so I'm going to go on and write through before taking the ax to it. Yesterday I wanted to work on something new for the meeting Thursday, but none of the other ideas I have scribbled down seemed right and I can't just pull an idea out of my ass. Seriously, I have no idea where anything comes from. I have this secret fear that someday I'll just stop getting new ones. Fornit some fornus, dammit.

I'm gonna go do my lesson plan and try to find something for lunch. I'm bored with everything I've eaten in like the past month and I'm combing through all my mom's cookbooks and magazines and things to find yum recipes.

Luck O' the Irish

Happy St. Pat's! As promised, Hot Irish Dudes. I know there are undoubtedly some glaring omissions here, so feel free to call me an idiot.

Dude, my next entry will be #200. I should probably do something special... but will probably be too distracted/lazy as usual. Oh well. Anyway, on to the guys!



Ed Burns


John Cusack


Billy Corgan


Colin Farrell


Denis Leary


Dean Winters

I can not stop even when you say that I worry way too much

I am just a couple of entries away from 200, wow! Who knew I had so much to say? Granted most of it was not particularly interesting, but at least there was a lot of it. Or something.

Today in the mail I got free samples of Dove clear deodorant and also shampoo... I would say I wish I hadn't shampooed or deodorized yet so I could try them right now but that would be yucky.

I have like an hour and a half before I have to go to my work meeting. Did I mention before how I hate waiting for stuff? But at least right now I'll have time to recover from my milkshake-stomachache (whoa that rhymed). My parents were out and went by McDonald's on their way back, but I'd already eaten lunch (sandwich) so I just asked for the yum vanilla milkshake. Not as if the not-really-milkshakes are healthy, but I always end up pouring half down the sink anyway because I get too full. I am also proud of myself for not saying "Fuck it, I'm not that full, bring me the works (in my case is a plain cheeseburger and fries)." Which is generally my attitude about everything.

But yeah, about my meeting: it's going to be at Starbucks. Last night I dreamt it was at the Mexican restaurant, and I was having issues finding it. I stop off at this gas station which is right next to an airport (?) and there's this freaky blond lady I'm trying to run away from and I finally get away from her by using the elevator. I am a nerd.

It was odd... last night my mom and I were watching "Super Nanny" she taped on Monday night and this lady called me from a job I apparently applied for back in October. It's an office position in a car repair shop, and she is pretty insistent that I mailed (real mail, not e-mail) her my resume and blah blah... which I don't think I would have but whatever. So I told her about my odd schedule of school and tutoring on Mondays-Thursdays and she said she'd get back to me. They had hired someone else, let her go last month and were looking through old files to see if anyone was suitable. Okie-dokie.

Hey, neat, I almost just broke my keyboard! Did you ever use one of those heavy-ass, blunt-object coasters that get stuck to your glass? I went to pick up my water, and the coaster came with it, then did a swan-dive onto the keyboard. It made a great (and by great I mean bad) sound... but I can still type... so it's all good.

Before I forget, again, yesterday I spent way too much time making my own Quiz Your Friends quiz. Swear it took me days to come up with ten questions.

It's amazing what writing everyday will do for your sanity, at least when you're me. Yesterday I wrote for a couple of hours* before signing off to watch "Judge Judy", and dug in for some more after dinner and doing the dishes**. I only quit because there was a hella funny episode of "Whose Line is it Anyway" on, where they do film noir in the bike shop. Heh, banana seat.

*It was more like re-writing from the unearthly scribbles in my pink argyle notebook. I always start off by hand but must eventually turn to the computer. This makes for much faster work, but also gives one the urge to slack off and play Spider Solitaire. I'm guilty, guilty, guilty.

**Tuesday is not my usual day, but I feel bad that my mom took on two extra days at the beginning of the semester - Mondays and Thursdays - when both my bro and I are at school. So I often load the dishwasher on Tuesday, as I did last night... only, I forgot to turn it on. I've been a super-ditz lately.

Not so much today though, as far as ditz-ness goes. I did two loads of laundry, my CW homework for last week, and both CW assignments for this week. They weren't that interesting, but me needs points.

My mom was watching "Judging Amy" earlier and it had this evil girl from one of my favorite episodes of "Law & Order SVU." They find this girl in the trunk of a car all dead and gross, and she was part of this clique of mean blond girls. JA also had the actress who plays Rhonda Pearlman on "The Wire." I can't wait for that show to return in the fall. I need that on DVD (along with every other show created ever) super much. Except for JA, which is the some of the most asinine crap I've ever seen. "Ugh, I'm a judge, and I whine and sleep around and drink wine a lot, and my daughter is annoying." Of all the shows for TNT to put in their "Primetime in the Daytime" lineup, why something with Amy Brenneman (sp?) and Tyne Daly?

You better take it back or we will both be sorry

Sunday was the return of "The Sopranos", yay. I won't reveal any super-spoilers (and boy is there at least one) but I'll just say one thing: Janice, with her own baby? Oy vey. And, Bobby with a train set makes me giggle.

Right now I feel worn out for some reason... well, I did go to bed after midnight last night and woke up at 6:30 this morning. Ugh.

Work yesterday was good. One of the boys in my class who's usually one of the most difficult was like an angel. They were all very hyper at first and one of the boys brought a basketball, so we worked that into a game to get them moving. We did a lesson plan involving the story "Rapunzel" that I did when I subbed for the other tutor's class a couple weeks ago, so it was all very easy and such.

And when I got home, there was Chinese food for dinner. Mmm. They had ordered what was supposed to be sesame chicken but I guess we got something else, and none of us can figure it out. It's chicken, and the sauce was very light and had a sweet, almost honey or nutty type flavor. It was good... but I had way too much of the leftovers at lunch today, ugh.

Class last night was so-so. We had to listen to this recording of Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried." It's a pretty good story, but the reading of it was hella long. It was probably about 35-40 minutes but felt like an hour. I was so ready for sleep. And then after that we had to keep discussing the story for about ten years. "Just shoot me" anyone? Ha.

Another short story that we read in the chapter but not in class, was "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been" by Joyce Carol Oates. I read one of her books ("Beasts", I think?) awhile back - man have I got to read more from this lady, cause she's straight twisted. Both the story and the novel I read were so great; it's one of those things where you're, "Oh yuck!" but also "How neat" because it's just written so well.

But at least my teacher is cool, he's leaving up some of our assignments to give us time to do them... so, I must. Yesterday I almost fell out of my chair when I was looking at my graded-so-far stuff and saw how many points I didn't have because I just blew off assignments. Well I'm an idiot.

This morning I went to Long's and was a good girl. I just got soap, hair conditioner and provisions for St. Patrick's Day: that is, some Smirnoff Appletini stuff. And seeing as I am part Irish I do consider that a necessity, hee hee hee. It's green, and alcholic, what more could you ask for?

By the way, if you are into hot Irish dudes you will want to be here on Friday when I present my favorite Hot Irish Dudes.

My boss called awhile ago to clear up the payment issue, whoo hoo. I will have all of my money for all of my training and classes, and fingerprint refund, from the end of February through yesterday. Word. Tomorrow a bunch of us at the company are going to have a meeting, at either Starbucks or this Mexican restaraunt. Wow, way for both of them to be places I never go. But I can always do my yum vanilla steamer, or a quesadilla. What I really want is a margarita though, mmm.

I'm off. Accomplices Part 2 (it really needs its own name) is progressing, slowly, but it's progressing.

Break your word and it'll break me down

I found my parking pass! For all the good it did me, because I had the worst stomachache ever and did not go to improv. I kind of just lie (lied? laid? I guess I'm not a grammar rock star after all, sniff) on my bed like a zombie, as I tend to.

But yeah, I'm a dork. I put the pass in a pocket in my purse I never use... when I found it, I could of course remember, "Oh yeah, I put it in here." Wow. I really wish I'd check that pocket before I went a-digging through the garbage... that included those disgusting kipper things... that was no help at all to my already nauseous-ness, I assure you.

Yesterday was my parents anniversary, aw. I didn't do much all day myself except for catch up on "The Sopranos" (I have three episodes left). My boss called at two to ask if I could be a sub... now mind you, sessions start at 2:15. I was rockin the PJ's and bad hair and no makeup, and also my parents were going out to an early dinner so I had to pass on that. She (my boss) was pissed, luckily not at me; whoever called her five minutes before I had, to tell them they couldn't make session in twenty minutes. Sheesh. It may or may not have been the girl I tutor with Mondays and Thursdays since she also has a Tues/Fri group (I did fill in for them before).

Also, I quite frankly don't want to put it any extra work from a company I still haven't gotten paid by. There are supposed to be two periods each month: 1st through the 15th, 16th through end of the month. For my stuff from February, through the 28th, I still have not gotten paid. It's supposed to be direct deposit, but I guess they've had issues in getting payments out on a regular day. Grr.

I'm crossing my fingers on possibly having more work soon, though: from my last job, I finally heard back from this publishing chick on stuff we needed and now we have it... so my boss is "reviewing the documents" (his words) and will get in touch when it's time to move forward. I'm free as soon as Tuesday, dude.

Yesterday I talked to this woman from a local writer's club that I've been meaning to get in touch with forever. They meet every other week in either morning or night sessions so I'm definitely going to get in on that when possible. She sent me an e-mail of their latest meeting minutes and looking through the names of everyone she sent it to, I think one of them is a woman I had acting with back in the day. If it's her I'd love to see her at a meeting or something.

Speaking of writing: My Accomplices Part 2 is coming along okay... but it's long. Longer than I wanted it to be, indeed; it's hitting around 8,000 right now and I had wanted it to be even shorter than part one (around 7,000). Well that ain't happening darlins... but better to be writing "too much" than not enough or not at all. Here's to Happy, Productive Muses.

Hey, St. Patrick's Day is next week. I always loved SPD as a kid because we had all these neat buttons/pins to wear. My favorites were "God Made the Irish #1" and one with a cute leprechaun and said something about "wee folk." Tee hee. This year I must find a cute guy to pinch. And have an appletini (hey, maybe at the same time, you never know).

Man is today dragging. Or else I'm just too looking forward to watching "Cops."

Ugh, remind me never to use the Earth Therapeutic lavender/valerian sleep spray again. I've had this stuff for awhile and I don't really put that much stock into it... it just smells nice and hey, whatever gives you a nudge into sleepyland right? But last night I had the most screwed-up scary dream that my mom was all evil and just weird. This wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up, thought, "That sucked," and fallen back asleep into a continuation of the dream.

I don't remember most of it; just that I had two younger sisters instead of one, and the youngest was just two or three years old. And we were all kind of waiting for my mom to "snap" and she never let us use the phone, and I had my cell on me and I had to keep it on silent all the time in case someone called me. I end up throwing it into the back of my closet so she wouldn't find it, and when she snapped (she was throwing glasses into everyone's faces and they'd break) I had to get the real phone. My dad took my sisters out to the car while I called 911 and the operator kept insisting I find a piece of mail so I could tell her the four digits after the regular five-digit zip code. I kept telling her, "That is not important!" and she insisted it was.

So, yeah: I'm laying off the valerian.

Last night I indulged myself in the bad television of "Nanny 911" and "Trading Spouses." The mom on N911 was straight up crazy; she had this pet pig who had his own room in the house, and she didn't even care when it snapped at her baby (who had a habit of, as they put it, "flinging poo"... ew). The children also ate the cat and pig food* and drank out of the cat's waterbowl. This family did not need a nanny; they needed Child Protective Services. Seriously.

*I didn't know pigs even had a food. I thought they just ate scraps, or slop, or whatever they call it.

I've decided I hate my desk chair. I can't not slouch in it. And I discovered on Tuesday or Wednesday that sitting in it for more than two hours** at once, my butt feels like I just exercised way too much. Without the benefit of exercising, of course.

**Which I shouldn't do, I know... but I was writing! That will now be my excuse for anything. "Yvonne, you burned the house down by making a quesadilla in the George Foreman grill, again." "Well, I was writing."

I figure my Brainless-TV Fridays will be at least balanced out by Intriguing-TV Wednesdays with the new FX show "Black/White." I'm sincerely amazed at how much someone's appearance can change with makeup... though, they gave the really-white mom and the really-black kid, really-bad hair. I loved when the really-white girl went to the slam poetry group (with all other slammers being black kids), and said her favorite/most inspiring artist was The Cranberries. I was rolling for days.

I took a dive just to prove I was alive

My brother was just watching the episode of "Full House" where Stephanie and her friends form a band and perform Ace of Base's "The Sign" at some talent show... which is really funny because I was just listening to that album this morning. Say what you want about Ace of Base, that CD is pretty awesome.

And I still don't get why my brother still watches that show. They always have these problems that aren't really problems; like, "Oh, you're obsessed with your hair!" or "You forgot my birthday!" Nothing serious, because then it just wouldn't be family friendly I guess. I don't know about anyone else's family but mine is more like the Sopranos than the Tanners. Everyone's got their own secret agenda, old grudges, secrets, etc. I'm not having any drama right now, I was just thinking of it because I watched this great episode yesterday where a family dinner went to hell because Uncle Junior started babbling about Tony not being good enough to play varsity football... yeah I don't get it either.

Man, I want some lunch but nothing we have sounds good. The usual staples, such as sandwiches or quesadilla, just sound boring. More interesting stuff, such as this great broccoli salad from Costco or leftover lasagna, seems too weird. I had a deliciously unhealthy breakfast of a (homemade) cheeseburger... I know I should've had real breakfast food but I can't stand most of it. Especially in the morning. Cereal especially creeps me out, though yesterday I tried the new strawberry frosted mini-wheats. They're strange but good.

Oh, I had another living-Virgin-Mary-statue dream last night. Something bad happened, I don't know what, and it hadn't happened in my bedroom (I think) but when I went in and looked on the bookshelf she was turned around because she was so offended or scared or whatever. And I picked it up and kept saying "Don't worry!" or something similar, and I kept opening my eyes and closing them because she kept changing. Ugh.

My blog template is irking the hell out of me. I was thinking of just changing the images and colors, but I want comments back and don't think it's ever going to work with this one. I miss looking at my bloggie and seeing random little notes from you guys. Sniff.

My computer keeps lagging or dragging or whatever the technical damn term is. It needs more RAM... well, don't look for it anytime soon computer. I'm straight busted out. I can't fill up my gas tank, or pay the cable bill. I owe money to myself that I took out of savings. I need new shoes (seriously, when I say I need new shoes I really mean it; I hate buying shoes).

I did a superficial cleaning of my car earlier... removed five or six empty water bottles, a bunch of random papers and napkins and business cards, four empty packs of gum, and one red Bic lighter. WTF? Where it came from, nobody knows. I certainly have no use for it. I kind of wish I did have the need to set stuff on fire, because I have all these great Skyy Vodka boxes of matches. One of them I think I inadvertently gave to my grandma awhile back, and the three others are lurking in this Lipsmackers box where I keep all my change.

Oh shit, I just realized I can't find my parking pass for school. Where the hell did I put it? It travels strictly from car to bedroom. I know I had it driving home Monday night after class... pardonnez-moi while I go on a hunt. If you hear any explosions that is my head if I can't find it.

Is it my fault for trying to be your friend

The rest of my class went to see "The Vagina Monologues" Monday night... well, my teacher and the two other people that showed up. Odd. I waited around in the class for awhile for stragglers, one of the women had already seen it as well and the other went home instead, hee hee. I went to go have a munch at the cafeteria and spent awhile trying to find a good place to write. I ended up in (what I call) the quad, which is open and it was semi-cold but very nice.

Yesterday was okay. Psycho-weather again. Today looks to be sunny but cold, brr. I'm going to go out in just a few to get my parents anniversary present* and to the drugstore.

*This will remain undisclosed for now... unfortunately I'm not going to be able to spend as much as I'd hoped. I still haven't gotten paid... not as if there's lots of money in working four hours per week. Sheesh. I asked my bro for a contribution to the present and he's also broke. Sigh. I already did the inexcusable last week and put some of my saved refund money into my checking. Otherwise I just would not have been able to fill up my car or... I forget what else I spent my money on but for once it wasn't crap I didn't need.

I had this great dream last night that involved meeting Dominic West, and a priest getting me drunk. Whoo hoo!

This entry sucks. Move on to better stuff, loveys.

I could give you anything but time

Our walk yesterday was postponed... eh. I could have used that time better by exercising or doing my homework or writing, but instead I had the Sci-Fi channel "Hellraiser" marathon on... oh the badness.

I finally did do my homework this morning. One of the assignments, anyway. There were a few different choices of scenes/stories to write and I chose "Write a scene where a person in a restaurant sees a former love on a date with their new love, while walking to the restroom." Well, the description wasn't written so awkwardly, but you get what I mean. I need to post that and other stuff from class. I should have done it this last weekend when I put up Accomplices (do you guys like how I keep plugging that?)

And as long as we're talking about it, I am knee-deep in part 2. I should be working on that right now instead of blogging but I feel way too lethargic. I don't know whether we're going to have a regular class tonight or go to "The Vagina Monologues." It was a great show but I'd rather just have class.

Man would I kill for a Hershey bar right now.

So apparently I don't have work this week, which I only found out by going to work today. Just to keep things in chronological order: I leave 15 minutes early so I can go by the bank (for withdrawal instead of deposit, unfortunately) and then to fill up my car. It takes longer than I expect and I don't even fill up my tank the whole way, and dash off to the school. I call the office to have the custodian unlock the classroom* and the receptionist informs me that this week is early dismissal all week, no tutoring. The other tutor didn't know about this either, and so we both showed up for a whole lot of nothing.

*I have to call them every time, which is annoying for everyone involved. I don't get why they can't just arrange to have it unlocked regularly. I know the receptionist hates me calling; she sounded really happy to tell me that I was basically not needed.

Well, there goes more money I won't earn. At least with my extra few hours on Thursday I can catch up with "The Sopranos." I've watched only the first two episodes of season 5, and it starts up again on Sunday... along with the new "Big Love" with Bill Paxton as a polygamist (and the annoying Chloe Sevigny as one of the wives). I have a feeling this will either completely suck, or be brilliant; I guess we have to wait and find out.

I slept great last night, which was a nice change of pace from the night before that. I woke up (this morning) at about 6:45 on my own... though I did hear those psycho cats start in on it awhile later. They need an exorcism, or at least a waterhose turned on them.

Oh yeah, yesterday I also watched a part of VH1's new series, "I Love Toys." Like, the "I Love (Insert Decade)", but with toys. Hmm. But I would watch even more nefarious crap to witness the hot genius that is Michael Ian Black.

45 more minutes before leaving for school and nothing to do... I hate waiting for things that happen at the end of the day. Hmm, I know, I'll take off my crappy nail polish. Cheers to having a purpose in life...

Confidential to South Dakota Governor Mike Rounds: Fuck you.

We'll be spelling everything with letters from now on

Tutoring Thursday went pretty well even though a few of the kids seemed antsy. The games I made up went over better than the original in the lesson plan. Take that Math Rap! The other tutor and I are trying to figure out how to split things up more evenly, so she'll probably do planning for Monday's class, then I'll do for Thursday, and repeat.

I don't know if we were supposed to have improv Thursday night (I saw a couple of the guys, one while walking in and the other when I was sitting around and talking to EC on my cell phone) but I sure wasn't there. I went to see the preview* of "The Vagina Monologues." It was vag-tastic (now there's a word that I bet doesn't get much circulation). But seriously: great show, great message. My creative writing teacher e-mailed everyone talking about possibly seeing it on Monday (closing night) so I may or may not see it again.

*Wednesday and Thursday were really dress rehearsals with LMC students as an audience. How neat-o.

Yesterday I was for some reason convinced that it was Saturday. I didn't do a lot; some laundry, and watched an episode of (the original) "Touching Evil" I taped from a few weeks ago. I quite like it, but with my short American attention span two hours seems a bit long.

So a couple of days ago I painted my nails with this L'Oreal pink I got on clearance at Target... now I know why it was on clearance. It's not a great shade at all, and it's terribly chipped. That'll teach me to try to cut corners.

Last night I stayed up late (for me) working more on "Accomplices" which is now posted in the writing section. I guess I feel okay about the changes I made; everyone did had very valid points, but for me it always feels a bit wrong to add stuff that wasn't there before. But I'm looking at it from the POV where I know everything in the background anyway, so stuff that makes sense to me probably leaves other people like, "What the hell?"

Mmm, last night I made this peach-pineapple cobbler. It's divine. It's talking to me from the kitchen. I haven't had lunch yet... we're waiting on a delivery from this new pizza place. My mom and I were out this morning first to the supposedly "monster" sale at Mervyn's. No good clothes, especially pajamas. I've been meaning to cute myself up in that area but I guess Mervyn's does not want to supply them to chubby girls. Well, there's always Fashion Bug. Mervyn's did have some nightgowns but I'd prefer a shirt/pants set.

We went to a couple of antique shops and I got a few things, for pretty good prices too. A pink purse with a pretty ribbon (turns out to be Victoria's Secret) that looks a lot like a pair of Candie's socks I got at Kohl's, a pillbox with a Victorian Lady (I have these gorgeous Virgin Mary pillboxes LS gave me days ago, but I hate to remove them from my house, which kinda diminishes the point I know), and... oh yes, this neat clock. It's black with these pretty flower and butterfly designs, and it says "Papillon." It reminds me of this Asian-style clock my parents have that I have always loved, so now I've got one too. The only issue is going to be figuring out where to keep it.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going on a walk/dinner/something with DM, MB and AM but I don't know the details... or if it's still going to go on. MB is apparently sick (stay away! Just kidding girl... well not really), and it may or may not rain, and blah blah blah. I want to do something, though.

I need to e-mail my director and find out when exactly I get paid. I need to gas up old Betsy, pay my Mervyn's and cable bills.

Oh, here's something dumb. Yesterday my bro and parents had a meeting with the financial aid people at the college... who could not help them because my brother didn't have his ID. Okay, I got a TB test and fingerprinted on Monday, and neither time was I ever asked for an ID (which is pretty alarming if you think about it). But I guess they were allowed to speak in generalities, and the end result is he probably won't get the aid which I don't understand. We are in the same financial state as we were when I was getting it, and units cost almost three times as much now. Explain that Arnold!

End politi-financial rant. The pizza isn't due to be here for like 40 minutes and I need a snack before I fall over.

The end is written

February is over already! (And yes I am late in pointing this out.) Now, 2006 is 1/6th over. Boo...

My substituting on Tuesday went pretty good, I think. I found the school just fine but had some issues finding the parking lot, ha. There were four kids, two boys and two girls. They're all smart kids but the two girls actually act it while the boys just be silly. They kept mentioning and drawing some character they made up called "El Loco" who drives cars into trees... as is my understanding.

I have my regular class today, and I'm kinda worried but not really because I'm totally deviating from the lesson plan. One game I'm substituting with something else because of my mistakenly doing it on Monday. The other one I'm re-doing because I doubt the kids can or would do what's in the book, which is a "Math Rap." They would have to do multiplication problems than have a rhyme that follows it, and at the end present in a rap. Such as, "Five times zero is zero, I am a super hero!" If a teacher/tutor/whatever tried to make me do this exercise I'd be so embarrassed I'd fall off the face of the earth. So, they're still going to do all their multiplication and division, but in (what I think) is better games.

I took Pepe for a walk yesterday, which went okay except for when we ran into this big poofy dog on the corner. This poor dog is always out walking around the neighborhood by himself (though not for much longer I guess, the family is moving). He came out behind us and Pepe went crazy so I had to pick him up and walk away... the dog was following (not running or chasing, just kind of stumbling along like an idiot... he's a cute but dumb looking dog) until the guy who lived there got him back into their house. There's a leash law for a reason, dorkus malorkus.

The last two nights we've had healthy-ish dinner for some reason. Tuesday night my mom made an Asian salad that was genius and last night I did roasted potatoes and mixed veggies (they would have been healthier had less olive oil been involved in these recipes, but what you gonna do).

I slept all the way through again last night... there was some weird dream about not having a shower curtain, and buying lots of candy at either Long's or Raley's. Hmm. But yeah, when I woke up and tried to work on some brainteasers/puzzles I was just way too out of it to understand anything. That'll teach me to try to function without a shower and caffeine first.

I don't know if there's going to be improv tonight... there's going to be a preview of "The Vagina Monologues" so I'm going to that. I'll have an hour to kill in the meantime after dropping off my bro so I'm going to have dinner at the caf if it's open, or run over to Del Taco if it's not. Mmm, french fries...

Last night I worked a bit on making notes on stuff to add/change in "Accomplices." Maybe I will work on that now since I have two hours before I have to leave for work.

My final note for this entry: Last night was the season finale* of "Epitafios." Thank you HBO for giving us one hell of a shocker (of a series and an episode). I can't count how many times I screamed, "OH MY GOD!" last night. I'll never be able to hear opera music (especially from "Carmen") again without feeling extremely unsettled.



Romeo and Juliet have nothing on Laura and Renzo.


*Since all sources are referring to this as a season, as opposed to series, finale, I think it is pretty safe there will be another. What they're going to do even I can't imagine, but after last night I have complete faith that the writers will give us something good.